Husband left kids alone at home

What the actual fuck!

Obviously both of you are being massively unreasonable. Poor kids. This is not a common parenting mistake.

None of this makes it any better

Years ago, a relative working on the other side of the world made an 8,000 mile trains, planes and automobiles journey to get home quicker. Arriving at 1am, he found the children were all asleep but the wife was nowhere to be seen.
She was poured out of a taxi at 4:30am - by which time most of his plans for the subsequent divorce had been made.

Lots of posters saying their kids would be hysterical if they woke up and there were no parents on the house.

I want to say that it’s not just young kids that would be upset. If I snuck out in the middle of the night and either of my adult (18 &19 years old) children woke up for some reason and needed me (e.g. they felt sick , had a nightmare, etc), and saw I wasn’t home, they would absolutely phone me and ask me where the heck I was (not least because there’s not many places open after 9pm where we live). Not in an abusive, controlling way but a “mum it’s the middle of night are you ok?” way.

How many threads have there been about an adult partner not coming home when they say they will? How much worse for young children to not know where their parent is when he should be home keeping them safe.

@OhDamnYourEyes does H have a drink problem? Is he an alcoholic? Don’t you like his friend? Is that why the friend couldn’t come to your house to drink? Are you Baptist or Jehovahs Witness and don’t allow drink in the house? I mean, please help me understand what happened? Why the friend couldn’t come to your safe house?

I don’t agree with smacking children but I promise you, if you were my children, IDGAF how old you are, I would seriously smack you stupid!

You are both too irresponsible to have children when drinking and partying are more important than your kids. And you shouldn’t even be leaving them for an hour in the daytime to go shopping!

She’s saying she decided they are too young for nighttime but it’s ok in the daytime. Which it’s not. And she obviously hasn’t got through to her husband.
It’s also not like she got 5minutes down the road, thought what am I thinking and returned, she stayed for a party. Her husband obviously did and still does think it’s ok so what now?

Yeah social services should just stand down because “be kind”

@Pumpkinspicelattetime thank you

Yeah, you’re right. Leaving your young children home alone at night so you can go to a party is your pretty common “parenting mistake” that people make 🙄

As far as I’m concerned when it involves the neglect of children and risking their safety/lives, to the point where SS could be involved then it’s a bit more than a simple “parenting mistake”.

I've literally just come home back inside after a fire alarm went off in my block and we all had to evacuate. I think my son, (and all children tbf) would be terrified if alarms went off and he looked around and we weren't there.
Your partner needs to be reminded of the possible things that could happen while he is gone. Hopefully it makes him see sense.

Someone very close to me adopted a primary school aged child recently. Being left in the house alone while his birth “parents” went out on the piss is a huge part of his backstory. It is child neglect. Damn right this needs saying.

But the OP learnt from that and decided she would never do it again so why the need for so many to put the boot in here? Or is your life so empty you take any chance to feel morally superior?

And I'm sure you've done something at some point that has made your child worry.

At what point would he have checked on them? Or if you were home?

I hope someone saw and reports this because he clearly doesn't give a fuck what you think.

And most parents (all parents) will make a mistake at some point. The important thing is they learn from it and do better - which is exactly what the OP has done.

8 and 11 wow what great parents you are...can I ask if the house went on fire who's going to sweep the kids ashes up heaven forbid...Some people should not be parents, selfish or what and tbh the night you've gone out that night your other half is the bad parent selfishly leaving to go drinking as your entitled to a might out but the other times your both horrendous..I'm glad me and my hubby aren't like this with any of our kids

Fucking hell OP

I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted? The OP has explained it was a mistake to leave them last time and had discussed with her husband that it should never happen again until the kids were older. She hasn't set a precedent and she doesn't need to give her head a shake (because she's already fucking done so ages ago). Why is this board filled with semi-literate, nasty posters who like to make shit up in order to talk down to another person?

Most parents don’t need to leave their young children home alone for 2.5 hours at night to work out if they are or aren’t comfortable with it. Most parents wouldn’t even consider it in the first place!

"I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted?"

Loads. None that involved sitting my kids down and asking them if they felt worried at all being alone because mummy and daddy wanted to go on the piss for a few hours. Judgemental is right in this situation.

My husband’s neigbour was home with his kids when his wife was working the 3-11pm shift.

He decided he could go to the pub and he locked the kids in their mobile home.

It went on fire. DH’s friend who was a volunteer fireman, found both little boys bodies at the door where they were trying to get out. Worst night of his life.

Don’t leave young kids home alone, ever and especially not when they’re asleep.

So they could have woken for any reason and found no parent in the house? That's neglect.

I'm guessing all the judgmental, bitchy posters on here have never ever made a decision they later regretted? The OP has explained it was a mistake to leave them last time and had discussed with her husband that it should never happen again until the kids were older. She hasn't set a precedent and she doesn't need to give her head a shake (because she's already fucking done so ages ago).

Why is this board filled with semi-literate, nasty posters who like to make shit up in order to talk down to another person?

You haven’t made it any better op. And they aren’t ok during the day either. Maybe the 11yr old alone if they are mature and sensible, but you can not leave an 11yr old in charge of an 8yr old beyond you going for a shower or maybe nipping next door to the shop or something. I live in a very safe area, I also have an 8yr old I wouldn’t be leaving.

You set a precedent, and this ridiculousness is the result.

I’d be really upset!! Let’s all stop bashing OP. Not saying what she did was right but she clearly said she wasn’t comfortable with it and hasn’t done it again.

The two situations are totally different. In the first scenario the kids were aware they were alone and had a way of contacting their parents. Walking out on your kids during the night is so different! I can’t imagine the kind of hysterics my 7 yr old would be in if he woke up and couldn’t find me!

I would actually kick him out over this. He didn't tell them and he didn't tell you. Unforgivable.

We did check if they were ok with it or feeling worried about it and they were fine, otherwise we wouldn’t have done it.

^^

Re. They were fine with it

😳
This isn't their decision to make.

It's yours.

They are too young.