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Telling someone you are too busy for a visit but they turned up anyway

310 replies

Minniliscious · 19/11/2023 15:10

Just wanting to get some more views on this as I am feeling really bad right now.

DH and I booked Friday as leave to get things done around the house etc …. Car battery had gone flat and DH arranged for a neighbour to help with this. I was decluttering and deep cleaning ready for Christmas and making cupcakes for DS Christmas fayre at school. Just very busy all day with planned stuff to do.

A neighbour that I bump into now and then (wouldn’t say we know each other that well but are friendly) text me to say that she was bored and could she pop round for a cuppa and a chat (she had seen the car outside). I text back “Sorry but really not convenient today! We’ve booked the day off to declutter etc but let me know when you’re next free” I forgot about it and just carried on. An hour later, there’s a knock at the door and it’s her! She was like “Hi put the kettle on you sound like you need a break” I asked if she had got my text and she went “yeah but you’re not out out, you’re around so I won’t stay long.” I really didn’t know what to say , I was speechless. We walked through to the kitchen, I put the kettle on but suddenly felt really irritated and said “actually I really can’t stop for a cuppa, this is the only day I have to get things done. I did tell you that?” So with that, she huffily got up and said she wish she’d hadn’t bothered! I ended up apologising to her and saying I’d be in touch.

The more I think about it though, I just can’t believe someone would have the audacity to even do that? Was I being unreasonable by practically throwing her out??

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/11/2023 15:22

and there was the time WHILST I WAS IN THE BATH she just walked into my house. I called out 'in the bath!' and she still offered to come and chat sitting next to me on the loo..😳
Zero boundaries. ..

😳

Oh my god.

Greenshake · 19/11/2023 15:22

Voted that you were unreasonable due to your apology. Why did you say sorry?!

LylaLee · 19/11/2023 15:21

The only way this would have been better is if you hadn't let her in at all, but I'm sure most people would be flustered at the cheeky fuckery.

Better than a handwringing thread about 'I tell her I'm busy but she always comes anyway, and stays 11 hours.'

Rjahdhdvd · 19/11/2023 15:21

Well done for saying no! How odd just to ignore you saying it wasn’t a good time

Mamato29192 · 19/11/2023 15:20

Yanbu

Gymmum82 · 19/11/2023 15:20

No. You told her you were busy. She’s not even a good friend. If it was your best mate and something had happened and she needed a listening ear then fair enough but you’d said you were busy. Good on you for sticking to those boundaries

cadburyegg · 19/11/2023 15:20

YANBU

I had this with a friend once. She texted me asking if she could come over and I said no because I'd had a tricky day and night with ds1 who was about 3 months old at the time. She acknowledged the message but turned up anyway and banged on the door. I was settling ds1 down so didn't answer, so she went and spoke to my neighbour, came back and shouted through the letterbox asking why I wasn't answering. 😫

Wilkolampshade · 19/11/2023 15:19

No, not at all.
Used to have a neighbour like this.. She once popped up at the window and seeing we were at Sunday lunch with my elderly parents STILL knocked on the door for a 'won't stay long' cuppa..and there was the time WHILST I WAS IN THE BATH she just walked into my house. I called out 'in the bath!' and she still offered to come and chat sitting next to me on the loo..😳
Zero boundaries. ..

Aquamarine1029 · 19/11/2023 15:19

Why you apologised is beyond me. What an absolute cow she is. Very well done for having her leave, and if it were me, I would be blocking her number immediately. I have zero tolerance for people like that.

Thursdayusername · 19/11/2023 15:17

Yes, people do do that. No, you did the right thing by asking her to leave. Good boundaries!

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