Telling someone you are too busy for a visit but they turned up anyway

Yes. I agree. Can you have a word with my teenagers please!? 😂

@EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon someone like this poster thrives on drama and no doubt regularly shrieks “go NC” on threads and indeed in RL!

A version of Christmas Carol will be on TV in about 20 min. So some of you can catch up on how to demonstrate you really don't care for other people.

Yanbu. She was rude

Blimey. Although I agree she was rude, surely blocking's a bit harsh.

YANBU. One of my pet hates is when people assume that because you're at home, you're available to them. Even if you're NOT doing anything productive, you're perfectly entitled to have a day in front of the TV in your PJs every now and then if it's what you need.

Surely there is a middle ground, no? not wanting people to chat to you whilst in the middle of doing stuff which you need to concentrate on, doesnt mean you want to live like a lonely hermit. I love spending time with my friends but I like to give them my full attention when with them and really chat about important stuff (rather than gossip or fluff topics)- not when I'm distracted by having to do other stuff.

Maybe she did. But if so, surely it was incumbent on her to agree a mutually convenient time to talk, and to assess whether there was someone else she could talk to instead because OP was busy?

Not the point of the thread but I'm remembering my childhood in the 60s and 70s.

My mum's friends would often just 'stop by' for a quick cuppa and a chat. My mum would be thrilled and make them a cuppa and my mum would carry on ironing or cooking whilst her friend would chat away.

Similarly, when we'd be on our way to the shops we'd pop in to a friend's house and we'd be welcomed whilst said friend was also busy ironing or cooking etc...

These visits would be barely half an hour and the chat consisted of gossip or advice or unburdening.

Strikes me , now, as much better than how we live now... solitary, anxious, fretful and disconnected from the real world.

Just an opinion.

This would be my idea of hell in earth. I can't stand people just "popping round", never mind popping round after clearly being told not to. How rude !
You did the right thing Op, people need to learn boundaries

I don’t answer the door in this type of situation. Certain types of people try to push boundaries if they need a listening ear.

You were not wrong.

She is rude and simply couldn't care less whether it suited you or not.

She wanted an earhole, any earhole.

Take this opportunity to mute and archive her number.

Cut her out of your life, she is not and never will be a proper friend. No boundaries, no self awareness and cannot read and comprehend a text message.

If she'd wanted support or a kind ear or had been having some kind of crisis that would have been one thing but she should have said that to the OP.

If someone had said to me they really needed help and support I'd drop everything for them. This is not what happened here. The neighbour just took the piss because she was bored and imposed herself on the OP and her OH. She assumed it suited the OP because it suited her.

To turn up when you've been explicitly told you're not welcome is unbelievably intrusive and entitled.

YANBU and it's so refreshing to read about a Mumsnetter who didn't 'freeze', and couldn't say anything because they don't like 'confrontation'.

I admire you for kicking her out! This happened to us in April as we were packing our house up for an international move just 2 days later. Someone kept messaging me to see me before we left country (not a good friend..just a casual acquaintance) I told her that I was sorry but I barely had time to spend with our kids. She showed up at our home. Home was completely in boxes and we were directing the moving company on what boxes for the shipping container. She stood in the middle of my living room with hands on hips and said..well if the mountain won't come to mohammad..mohammad will come to the mountain. My normally lovely husband told her to get out. That she was incredibly rude and we were busy as we told her. She then called our daughter crying..and needless to say she is now blocked.

She was being really cheeky. I wonder if she’s very lonely, or maybe struggles with social cues. Neither of those things make it your fault that she ignored your clear and polite message, but perhaps it explains it. I don’t think you were wrong to be firm that it wasn’t a good time.

😄

no probs and cheers@Guesswho88

Why would you ever agreed to her popping around if all she does is talk about herself and you can't get a word in? Value your time!

I think you've misunderstood @idealgift she was saying you shouldn't have let her in in the first place - which is what a few others have said.

oh - ok but you seemed sad about it on the other thread but good to know

I won’t pop around again 😉

You need to stop apologising to rude people and then worrying about it! SHE was rude first so she got exactly what she deserved. So, she huffed and puffed- so what? let her throw her little tantrum- the world isnt going to stop revolving. I dont imagine you're the first person to be sick of her shit and you wont be the last. Maybe if enough people started reinforcing their perfectly reasonable boundaries she'd have no choice but to learn to respect them.

Think of it as doing her a favour OP!

I’m delighted you had the nouse to tell her no, how dare she say you sounded like you needed a break?! She isn’t a mate, she’s barely an acquaintance, with luck she’ll take a permanent huff.