To be so sad to find out I'm having another boy

Get a female dog then?

Pregnant with my next boy and can’t wait! Just praying that his birth goes ok and that he is healthy. So so many people we know have lost children and I cannot imagine giving a crap about their gender. Most of it is stereotyped rubbish anyway. Anecdotally the boys in my family are all very close with their mothers and the girls all have a very independent streak!

@SweetBirdsong sexism innit. You’re right though and it works both ways. Dads of girls get even more pitying head tilts and idiotic ‘you’ll be outnumbered lolz’ comments. It’s so daft.

Mumsnet is heavily female so sexism skews towards wanting girls.

My mother was devastated at having a boy. She wanted two girls. Fast forward 35 years and she’s thick as thieves with my bro, they have common interests and chat every day. Our relationship, on the other hand, is fine but nothing to write home about.

3 Amazing sons here Wouldn't change a thing
All adults now and all look out for me

I’m sorry you are disappointed. It’s hard, I imagine. I have 5 sons but it may have been lovely to have a girl.

Experiencing grief is never unreasonable.

This is so true. Amongst my friends the relationship between the women and their mums is so varied. From no contact to grudging contact to obligation to best friends and everything in between.

The relationship you have with your DC is what you make it. I have a fantastic relationship with both my adult DS's. I have a DD too. I often go for a meal with my youngest son as he lives nearby to me. He comes to dinner with DH and me on Wednesday, lasagne night. I go to see my eldest DS about once every 8 - 10 weeks and he comes down with his gf to see me about 3-4 times a year. He rings me every week. We often send a text to each other. Of all of my DC I see my DD least often.

I do wonder why all gender disappointment occasions are when it's a boy. (In the western world anyway.) Boys are revered in many cultures and many parts of the world, yet in the west people - women mostly - crave a daughter. I really wanted one. I would not have minded if I'd had 5 boys as long as I had at least 1 girl. (I have 2 girls, no boys.)

I know a number of mums with just boys, and some with just girls. The mums with boys always get the 'awww what a shame, bet you'd have liked a girl' comments. The mums of girls never get the same.

A good friend of mine has just had her 3rd daughter - in 5 years. Everyone in both extended families is celebrating these 3 cute princesses! Her cousin has had 2 boys - one in 2019 and one in 2022. She gets pity and head tilting. SO odd!

I can't imagine being disappointed with the sex of a baby that you were sure you'd never be able to have. I would've loved a second child but my God, I'm SO grateful for my only child I wouldn't dare moan about the sex of a second as I'd be too busy counting my blessings!

Very unreasonable lucky to be able to have them.

Its not a mystery. Just read the many vitriolic MIL threads and the ‘I want my own mother around once I give birth but not his’ and you’ll see where the family dynamic goes once that lovely cuddly little boy becomes a man.

Ditto. They just need to grateful and wish for a healthy baby. It's boring.

Primarily because I desperately wanted a boy although I accept others may not feel the same.

I also think the almost ridiculous disparity between the number of parents I know with young boys vs young girls is a factor.

Sometimes I think the power of finding out the sex is rather a bad thing. Gives you more time to think and worry about something you make up in your own mind.

You could have a girl and your relationship could be all you want, it could be shit, it could be meh. Who fucking knows. Same for a boy.

@PremiumRaa
i think your comment “someone to be a friend and confidante” is very misguided and unrealistic.

How many daughters do you actually know who become a ‘friend and confidante’ to their own mums? Firstly I think that’s a huge pressure on a daughter and secondly in reality how often is that true. Sometimes yes of course but in my experience it’s certainly not true. I can’t think of any of my friends (myself included) or family members for whom this is even half true.

Many of my friends (myself included) have strained relationships with their mums (not all but a lot) and in fact are closer to their dads. And even if it’s not strained it just ‘normal’.

Having a daughter is no guarantee of some super special friendship or bond. You can have that (or not!) with either sex.

You get flamed on here for saying it but if I'd had 2 boys I'd have had a 3rd to have a girl. I think it would take to 4 or 5 before I'd have given up.

I have both now. Neither are particularly the stereotype of their sex but they are different and the relationship I have with them is different. It's ok to want this.

It’s absolutely ok to feel like this. It’s way more common than people think. It doesn’t mean you hate the baby that’s born or feel sad about it being one gender or the other- it’s more about the missing the one you didn’t have.
I have three girls and for the youngest, I went for a secret (no one else knew at all, not even my partner) early scan at 16 weeks. I even asked the lady scanning me to not tell me but to write boy or girl on a piece of paper and put it into an envelope for me to look at with my partner later that day. I opened it as soon as I got into the car. I knew that I would need to find out on my own and to come to terms with the fact I’d never have a son- I knew this would be my last baby. And I was right. By the time it had come round to the 20 week scan, I was ok with it. She’s now 8 and the sweetest funniest thing in the world. But it doesn’t stop me having a picture in my head of a little blond haired blue eyed little boy called Eric

I know what you mean. Why does MN hate boys so much?

Why on earth should she?

It’s a forum where you talk about things you want to talk about, and express things that are bothering you that you can’t/wouldn’t say in your own life.

You do get to scroll past if you don’t like it

You don’t get to silence people

I guess when I was having my youngest I hoped at first it would be a girl as company for my outnumbered daughter. But she became even more outnumbered and was very upset at the time. But having another son turned out to be a really great thing, he gets on wonderfully well with his much older sister (they have many things in common) and his brothers and with me. A friend was here one day and absolutely fascinated by the dynamics between several brothers. I love my daughter, I love my sons. In the end I’m just glad they are all such happy people.

I now have a wonderful son and actually feel a little sorry for my friend who had a girl

Really? Why?

Totally agree. Imagine if dads were posting here saying “Just found out we are having another girl and I am so disappointed”

As someone still waiting for IVF, please appreciate the joy of two healthy children and stop being ridiculous.

I haven’t read all the posts, but what can you do with a girl that you can’t do with boys?! People are individuals, babies are usually pretty generic at the beginning (cry, sleep, feed, poo).

but that is just stereotypes

i get on well with my mum but we’ve never been the girly lunch/shopping/spa days types. My mum is just not that person.

my sister married into a large family of all boys and they are/were extremely close to their parents.