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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think encouraging people to send chocolate secretly is not a good idea?

259 replies

wokbun · 17/11/2023 11:31

So Cadbury do this thing where you can send chocolate anonymously to someone. AIBU to think this is not something to be encouraged? I'd be disturbed receiving unexpected chocolate to my home address.

OP posts:
wokbun · 18/11/2023 07:20

WandaWonder · 18/11/2023 01:39

Do you not open your fridge incase the little man that switches the fridge light on and off jumps out and scares you?

Of course I fucking open my fridge. What's that got to do with this. There are clearly others who feel the same as me, and yes you might disagree. But others are uncomfortable with the idea of Cadburys advertising a service to mail things to other people anonymously.

OP posts:
wokbun · 18/11/2023 07:17

haXXor · 17/11/2023 23:35

There's apparently a box to tick that says "to the best of my knowledge, no dogs live at this address". Of course, that ticky box will do nothing to stop wrongdoers. I could order a monster bar of Bournville for every house on the street that has a dog, tick that box anyway, and pay for it with a pre-paid anonymous debit card (e.g. https://instacard.uk/) over a VPN. No fingerprints on the packaging, no DNA evidence, no CCTV at the Post Office showing me post the parcels, and the perpetual barking is stopped permanently. It's a good thing that I loathe animal cruelty.

Before you ask who would be warped enough to even think of something like that, my employer pays me to think like this.

Edited

Exactly! Sure the vast majority of people aren't going to misuse it.

OP posts:
wokbun · 18/11/2023 07:14

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:26

but anyone can send anything anonymously any time they want?!?!

I know! I just don't think Cadbury should be advertising it as a jolly laugh

OP posts:
wokbun · 18/11/2023 07:13

myotherkidisacassowary · 17/11/2023 21:42

I think I must have lived a very unexciting life because it wouldn’t occur to me that this could be sinister 🤣

Trust me. It's not exciting to have a stalker

OP posts:
Whiteday · 18/11/2023 06:23

But anyone could send chocolate anonymously anyway!

Great marketing ploy by cadburys

Growingupinthe80s · 18/11/2023 06:18

It is not good for anyone with a dog that may get hold of it.

Copperoliverbear · 18/11/2023 06:12

I think you are over thinking it, you'd know that it was from Cadbury's and you know about the advert and you'd know that they must have your address.
I don't see the problem

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 18/11/2023 02:01

WandaWonder · 18/11/2023 01:39

Do you not open your fridge incase the little man that switches the fridge light on and off jumps out and scares you?

I do not believe in fairy tales. I acknowledge and fear the reality of male violence.

Your comment tells me that you lack any shred of empathy.

Precipice · 18/11/2023 01:47

WandaWonder · 18/11/2023 01:39

Do you not open your fridge incase the little man that switches the fridge light on and off jumps out and scares you?

What an unnecessarily unpleasant and belittling comment towards women who are saying they'd be creeped out by an anonymous 'gift'.

WandaWonder · 18/11/2023 01:39

Do you not open your fridge incase the little man that switches the fridge light on and off jumps out and scares you?

StockpotSoup · 18/11/2023 01:28

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/11/2023 22:30

With all those companies, the sender's name is on the little card with the package.

If they fill in the details.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 18/11/2023 00:53

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:52

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

snd cadburys sending a bar of chocolate (which will have branding all over it & marketing stuff.

IS NOT STALKING

And actually I have, yes. Complete with the 'I like your dress, but I prefer the blue one. Change in to your xyz I far prefer it & shit like that.

the police were unable to do anything about it until he attacked me.

Doesn't mean I'd freak out about a bar of chocolate.

I was abused whilst being then-undiagnosed autistic. All the social skills you have to mitigate abuse, I don't have. All the social skills you have to detect and avoid an abuser, I don't have.

The researchers found that the women who screened positive for autism had nearly three times the odds of having experienced sexual abuse as those who did not screen positive https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/girls-autism-high-risk-sexual-abuse-large-study-says/

I am very likely to be abused again if I date again, because I am autistic.

Any kind of unexpected inexplicable thing happening in my home, my safe place, my fortress that I have built to keep everyone else out, will have me lose my shit. Especially if that thing looks like a sexual overture from a man. A gift of chocolate is a standard sexual overture. That overture sent anonymously, I'm going to be looking over my shoulder for weeks and scared to go out.

"Is it the guy from the chippy, he knows where I live and he never stops flirting. Shit, he's married, his wife will go spare if it's him. Or maybe the guy who cut my hedge? What about the gas fitter? ..."

Sad child sitting in the dark

Girls with autism at high risk of sexual abuse, large study says

Many women with autism or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder report having been sexually abused as a child.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/girls-autism-high-risk-sexual-abuse-large-study-says

ThinWomansBrain · 18/11/2023 00:42

lap90 · 17/11/2023 23:45

There's nothing to be disturbed about. Anyone can send anything to your address and anyone else's. Anyone who knows about the Cadbury secret santa knows how hard it is to actually get one and from what i've seen online, most people are just after free chocolate and are sending them to their own address.

Yep, that was me, I sent it to my cat.

