My sister is a Sugar Baby

I didn't see the programme that you mention, but I did see a very interesting interview with a prospective porn star who gave a very brutal analysis of the industry.
The business likes you to arrive playing the part of an innocent/virgin. When the novelty (or figure) has passed, you're 'girlfriend' material, which might include lesbian/bisexual work, before the older woman, after which you're expected to suffer for your art with large implements, rough treatment or BDSM.
I'm not sure if it was encouraging or not to see someone in their early twenties explain their game-plan to navigate the options acceptable to her before anticipated retirement in her late twenties.

I deffo think there’s a sexual element she’s hiding here! Of course there is- who the hell gives money/gifts etc for zero in return?? Over the internet?! No one. Reminds me of the horrendous ‘Dubai porta potty’ scam/scandal/abuse whatever you want to call it!!! I don’t think you should freak out but she will likely wise up soon when someone either asks her for sex, dirty pics (possible already happening?) or she gets asked to come to Dubai!!!! X

What a ridiculous question 😂😂. But to answer……Well no, because those are legitimate career paths and two of them require actual talent to succeed. Though they also need a plan for when that career ends as all three generally have a shortish career span so I would still ask the same question.

I don't suppose your sis even get tax credits anyways 😆

Mumsnet is definitely not the place for this question going by the replies 😂

What your sister is taking part in is a kink called Findom (financial domination). The whole point of findom is that the sugar baby demands gifts and the daddy/mummy gets nothing in return. In fact most prefer to be scolded eg. You sent me this piece of shit? Do better you pathetic little man.

So sure, sex work. That doesn’t mean having sex or doing can work or anything like that.

I would advise you strongly encourage her to use a false name and a PO Box but other than that keep out of it.

In any case... whatever your sister is doing: she's skint. Looks like sex work, drug mule or only fans or whatever gig she had is not that profitable, being a total adult she just moved back to her parents. Had she been making decent money she would have gotten her own place. Leaving that finance job sounds a bit silly, I mean... none of us love our jobs but we don't have the privilege to quit and move back to the parents (unless we have a solid backup plan). Your sister doesn't sound like the sharpest tool in the shed OP and I would be more worried about that.

My knowledge of it doesn't come from TV.

Would you say this to a model, ballerina or sports woman?

I think people like to sugar coat sex work as something like Pretty Woman but the reality is probably a lot more extreme, not to mention that you also risk your life.

Many years ago one of the TV Channels did a documentary on women working in the porn industry and I remember one of the UK women saying that after being approached by an 'older man' as a teenager to be a 'model' then progressing to glamour modelling and then into porn films she was taken to LA where she found the abundance of women trying to get work meant you were vulnerable to be pressurised into only working if you were willing do stuff like double penetration, choked and brutalised through violence, extreme sex, etc. I think she was also raped by the casting director as part of the audition process - this was just part of the course... In the end she returned back to the UK. Did anyone else see this?

Don’t be naive, she’s sleeping with them

Bluntly, regarding your worries about her coming across a weirdo - I would say that all of the people who give her gifts are weirdos.

I was interested enough to Google what is a sugar baby then clicked on 'why you shouldn't be a sugar baby' If I had any doubts as to it not being an innocent agreement this explanation gave me the answer.

Is she very bright (clever) good looking and bubbly, good personality? I'm just wondering what the attraction is.

This is not as j usual as most of yoj seem to think. Many many people are turned on by being taken advantage of slightly. It’s a cuck thing. It’s really not at all uncommon that no sex is involved in this.
ive attracted loads of people like tris and though no sex is involved I whole
lot of time and effort staying in character is needed.
just saying.

Is she going to have to carry a few packages on her travels 😵‍💫

I now have that song in my head.

@MiniMinn She said “it’s fine because I don’t have sex with any of them”.

😅😂😅

I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn.

@Bobtheamazinggingerdog I was a sugarbaby for years and never had sex with any of them.

And others-as a PP has said, a lot of people are commenting who know nothing about it. I am a lesbian, there's no goddam way I'd have had sex with any man I had an arrangement with! Not saying it doesn't go on, but saying she absolutely has to be having sex with them is ignorant.

And there was me thinking this thread was going to be about The Rubettes!!

😂😂

I think some replies on this thread “ there’s no such thing as free money “ “ they will want sex “ are coming from people who don’t really know anything about it. Plenty of people make money from having financial arrangement - rich men who want to feel ‘powerful’ , men who are probably quite sad and want to feel like they have a connection etc . Plenty of women make money from web cams , pictures , videos - no sex.

However , that’s not to say that she won’t come across someone who will want something more , I think it’s quite dangerous to be giving out her address ( and especially your parents address!) and actually I think your parents have a right to know!

On a side note , how would someone get into this ? Research purposes only 🤣jk x

I don't think it is 'normal' She's basically an escort.

On the address front, I remember Michael J Fox talking about a situation when he returned to his house with his wife and kids to find a family picnicking by his swimming pool.
He asked them to leave and as big fans they apparently thought he was extremely unreasonable.

Sex worker doesn’t have to mean prostitute, it also includes people who pose for /act in porn. Some people prefer porn involving people they know (or think they know).

do raise the issue of people having your parents home address, she shouldn’t be giving out their address as it’s not fair on them when you don’t know who these people are.

As a genuine question, do relationships like these fizzle out once a fan has had sex with the sugar- or does it sometimes become a long-term thing?