Sister wants £20 limit "per household"

Ah, missed that update!
I think the Xmas eve boxes are a lovely idea!

£40 isn’t much more than £20, can’t you just buy like normal and if she says anything just say you got it on a deal?

Not sure if it's something you would consider, but my family started doing a secret Santa style thing for Xmas a few years ago and that really helped with keeping the budget affordable for everyone.
The idea was that it was better to get 1 present with a bigger budget than lots of small ones (which everyone found frustrating in the first place as the giver).
If you did this, it would make a nice 60£ budget per person, and it would be affordable for everyone including your sister. You can always treat your parents for their birthday?

How are you old enough to be on the internet but not to know Christmas is a traditional gift-giving event?

I would just say to your sister you already bought your parents presents before she discussed a spending limit with you. Tell her you saw a few nice things on offer so you bought them for your parents.
Tell her as well that your happy just getting a small gift or a gift worth X from her using the limit she set. Ask her what she like for that limit. If you have a partner or kids you could say to her well a tin of sweets always go down well here. She not arriving empty handed and a tin of sweets is not expensive.

Why should you give your elderly parents a poor present to suit your sister? If she wanted a certain spending limit to happen she should have spoken to you sooner.

I would just say to your sister you already bought your parents presents before she discussed a spending limit with you. Tell her you saw a few nice things on offer so you bought them for your parents.
Tell her as well that your happy just getting a small gift or a gift worth X from her using the limit she set. Ask her what she like for that limit. If you have a partner or kids you could say to her well a tin of sweets always go down well here. She not arriving empty handed and a tin of sweets is not expensive.

Why should you give your elderly parents a poor present to suit your sister? If she wanted a certain spending limit to happen she should have spoken to you sooner.

Just say sorry but I've not been able to stick to the limit we've agreed. Prices have gone up such a lot this year.or just don't say anything. Its not as if prices are on things.

But it's not that simple is it?

In my circle, yes. It really is that simple.

If you give someone a gift, most people will feel obliged to give one back.
That is self-imposed obligation, thus not my problem. People make their own choices and can choose to respond how they wish. I have no control over other people’s reactions or choices thus I don’t stress about it.

Because you've both spent £X and ended up with an item chosen by the other which may be unwanted or unsuitable.
That doesn’t happen in my circle because I only buy what I absolutely know the people I buy for like, need and want. I don’t buy needless tat because I think carefully about it. For example, I have got my (adult - shock horror!) brother a ps5 game out of a list of options he gave me. He doesn’t generally buy games for himself because of the cost, so getting one for Christmas is a nice treat for him. I’ve got my step niece and nephew stuff I know they like, will use or need, and which I have chatted to my SIL about. Etc etc.

Plus they have to pretend to like whatever you've given them and then either display, wear or use it, or they'll give it to a charity shop, and either way they'll feel guilty about the waste of money/resources and irritated about the extra mental load of dealing with buying gifts and getting rid of unwanted ones.
Again, I buy useful and wanted items, not crap. The ‘guilty’ thing is also self-imposed, which I can’t control, so I’m not going to stress about how others create all this unnecessary drama and stress for themselves.

So while you might think it's a thoughtful, generous gesture, many don't agree and would prefer not to bother at all. In your world perhaps. Not in mine. If people feel guilty or stressed or pressured instead of grateful, happy and cheerful, that’s their issue and they’ve chosen to feel those things themselves. It has nothing to do with me. People need to take more personal responsibility for their emotions and reactions to things.

Reading some of these comments I'm so glad that, years ago, we all agreed on no Christmas presents other than token consumables - booze, chocolates, home-baked goods, a chunk of Stilton...

@ImTheGoat has she actually stipulated that you shouldn’t spend x on your parents? Only because if i phrased it like that (£20 per household) I would assume that it just means between the giver and the receiver.
we do this for my sister because she’s single and we’re a family of 5. It gets expensive for her so we set a limit of £50 per household rather than £20 per person- meaning that she doesn’t have an outlay of £100 whilst we only have £20. This doesn’t affect what my parents spend, we spend on grandparents or other sibling (who has a family too so we tend to do a token for the adults and presents for the kids)

I can’t believe this. You ought to
tell your sister that she need not bother getting you a gift and to save her money.

You buy her and your parents wth you like!

No need to dance around her wants and needs.

Another one who agrees with this.

I think that’s a tactful way of handling it @ImTheGoat as long as your parents don’t make a big fuss about it in front of your sister.

People saying “you can do what you want” are rather missing the point, in my opinion. Of course you can do what you want but it’s nice to be nice and anyone that doesn’t have financial worries at Christmas is lucky & should try to be thoughtful about others in a less fortunate situation.

Won’t you have to ask them not to mention the Christmas Eve boxes? Which forces them to be a bit clandestine ( in itself unchristmassy?). And what if your sister finds out? I personally wouldn’t have dove what she has and suggested what others should do, but if I had and thought it was agreed, I would feel really annoyed if I discovered about them - much more annoyed than if you just upfront you were going to get more for your parents. I’d feel like the kid whose parents ate the confiscated sweets after I had gone to bed ( mine did that once! Said we had all eaten too much junk over Christmas - they really meant we children had - and they were going in the present box to give as gifts. Got up for a drink and found them guzzling them!)

I'd just get your Mum something nice. If your sister asks just say you spent £20 and say you got it heavily reduced in a sale. You forgot where you got it now. You got it Months ago. Or give your Mum and Dad smaller gifts but then treat your Mum to a voucher in January she can spend. No need to mention it to your sister.

She's told her sister she's struggling this year, how is that dictating? It's not hard to just agree to the limit to make another person feel better is it? You've clearly never been the one left feeling guilty and uncomfortable because others have spent more than you and it shows in your attitude, along with anyone else that has commented the same, yours was just the first one to still comment this way AFTER the OP has outlined her perfectly lovely solution.

I wouldn't have let her dictate what I buy people for gifts to start with.

I would say your parents are not kids to wait the gift on Christmas day , buy from now to your parents whatever you think they need i.e the books for your mother and send them to them without being a Christmas gift...is just a gift. No need to mention I give it now because bla bla gift them what you want now or after the holidays and on Christmas day with your sister exchange nice cute gifts like beauty products .. an aftersave for dad and nice socks or body mist for mom . I wouldn't want to bring your sister in uncomfortable position and you can gift to your parents whatever you want all year around no need to do on Christmas day

So you'd be happy to let your sister feel crap ilon Christmas day because you want to feel like the big I am? Luckily the OP is a lot nicer to her siblings than you

It's a limit not a target. Spend a tenner on her.

This is the perfect solution! Have a wonderful Christmas 🎄

Id just buy presents that ensure each of your family members has something nice to open and don't get hung up on it being exactly £20. It's probably just a guideline so your sister doesn't feel she has to keep up with presents like a Cartier watch or a new Smartphone etc (just examples, don't take literally!)

I'd be glad it reduces complexity and time - just get each person to ask for a simple item and job's a goodun

Just buy what you want to buy everyone! If she moans and you cab with arguing tell her Black Friday was good to you this year.
She sounds a controlling pita.