ThinWomansBrain · 18/11/2023 00:39

if you think someone might be alarmed by this, send some to yourself😀

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 18/11/2023 00:34

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:39

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

im a woman, I live alone. Please don't tar us all with your paranoia brush.

one delivery of flowers & you worry about having a stalker??

id be curious who the gift was from. I might hope it's the tall dark handsome stranger I met in the pub/on the train, whilst accepting it's probably one of my friends, or the neighbour who fancies a leg over

but flowers, wine, chocolate... deliver away.

As another woman who lives alone I agree - I don't want to be tarred with the paranoia brush either.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 18/11/2023 00:32

Deathwillbebutapause · 17/11/2023 21:27

I'd bin it if no idea who'd sent it or what their intentions were.

There was a man in rural New Zealand who died after drinking wine left for him in his letterbox. It had been laced with weedkiller. The murderer has not been found.

You are quite correct, but I very much doubt the wine had been sent directly from the company who made it in that case.

Cadbury are hardly going to take requests for poison to be added to their chocolate pre delivery!!

So many paranoid people on MN - I would hate to live your lives.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:52

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/11/2023 23:44

Have you ever answered the phone to hear a total stranger tell you how he plans to rape and murder you? Had an ex still sending you harassing emails six months after breaking up?

Stalking is no fucking joke.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

snd cadburys sending a bar of chocolate (which will have branding all over it & marketing stuff.

IS NOT STALKING

And actually I have, yes. Complete with the 'I like your dress, but I prefer the blue one. Change in to your xyz I far prefer it & shit like that.

the police were unable to do anything about it until he attacked me.

Doesn't mean I'd freak out about a bar of chocolate.

lap90 · 17/11/2023 23:45

There's nothing to be disturbed about. Anyone can send anything to your address and anyone else's. Anyone who knows about the Cadbury secret santa knows how hard it is to actually get one and from what i've seen online, most people are just after free chocolate and are sending them to their own address.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/11/2023 23:44

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:39

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

im a woman, I live alone. Please don't tar us all with your paranoia brush.

one delivery of flowers & you worry about having a stalker??

id be curious who the gift was from. I might hope it's the tall dark handsome stranger I met in the pub/on the train, whilst accepting it's probably one of my friends, or the neighbour who fancies a leg over

but flowers, wine, chocolate... deliver away.

Have you ever answered the phone to hear a total stranger tell you how he plans to rape and murder you? Had an ex still sending you harassing emails six months after breaking up?

Stalking is no fucking joke.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:42

LadyMacB · 17/11/2023 23:34

But surely you can see that being able to pin it down to a locale of several hundred thousand people will greatly assist identifying the person who sent it. And it’s not like people can travel to another locale to post it there, can they.

@LadyMacB

no absolutely not, no travelling nope!

😂😂😂

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:39

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/11/2023 22:35

I would honestly lose my shit if someone sent anonymous flowers. I'd be agonising trying to think of who it could be and paranoid that I had a stalker.

If it had a card on saying who the sender was, I'd find a jug for them.

It's the anonymity that's scary, especially for a woman living alone.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

im a woman, I live alone. Please don't tar us all with your paranoia brush.

one delivery of flowers & you worry about having a stalker??

id be curious who the gift was from. I might hope it's the tall dark handsome stranger I met in the pub/on the train, whilst accepting it's probably one of my friends, or the neighbour who fancies a leg over

but flowers, wine, chocolate... deliver away.

haXXor · 17/11/2023 23:35

ExplodingSmittens · 17/11/2023 22:45

The DDog chews most of our mail. If she got hold of a bar of Chocolate she's probably eat that.

I be fuming if the gift was anonymous as I wouldn't know where to send the rather large Vet's Bill.

There's apparently a box to tick that says "to the best of my knowledge, no dogs live at this address". Of course, that ticky box will do nothing to stop wrongdoers. I could order a monster bar of Bournville for every house on the street that has a dog, tick that box anyway, and pay for it with a pre-paid anonymous debit card (e.g. https://instacard.uk/) over a VPN. No fingerprints on the packaging, no DNA evidence, no CCTV at the Post Office showing me post the parcels, and the perpetual barking is stopped permanently. It's a good thing that I loathe animal cruelty.

Before you ask who would be warped enough to even think of something like that, my employer pays me to think like this.

The Security Mindset - Schneier on Security

https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2008/03/the_security_mi_1.html

LadyMacB · 17/11/2023 23:34

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:27

And???

But surely you can see that being able to pin it down to a locale of several hundred thousand people will greatly assist identifying the person who sent it. And it’s not like people can travel to another locale to post it there, can they.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:30

wokbun · 17/11/2023 21:08

@IncompleteSenten this is my point - like you saidThat said, I think if someone who has been stalked or is being stalked or someone who's fled an abusive ex etc gets it they are going to be bloody scared and upset and worried that the person has found them

@wokbun

given it's hugely advertised you'd need to be living under a rock not to have seen something about this. So I don't think the vast majority of people would be scared or upset.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 17/11/2023 23:27

wokbun · 17/11/2023 21:02

It will have a post mark on it of the locale in which it is posted.

And???