Husband left kids alone at home

11 & 8 are too young to be left alone, especially at night.

If you feel compelled to phone every 20 minutes then that should tell you your answer-besides which a lot can happen in that time.

Mine are teenagers. I will go out during the day for a couple of hours, typically I get a call asking for something from the shops anyway, but I wouldn't go out drinking or leave them alone at night time.

The 11 year old is borderline during the day-personally I wouldn't-but for a very sensible 11 year old with potentially an older teen for an hour or so in the day would possibly be ok.

The 8 year old is too young to be left alone or left in the charge of another child. Day or night.

Why the hell is everyone having a go at OP for. You do absolutely need to get out when you have young kids or you'd go mad - she had agreed with her husband that it was his turn to look after them but instead he left them on their own!!!
He is the only irresponsible parent here. He had been left in charge of the kids and he chose to go out leaving them on their own.
He is a useless waste of space and OP will never trust him again which is great for him as he knows she will never trust him to look after them again.

I don't think the op is returning to the thread now.

Well you husband has now made sure you can't go out without the children hasn't he?!

Ages aside, the reason for leaving them alone (in both cases) should trigger alarm bells. You both sound utterly immature. Grow up, get a grip on your alcohol/socialising and parent properly.

That being said - this is precisely why I felt that Madeleine McCanns parents should have been sent to prison.

So it's fine to do it when both of you are out not just you ?

They are too young to be left alone especially with you both being out in the drink.

You'd think from this thread that people's homes set on fire frequently!

But no, they're way too young and your dh was extremely irresponsible

You're as bad as he is for doing the same previously.

Too late for the moral high ground!

My 11 and 8 years old are definitely not allowed to go out and play without supervision in the big wide world! My 11 year old does walk to and from school but it’s 5 mins up the road and there is a group of 7/8 of them that all walk together. I wouldn’t let her walk on her own or in the dark.

I’m hoping this is made up because surely no decent parent thinks it’s ok to leave children this age alone at night. It makes it worse because he didn’t even tell them, just put them in bed and then went out. So if one of the dc woke up, they’d find no one in the house. How scary would that be for them? In what universe could anyone possibly think this is ok?

I’m quite a chill parent but I have an 11 year old and 8 year old and there is no way I would leave them alone in the evenings. I’ve left the 11 yr old alone for a couple of hours during the day but never with her sister there because it’s not her responsibility to look after her.

This is why I wash there was a legal limit to leave a child alone

I think 11 (as at secondary school) is fine for maybe an hour or two while parents come home from work

Def not 8

And the eldest def shouldn't be in charge of any children younger

My parents left us at that age, we were never unsafe, but does depend on the children. I always find it strange how kids are allowed to go out to play unaccompanied at that age in the big wide world with strangers but the same patents feel it's inappropriate to leave them unaccompanied in the safety of their own home.

So fine for you both to go out together and leave children alone

But not fine for dh to do the same as you were out

Double standards

You are both wrong to leave children that young alone

Talk about selfish and irresponsible

If you can't get a babysitter (which I'm sure you can't but didn't want to pay)

Then you don't go out

@OhDamnYourEyes they are too young. I hope you’ve learned from this thread.

There isn’t a legal age limit defined in U.K. law that sets out when a child can be left unattended. It relies on a common sense approach from the parents and an assessment based upon the individual child. I personally don’t see a massive issue if these children are mature and happy with the set up. My children are similar age and I’ve let them decide when they feel the time is right. Start off with small periods on their own and it builds their confidence. Are able to lock and I clock doors, understand they don’t answer the door, don’t attempt to cook, have a working phone, know what to do in an emergency etc. This is all good preparation for greater independence in the future.

I don’t think any of those would be particularly likely to happen. How many of those happenings have actually occurred in your home?

I hope these kids tell someone like a teacher who is a mandatory reporter. Someone with authority needs to tell these parents this is completely unfit and unacceptable parenting.

I’m a relaxed parent but I can’t ever imagine leaving an 8 and 11yr old at 10pm to go out drinking with mates. Neither would I leave them whilst I was at a party in the evening.

You are both truly irresponsible, can’t believe there was ever a scenario in which you thought this was a good idea.

Do you think an 8yr old has any chance of getting themselves out of a burning house alone in the dark? Or if one had become unwell, or just woken up and needed you. Imagine how scared when they realised they were all alone.

You both need to really reconsider you approach. Poor kids

Sorry op I think 8 and 11 are too young to be left at home alone. I'm not sure why ur hubby left them to go have a alcoholic drink. That's sounds so unacceptable. Especially at a time like that in the evening anything could be happening/happen.

If he knew u was out why wouldn't he just wait.

I think I'm pretty robust when it comes to parenting - I'm regularly amazed at the horror that is expressed if someone posts about leaving a child in the car while popping into a shop or paying for petrol - but my younger two are the same age as the OP's children and there is no way on earth that I'd leave them alone at night.

I'll leave the 11 year old during the day for a couple of hours, but I won't leave the youngest one with him. We have just now started leaving the 14 year old in charge for very short periods of time - eg one of us is going to be home half an hour after the other one has to go out, or popping out to the local shop - but if we're out in the evening, we still get a babysitter for the youngest, and the older two just do their own thing.

It would almost certainly all be fine - until the time it wasn't.

Electrical fault, break in, the kids getting hungry so putting the grill on and leaving it on, trips, slips, falls, house noises scaring them and one of them deciding to go and get Dad. Even just one of them waking up from a nightmare and there being no adult in the house. Or getting sick, a fever, vomitting. A sudden nose bleed. And no adult. An 8 yo shouldn't have to minister to a sick 11 yo because Dad had to go and get drunk with his mates.

@SheIsStuck23 No, I do get it’s different. But just reading through some of the other replies saying they’d never leave their children at that age just made me think that’s all

They weren’t left overnight they were by themselves for a couple of hours in the evening. I would say an 11 year old was more than capable of that and an 8 year old probably is too. I’m not sure what people think might happen?

None of its ok imo, but actually I think leaving them alone AWAKE when they can get into stuff is possibly worse, so perhaps he saw this as lesser.

However you'd clearly had a chat about it since the first incident, it was clear you weren't on board, I'd be wondering what was so special at his mates house that he couldn't wait until tomorrow or his mate come to his.

Does he have form for punishing you for going out? Or putting drinking ahead of your family?

In a controlled safe way for 2.5 hours, most people would try 30 mins during the day but hey ho, would've gone home earlier if they felt uncomfortable.