Terrified of HIV, please help

@Terrified12 I had that exact same worry after one incident of unprotected sex as a 19 year old in the 80s. AIDS stuff was everywhere and I spent years worrying about it. Never told anyone and worried over anything that could possibly be a symptom. I did eventually confide in my GP and he told me not to get tested as it would affect future chances of getting a mortgage. That's what it was like then!
I eventually stopped stressing about it and settled down and hsd a family, although for a reason that I can't recall, in 2001 I rang a std line in a panic, and they reassured me that 15 or so years on it was highly unlikely i would be HIV positive.
After my marriage broke down some years after that I eventually had full STI screening and was clear on everything.

So I'm glad you have booked a test!
Pps are right in that treatment have come so far these days and it's not the death sentence it so sadly once was.

Because, @WillowCraft they just love to judge. @Bigroundpear's post was indeed a voice of reason and fact

Don't panic OP. In the very unlikely event you did contract HIV then you can live a normal life with medication. However I think this is very unlikely unless you have been told this man was HIV positive. Genital herpes can flare for so many reasons including stress or just having a cold! Stay calm, you've got this.

Why would you presume that? Most people with herpes don't take medication for it.

Thank god for the voice of reason. Why do people with no knowledge bother to comment their made up rubbish?

Hiv spreads much more easily via anal sex. Hence why it's a disease of gay men. It's uncommon in straight people unless they are in a promiscuous culture.

This. You're as big a risk as he was - ALWAYS use condoms!

We teach this to 12 year olds, how come middle aged women are still not getting the message? FML.

Incredibly unlikely to be HIV and with just normal vaginal sex and no ejaculation inside, so so incredibly unlikely.
Worst case scenario, you have it, the treatments are so effective these days that you can live a normal life span and have a normal life! It is not the death sentence it once was.

Of course ejaculation makes a difference - it's spread via semen.
Also using a condom does not affect the risk of passing on herpes. You should avoid sex during an outbreak that is all. Same as you shouldn't kiss someone if you have a cold sore.

Please expect better for yourself. Do not have unprotected casual sex. The fact he was willing to do this is a red flag.

Does he know you well enough to trust your herpes was being suppressed by medication? To know if you had any other STIs? Do you know him well enough to know his STI profile or risks?

'Anal sex is riskier than vaginal sex for HIV transmission' https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/overview/about-hiv-and-aids/how-is-hiv-transmitted/

Either way. OP would be unlucky to catch it in a few sessions. Which isn't to say people should have unprotected sex with new partners of course.

@Terrified12 Please let us know when you get the all clear. x

It is indeed more likely to be passed via anal sex as this activity can cause a lot of tearing to the tissue.

OP - I once went to get a test done years ago after sleeping with a couple of people (unprotected). The doctor turned around and said to me ' You have more chance of winning the lottery than having HIV'. After doing a ton of research, I realised he was right. The odds of contracting HIV are incredibly low especially with the information you have provided.

Firstly, the person in question would first need to have the disease to begin with, and even if they did, they most likely would already be on antiviral meds giving them an undetectable load meaning your chances are practically zero. Secondly, they did not ejaculate which lowers your risk even further (considerably, I would argue). Thirdly, HIV is NOT an easy thing to catch. It's not like Chlamydia which is easily passed on. And finally, even if, and that's a massive IF you do have it, it's just a virus. Honestly, it's not a death sentence anymore. I think even Dr Christian said he would rather have HIV than diabetes due to the advances in medicine.

@Thedm It's definitely more transmissable that way as there's more risk of blood contact.

What? This is one of the most uneducated and idiotic comments I’ve read on this forum.

Just wanted to send my love. Hope you get a negative result x

@ToughTitty HSV2 on the genitals isn't any "nastier" than HSV1 on the face. Both, in their preferred locations, can be aggressive in terms of reoccurrences. But yes, genital HSV1 and facial HSV2 generally mean less reoccurrences.

As an aside, HSV1 now accounts for about 70% of all genital cases recorded by the NHS. OP did what she could and disclosed, but many people are clearly passing on facial infections during oral sex.

Go in, be strong and get the test, you will be fine.

First of all, you have no idea if he was HIV positive.

Secondly, if he was HIV positive, there is a good chance he would be taking medication for it, which when used correctly would make him undetectable which means he would be unable to pass the virus to you.

Thirdly, if he was positive and not undetectable, the chances of you catching it are slim, it is harder than people realise to transmit and a very delicate virus.

Have you been worrying about this since January? The stress of it could well have caused the weight loss.

The life expectancy of somebody with medicated HIV is the same as someone without HIV. If you do have it, which is unlikely, you'll just need to take a single pill everyday, that's all. Don't worry.

only takes once! and you are completely wrong re your first comment.

One tablet a day! Wow how far we've come. Brilliant.

It's unlikely you have HIV @Terrified12 unless you had violent bum sex. You only shagged him a few times. Good idea to get a test but try not to worry. xx