Husband left kids alone at home

@ScremeEggs
This is what happened to me too! The absolute fear as I went from room to room trying to find them! Eventually I shouted for them, and they came straight back from next door where they were (turns out they’d plugged in the baby monitor to listen out for me). It still makes me go cold thinking of it, though. I was so scared.

While I wouldn't leave an 8 year old and an 11 year old alone at night in the situation you did, the children knew, were happy with it, and your husband agreed. Whereas your husband lied to you and is unlikely to have told the kids - if they woke up and found no one, they would be shocked.

No one in the real world would leave an 11 year old and 8 year old alone like this. So many risks and very dangerous.

Where do you mention 14-15 year olds?

Totally agree with this.

I doubt OP will be back

Why the FUCK is she unreasonable to have a night out?!?!?!

Can't believe this is a genuine post. At their ages they are far to young to be left alone AT ALL., day or night ir anytime. You are both as bad as each other.

I wouldn't leave an 8 year old alone at all. I would be starting to leave an 11 year old for an hour or so during the day if they felt comfortable with it.
I would not leave them together.
I definitely wouldn't leave an 11 year old in the evening and I consider sneaking out when they are asleep to be neglect. What if one of them woke up sick and was looking for their parent. There are all sorts of possibilities of something going wrong.
I would forget going out without a babysitter until they are at least 14 and 11, and even then it depends on level of maturity..

I think 11 is the right age once they go to secondary school to start leaving them alone for short periods of time in the daytime. However, 11 years old is far too young to be left in charge/responsible for anyone else.

Re leaving them alone - don’t do it.

you have a responsibility to look after your children. What is wrong with you?

Not sure why people are piling on the OP. They tried something out, and it didn't feel right so they decided not to do it again.

But for your OH to leave them alone asleep is pretty bad behaviour in my book, why couldn't his friend come around to his?

Wow. I got a panicked phone call from my daughter one night when she woke up. She was at her dad’s and couldn’t find him. I was very nearly in the car going round (well after midnight) as he wasn’t answering his phone. I told her to check all the rooms and she eventually heard him on the phone inside his back door. But she panicked as she woke up and thought he was gone. She was 13. In fact last night she panicked at 9pm as she was sat in the lounge on her phone and didn’t notice me take a phone call and move to my bedroom so she wasn’t over hearing the call (she’s autistic and even with her AirPods in she can usually hear and often interrupts me). She appeared at my bedroom door saying she thought I must have gone to the shops!! I said not at that time and if I needed to pop out I would have told her - she’s fine being left for short periods.

I just hope your DH hadn’t snuck out whilst they were asleep as if they woke they would have been upset.

Awful from the pair of you!

OMG, not right OP, why are you both suddenly so keen to get out and leave them?

My DC are 9 and 11 (v nearly 10 and 12) and we've started leaving them for 15-30 mins in the daytime.

You are both neglectful parents so you can't be mad at him over something you've done. It's awful though obviously and if my ex did that my child wouldn't be staying again.

First reply nailed it. You both set this up with that precedent.

However, what he did was worse. If they had woken up they’d have been terrified to find out they were alone.

Six homes a couple of streets from us were taken out in a fire. Fires do happen and young children shouldn’t have to find themselves in one without an adult.

Thank god the children are OK.
Lesson learnt.
Scream at your husband who hasn't learnt a thing.

How did it go?

Your husband was unreasonable for what he did.

You are both unreasonable for what you’ve done in the past.

Please stop leaving your children at home alone, even during the day. They are too young.

The decisions that you are making are placing your children at risk of significant harm, which is the threshold for child protection procedures being in place to safeguard your children.

It's 16 since last year, but what's your point? No, not all 7 year olds are mature enough to be left home alone, the supreme court also said that one always has to consider the particular child and the circumstances.
I would expect that an average 14-15 year old is mature enough to be left though, while several people on this thread have disagreed.

Fuck sake this is shocking you are both absolute idiots for doing this all for a party?? Missing out on stuff is part of being a parent, your children come first. People like you disgust me what if one of them had woken up? Became unwell? House fire? Burglar? Power cut? So many things that children of that age just aren’t able to cope with.
I am in no way sticking up for ur dh BUT why would him going out tonight be any different to before. In his mind I assume he was thinking they were sleeping and wouldn’t even know, done it before.

My dh would be out the door for this and reported to the police. I hope ur children say something in school about being left alone because u both deserve to be reported.

I think leaving them at home is fine depending on the level of maturity. But he should've communicated and agreed this with you first.

Sorry but what have I just read? An 11 year old being left in charge of an 8 year old at night so the parents can go to a party, that’s insane!!!!! What on earth were you both thinking?! As for him yesterday, what did you expect when that is your standard!

In Estonia the age of consent is 14. Are all 14 year old children mature enough to make that decision?