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Original poster

Terrified of HIV, please help

167 replies

Terrified12 · 24/11/2023 10:59

I had unprotected sex with someone I was dating in January 2-3 times, however he didn't ejaculate inside me. I have since lost some weight and noticed that I am getting more frequent episodes of genital herpes and it just struck me that it could be due to HIV. I have a test booked for this afternoon, but I feel sick, I'm shaking, constantly feel like I'm going to be sick, can't concentrate on work. I'm 45 and a single mum. Somebody please help.

OP posts:
DysonSphere · 24/11/2023 11:44

It could be another autoimmune disease OP which in itself could make you lose weight. Try not to worry.

jemenfous37 · 24/11/2023 11:43

Ejaculation makes no difference. But if you have herpes, why have unprotected sex? Did you tell the person?

restabove · 24/11/2023 11:41

Call your local GUM clinic and ask to have an appointment with someone who deals with nervous patients. They will be incredibly supportive and kind if you're worried. They might have a chat on the phone. It might help you go through the test more easily.

Chanhedforthis · 24/11/2023 11:39

Fingers crossed for you op.

SM4713 · 24/11/2023 11:28

@Cookerhood Completely missed that- thank you.

cmaalofshit · 24/11/2023 11:24

You are doing the right thing getting the test. As someone upthread said, there are treatments available now which reduce the viral load and keep it at bay.
There could be many other reasons for the weight loss so that should be investigated.

Oganesson118 · 24/11/2023 11:22

It's not like in the early 90s, a lot of people even if they are positive, have an undetectable viral load which I think means they can't pass it on through semen. I think your odds are good but do get the test (and a full STD screen) and hope you get the all clear.

Cookerhood · 24/11/2023 11:19

SM4713 · 24/11/2023 11:14

How old are you OP? Any other symptoms or just the weight loss and herpes flair ups?
I hope it all goes well x

She says 45 in the OP.

Ap24 · 24/11/2023 11:17

Try not to stress. It is incredibly unlikely to be HIV and even if it was, you can live a normal life after a diagnosis.

I do think it would be worth making an appointment with your doctor's whilst waiting for your blood test results. There's lots of things that could be causing your issues, I was run down and lost weight without trying, turned out I was just anemic. Best of luck!

SM4713 · 24/11/2023 11:14

How old are you OP? Any other symptoms or just the weight loss and herpes flair ups?
I hope it all goes well x

Sunshineandflipflops · 24/11/2023 11:12

I don't think there's much point in telling you you should have used protection as that ship has sailed. I hope everything is ok, but even if the test is negative for HIV (which odds are it will be), you will still need treatment for the genital herpes I assume.

Condoms every time unless you have both had the all clear from the sexual health clinic and you are using another form of contraception.

Best of luck.

DaisyDoor · 24/11/2023 11:09

It’s incredibly unlikely to be HIV. You are doing the right thing getting a test but really try not to worry. You should go to the gp though with any unexplained weight loss. There are countless things it could be all more likely than HIV (including worrying about HIV!)

More generally, you really shouldn’t be having unprotected sex and especially not as a herpes carrier.

Original poster
Terrified12 · 24/11/2023 11:04

He wasn't positive that I know of

OP posts:
fishfingersandtoes · 24/11/2023 11:03

Deep breath. You don't know anything yet.
Was he HIV positive?
When you get the test you can deal with the results.

HIV treatments are so different to what they were when we were young, now. Yes you'd be on meds for the rest of your life but you'd live as long as the rest of us, albeit with the need to disclose this information to new sexual partners.

WandaWonder · 24/11/2023 11:03

It would be simpler and easier to go to doctors and not make the error again

Cookerhood · 24/11/2023 11:01

You are doing the right thing getting a test, and once you have the answer knowledge is power.
In the unlikely event that you do have HIV, it is no longer the death sentence it was, medication can reduce virus to undetectable levels and people can live with it for decades.
Good luck.

Mischance · 24/11/2023 11:01

I do not think anyone here can help really - it all hinges on the test. What a worrying time for you. Even if the test is negative, you do need to seek medical advice.

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