Why do my expensive-ish curtains look crap

Nearly splattered my sherry out then... California Crossroads, by any chance?

@Sickofhousestuff , did you measure your window and the bought curtains less than that measurement? You are meant to buy curtains that are the size of your window, then when you get 2 in the pack you have the double width needed to have nice full curtains with good folds. I think you have a width and a half there at the most. Unless they are dress curtains and never close, they'd be ok then

I doubt you are hopeless actually , and I don’t say that lightly, some folks really are, they simply can’t see it. You’re clearly trying and can see when something is wrong, that’s important, but it takes experience to be honest, learning from your mistakes, understanding how to do things, when to match , when to tone, when to clash. I suspect actually you’re ok, just learning.

Oh OP, I know how it feels to try so hard to get the right curtains and then be disappointed. Twenty-three years ago when we moved into our current house, I spent an absolute mint on made to measure John Lewis living room curtains (bay window, weird measurements) in a striped fabric carefully picked to go with our furniture. As soon as they were put up, I hated them. Beautifully made, great quality fabric, but they hung a full inch above the bay window sill and they did NOT work with the furniture after all. Small fabric swatches are deceptive.

Life got in the way of replacing them until a couple of years back, and I’m very happy with what we now have.

I suspect your problem is, firstly your curtains need steaming/ironing to get the creases out, and secondly you need some sort of gather at the top. Not a full gather, but an even pull such that you get a finished effect on the tape. Lastly, the tape looks a little narrow at the top which runs the risk of looking cheap (although I’m sure correct finishing will sort this one out). For the future, deeper curtain headings always look more expensive.

Does the back of your curtains have a header tape that look like this?

It will have been sewn on with the end of the header tape just turned over & under

Very carefully, on each end from underneath the folded header tape find the 3 loose strings, circled red.

At each end of your curtain gently gather so you can hold about 2-3 inches of each of the three strings and tie a double knot. Don’t pull so hard you start unravelling the other end of the header tape.

Do the same at the other end of the curtain.

Once each end is knotted, then pull these 3 tied strings to gather the curtains . I hook the other knotted end over a door handle to give me some tension.

Pull and push your gathers until the curtain you are holding is half the width of your window.

Tie a slip knot when at the correct width - so means you can undo if wrong or when you wash them.

Then even out the gathers & add plastic number 9 shaped curtain hooks under the entire middle loop, circled green

My philosophy as well

It’s a real learning curve with this type of thing & tricky even at best of times imo.

If you want to raise them higher check if you’ve got your hooks sitting in the top row on the header tape. There’s usually 3 rows - it won’t raise them much higher but you can experiment at least a bit to see.

IMO curtains are expensive & patterns & longer look better to hide imperfections.

To make yours look better if you fitted a coloured blind inside (with a pattern or a colour at least) it would detract your eye from the curtains which would then look like a nice contrast either side.

Unfortunately I think that's the issue, I've bought £100 curtains which have been very nice but look nowhere near as good as the £1000 ones I have. Proper made to measure are fitted and gathered just so with weights, no creases and then stay looking really good. I think some of the tips here will make you feel better, but they're not going to look the same as more expensive ones, that said you've not spent £1000 on curtains which is madness really.

Gather and press. You can use small coins to weight the bottom. Put with one in each corner, you can usually wiggle a coin into the hemline where it joins the side seam

You haven’t said what width you bought compared to the window. I can’t tell for sure if that’s part of the problem or if it’s an optical illusion in the photo.

Your DH has no aesthetic sense. You can live with his awful choices or challenge them. A roman blind and long ‘dress’ curtains (basic pair as not having to cover the full window) would look great.

I’m sorry OP but they aren’t especially nice curtains and look cheap. That’s why they don’t look good. Firstly I dislike short curtains and think a Roman blind looks far classier if you can’t do long curtains. They do need to be made to measure and properly hung but someone who knows what they’re doing. A pinch pleat looks far more expensive and having them on a curtain runner rather than on hoops.

Unfortunately the overall image is akin to the radiator being a pair of knee high socks and the too short curtains looking like a skirt!

If the curtains were longer they would block the radiator but at that length they need to be less full.

As said before, iron, gather your heading tape and it looks like you have a joining seam in the middle of your window so I would swap the curtains round so the seam is near the wall which will look much better.

@RedorangeyellowBLACK 's solution, if you can have useable long curtains, is a good one!

Try the hack with a toilet roll tube between each gather. Made all the difference to how well mine hung.

We have massive windows and radiators underneath (I will never buy a house with either again as they’ve been a right pain in the arse).
Over the 25 years since we have lived here we have tried all kinds of window dressings. I’ve concluded that short curtains just look awful on our windows and didn’t want just blinds so we’ve found the perfect combo (for us) of wooden venetian blinds and to the floor curtains, which we never draw but they dress the window nicely and take away the starkness of blinds alone.

If you can't have curtains to the floor get a blind.

I would treble up the amount of rings and put the curtain hooks in the very bottom part of the 3inch tape at the top of the curtain as this will give them more structure. Give them a light iron and they will hang nicely. If still not the look you’d like then gather a bit until our happy. They are nice curtains, just need a bit of jujjing

I would disagree with that. All my curtains are made for me by a local lady. I have just had four very long and wide curtains (including a pair for French doors) made by her with interlining, weights etc for £240. The fabric and lining were £400 from a 'seconds' mill shop. So while they weren't cheap, you don't have to spend an absolute fortune to get fabulous, long, weighty curtains.

I wouldn't buy curtains from JL any more than I'd buy furniture from JL.