Husband left kids alone at home

Yes, I think we do have different expectations and experiences. Different judgments as well.

I’m fairly confident that most people, if they discovered that a child they knew had woken in the night feeling ill and couldn’t find their parent whom they were expecting to be there, would be very concerned indeed, and very possibly call social services.

But you do you.

Absolutely too young to be left in at night for any length of time regardless of phoning and check-ins (if true you were doing all this remote childcare what was point of going to party for 2.5hrs anyway?) Both totally unreasonable. You certainly can’t comment on partner sodding off when you have previously done it jointly. A brief nip to shop in daylight? Fine, if reasonable responsible kids (better yet send them to the corner shop for you). Leaving them at night is just wrong and could be considered neglect if anything untoward happened.

What an oddly aggressive post. I appreciate that you don’t think your children could cope in this situation but I think most could. Perhaps we just have different children and different expectations and experiences? I wouldn’t expect either child to vomit all over the place because that doesn’t happen that often. None of my children would get up and cook something in the middle of the night.

This!

As above far too young

This cannot be real?

If anything happened ( say , a fire ) , would they even know what hat to do ?

I'm from abroad so this discussion has been fascinating from my perspective and what is considered acceptable where I live. Serious question, are the majority of 8-10 year olds in the UK not taught what to do in emergency situations? Of course I understand they might panic and forget, but don't most parents at least try? Or is it assumed they are never alone until they are adults so no point?

FAR FAR too young to be left alone . So many things could go badly wrong . Unfortunately you had set the precedent by leaving them to go to a birthday party , he compounded this by leaving them without telling you . He’s obviously in the wrong , but , sorry to say , so are you for the first error of judgement. If anything happened ( say , a fire ) , would they even know what hat to do ? Please re think leaving them alone at all until much older .

@DonnaBanana

I appreciate it's something you're anxious about but it would be doing your kids a disservice not to ever leave them alone until they're adults.

It means they won't actually be prepared for adulthood and won't have enjoyed some independence in a safe, supported environment before they potentially move out / go to uni.

It's so crucial that during teen years children are allowed to start to explore the world in a safe and supported (age appropriate) way in order to give them the tools and confidence they need to start their adulthood.

Op I’m going to back you! You made a mistake and you owned it! There is no law as to what age you can leave a child. I wouldn’t have left mine at that age but everyone is different. I have put the information from the gov website so people can see you haven’t actually broke any laws!

Come on, use your brain here. One, my eldest isn't 17 yet so no.

But as you won't leave them before they're adults, you will be getting a babysitter for your DC when they are 17?

I just hope that you’re actually very bad at backtracking and admitting you were wrong, rather than just a horrible person/bad parent. Waking up and being sick all over the bed, then finding that no parent is there when they were supposed to be? You think that’s totally manageable? Go on, dig a bit deeper. Jesus that’s bad.

So you won't pop out to the shops and leave 12+ on their own for a little while?

Do you let them out on their own?

Your kids have to be 18 before you'd go away without them?

<sigh>

She isn't.

She is unreasonable not to make arrangements for her children's care first

See?

Although it isn't actually illegal to leave an 11 year old home alone it is against the law if it puts them at risk. I suppose it depends on the children if an accident were to happen then you would be held responsible.

To be honest I would imagine that part of “the list” was totally manageable by the children.

You know loads of people go to uni at 17 in Scotland? And you can go at 17 in the rest of the UK in some circumstances.

Come on, use your brain here. One, my eldest isn't 17 yet so no. Two, you can't go to university at 17 as you leave college at 18. And fourth, I don't get out very much but if I do my kids come with me as they are all under 10.

Jeeze mine are 13, 16 and 21 and we still can’t leave the house without a war breaking out. I kid you not we go for a date coffee and within half an hour we get a call asking when we’ll be back haha.

in all seriousness though op children are far too young to be left alone on a night. Even the 11 year old on their own never mind an 8 year old thrown into the mix. I’d be livid with DH if he did this

Have you actually read the list properly? Child waking feeling a bit ill, child waking and actually vomiting, child just getting up because they can’t sleep, child attempting to get food on their own, child having a bad dream and wanting comfort. Yeah, never happens, all cloud cuckoo land 🙄

While I totally agree with everyone saying they shouldn’t have been left, that second paragraph there is hysterical rubbish. Burglars looking for houses with sleeping children in them? Have you lost your mind? They’re looking for empty houses, during the day, to make it as low risk as possible. And kidnap? Have you any idea how much more serious that is than burglary? Burglars don’t want to do that!

Good grief, talk about undermining your argument, which was otherwise fine!

That last sentence leaves me pretty much speechless. Wtaf. Super excited to wake up and find no-one there? Please tell me you don’t have kids.

With every respect, that's madness. You would seriously get babysitters in for a 17 year old? What if, say, they go to university at 17? Will you be going with them?

No, they aren't. It's clear that she was.

Maybe it needed saying, but I really wish I hadn’t just read that. Really upsetting.