Or is he - moving costs after relationship end.

Ive blocked all his email addresses, his phone number and the WhatsApp and Facebook and I’ve deleted instagram.

I do feel guilty about what if he needs to contact me in an emergency or somebody dies or something but I just need some peace.

Having a quick sob in the kitchen before I have to pull myself together and collect the kids.

Thank you

I’ve sent him half. I really can’t be fucked with this any more. How do I block email addresses on gmail? I’ll tell the kids to block him later. Fucking twat.

He can half the money out of the joint account and then he can just fuck off.

you’ll be pleased to know I’ve found my anger again @AutumnFroglets

Oh, and he's just sent a long email about the finances.

I don't give a shit anymore. Here's a copied and pasted version.

"Keen to get this resolved so it’s all done before Christmas if that’s okay with you? Start 2024 with a clean slate.

The only outstanding thing from me was the repayment of whatever funds you want to send my way from the joint account (where funds were about £730 when I left the house) and the energy credit £120ish when I left the house).

In terms of the white goods, your question has badly affected me, and I need to be able to say my piece. You asked whether you had received half of the £1,800 income from the apartment being rented out in XXX. Details matter to us both, so from my perspective there are several inaccuracies wrapped up in your comment.

Firstly, the apartment was not rented out for £1,800. I received £1,478 for it. Of that, £680 went on the mortgage, £120 on council tax, around £200 on utilities. So around £480 was “profit” on which I’ve been taxed so, take a quarter off and the income is down to £380.

Each month since we’ve had one (four years?) I’ve paid at least £100 more than an equal split into our joint account; paid for Airbnb trips, meals out, treats & experiences for the boys, all of the petrol for trips to Cornwall, Wales, Gatwick, Oxford and so on, all the Oatly, Netflix, Now TV, Amazon, Disney, Spotify, Nintendo, Duolingo subscriptions, and offered the use of my apartment to our family to use cost-free when there were gaps.

I feel I’ve absolutely done more than my fair share of paying for things that had been used by all four of us and taken on the responsibility of paying for a share of your children’s needs without question or hesitation. I’ve never asked to borrow money from you (or your dad) to pay off debts, I’m not interested in trying to make any claim on any property that you seemed to think I was entitled to. Fairness is important to me, so your perspective on whether you’d received a share of my income from the apartment really did cut very deeply.

My emotional response to the comment has kept me awake at night multiple times, so I needed to share my thoughts to deal with it. That’s all. Whatever you do about it is up to you, but at least you know where I came from.

With genuine lifelong affection for you and the boys."

The message was a location marker from a lay-by where we had once had a bit of a fumble in the back of his car. I don't know why I looked. It felt like game playing to leave it unread.

I've blocked him now. It's not good for me mentally to be dealing with all this. I want to be feeling good and have energy and joy for my kids. Instead I just feel numb.

Ah ok didn’t know that. Not that it matters. I don’t want to read it anyway.

I just feel so tired. I’m sleeping ok (when the kids aren’t here - my eldest DS has ASD and is a terrible sleeper) but just feel drained. Being winter doesn’t help!

Does that work, if you read whilst on airplane mode and then come out before turning it off? I assumed it still registered as being read?

@NotLactoseFree his whatsapp chat is already archived which really does help - it does pop up with a small 1 next to the archive it when he messages, but as you say you have to look and no notifications pop up etc.

Haha love the unicorns and rainbows idea! I'll have a ponder myself as to what would annoy him the most. Good distraction from other feelings!

Oh yes the pretend introverted, introspective men that they are...

His last message made me laugh out loud. Talking about how he was the now the man he always wanted to be, a real role model for my children.

Half the time he didn't even make an effort to hide how much they annoyed him!!

And gah he has sent me another text! (I only know because I was going to check exactly how he had phrased his own brilliance at role modelling and then spotted he has sent a message). Fuck it, I'm not reading those tonight. Although if I don't I know I'll have it hanging over me in the morning.

I tell you what would drive him the most insane. Never, ever reading those messages. Leaving the two little ticks grey for ever and ever and ever and ever...

Oh you didn't make me feel worse. The tears were good and it really helped for you to point out that his message is all about him and in his interests and not at all in mine. I can't quite believe I didn't see that - I was too caught up in whether or not to reply to it!

I think I'm too exhausted to feel angry today. I just feel worn down by it all.

DS1 is still contacting him so I'll have a chat with him when he is back from his dad's. I check their phones regularly so can see any contact that has been happening between them - that's how I found out that he had contacted DS1 about the TV stuff when I read those messages.

Anyway, finally home after a long day. Stupidly put some washing on which I now need to wait to finish. I should have just gone to bed and snuggled up in my electric blanket with my book. Maybe I'll do that anyway and just get up to sort the washing out when it beeps.

Thanks for all your wise words. They really are amazing and I'm so thankful to everyone here and the support and advice.

Yes, very!!!

His last text to me doesn't require a reply, no questions asked by him (just a monologue about himself!) so will happily just not respond any further. It's always him that initiates the contact though - it had been almost a week since the last message and I was beginning to feel a bit less anxious. Maybe blocking is the better thing to do. At least it saves me having to read what he is writing. Even if I thumbs up or don't reply, it still upsets me to read it because it usually includes how much I have hurt him and what a brilliant person he is. I can't take much more of that.

The key thing I'm noticing in your texts is that he's very self absorbed, lacking in empathy and very much the victim. Men like this love women like you because you tend to feel an over inflated sense of responsibility and overcompensate for perceived selfishness or other failings, often as a result of the sort of upbringing and scapegoating you've described in your past

Blimey, that really hit home.

I thought I might recognise a narcissist seeing as my mum is one and so is my ex husband. Maybe I did and the familiarity kept me hooked in.