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AIBU?

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Original poster

My daughters don't want me

83 replies

Greedybilly · 26/11/2023 19:10

I've been so sad for a few weeks now Partly because I feel so unwanted bu my kids - both teens - both have jobs and friends which is great obvs but no time for me! I just occasionally want to have a cuppa/watch tv - god forbid a day out or go shopping or to the pics. They just don't ever take me up on my suggestions and it hurts. I'm genuinely pleased that they have lives etc I just feel sad that I'm not on their radars. Any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
justalittlesnoel · 26/11/2023 19:23

@Greedybilly aw it must be hard seeing them doing it if that's what you want to do!

I can say from my experience of being like that as a teen, it was totally different from about 22 when I came back from uni. We now do coffee catch ups often or days out shopping. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that aged 15 though! Hopefully yours will be the same 😊

EveryKneeShallBow · 26/11/2023 19:21

As a parent of 20 and 30 somethings I’d say you need to back off for now. Once they’re confident in their world they’ll come back. And they’ll be amazed how wise and interesting you’ve become in the meantime 😉

Conkersinautumn · 26/11/2023 19:21

The best advice I ever had from MN: when you have teens, get a dog, so someone is always pleased to see you.

Teens have a strong urge to get out, away and live their own lives. Make it clear they're welcome on those trips and that you're there, shoikd you need them. Allegedly they will come back one day.

Original poster
Greedybilly · 26/11/2023 19:21

@justalittlesnoel Yes I know and it's so great that they're busy and content. Yes I have good mates but ,like I said they're all doing fun stuff with daughters this weekend. I'm genuinely pleased that they're both ok but just wish very occasionally they would have a cuppa with me .

OP posts:
justalittlesnoel · 26/11/2023 19:18

Sounds like you've raised happy sociable teens with seems amazing on its own!

Do you have any close friends to do those sorts of things with? As a teenager I wouldn't be thrilled about a cup of tea with my mum vs hanging out with friends (different now I'm 30!). Can you do things with a partner? Don't place all of your feelings onto your teenagers they're only young and still figuring things out!

Original poster
Greedybilly · 26/11/2023 19:18

Thanks @sleepymama3 .They are 15 and 17. They both really hate girly/beauty stuff but when I've suggested lunch/cinema/trip to IKEA/anything they're just not interested;(

OP posts:
sleepymama3 · 26/11/2023 19:14

Couldn't read and run - no advice but my heart goes out to you. What ages are they? Could you make part of their Christmas present a nail salon trip or similar?

Original poster
Greedybilly · 26/11/2023 19:12

Really hammered it home this weekend as all my close friends seemed to be doing stuff with daughters and just made me feel so alone. We do have a pretty good relationship and I don't want them to pity me but just sad that I'm not worth hanging out with ever.

OP posts:
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