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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister has started shoplifting

138 replies

Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy · 16/11/2023 19:58

She says it happened by accident at first, her young dc was in the front of the shopping trolley, her large bag in the actual trolley. Some items forgotten under the bag as she went through the cashier bit, loading the other things and rushing about, trying to pack and stop her dc from messing about/facing a tantrum. She says she realised afterwards that there were items under her bag, she said this happened a couple of times and now she can’t help but casually now put some things under the bag, face creams, meat etc. She’s a professional, degree educated early 40’s woman, they are ok financially but finding things harder. What will happen to her if caught? Why can’t she seem to stop now? She’s never been in trouble for anything in her life, it’s very out of character for her. She claims if caught, she’ll say it’s by accident and she didn’t realise when sorting her dc out.

OP posts:
Frostine · 16/11/2023 20:35

It probably gives her a buzz to think she has ' gotten away ' with it or she has a freebie but it's stealing pure and simple. If found out she could be banned from the shop which is obviously a big inconvenience . She is also putting up prices for the rest of us, so thanks for that.

TowerRaven7 · 16/11/2023 20:30

Sounds like Kleptomania which is a mental health disorder. I’d advise her to get some counseling for this.

MargaretThursday · 16/11/2023 20:28

Where I work we have a radio that's connected to the local shops.
When a known shoplifter comes into town, they're passing information all the way down the line.
There's a reasonable chance she's already known, and they're waiting for her to do a certain size one so they can pounce and increase the likelihood of prosecution.
The police are also on the radio and they do act, and work with the shops to catch prolific ones.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/11/2023 20:25

Apparently it's a big thing among middle aged middle class women for a cheap
Thrill. So odd.

If she claims she didn't t notice it was under her bag they can go and look at the cctv and. Disprove her. She should be v careful

Grimupnorth442 · 16/11/2023 20:24

Nah no excuse she deserves to get caught and fined or whatever. It's skanks like that, that contribute to food price hikes. I'd advise her to stop or you'd tell the store and police.

Sunday12 · 16/11/2023 20:22

jemenfous37 · 16/11/2023 20:20

She is a thief. You know this. Are you going to do anything about it, or will you remain complicit?
Granted, shoplifting may not seem a big crime in the scheme of things, but criminality is criminality, particularly as she does not need to shoplift

Please don’t think of reporting her

jemenfous37 · 16/11/2023 20:20

She is a thief. You know this. Are you going to do anything about it, or will you remain complicit?
Granted, shoplifting may not seem a big crime in the scheme of things, but criminality is criminality, particularly as she does not need to shoplift

MagnoliatheMagnificent · 16/11/2023 20:19

Our local Aldi check under your bags in your trolley before you pack, they say they have a massive problem with shoplifting. It's only a matter of time before she gets caught.
Is she ok otherwise? Menopause messes up a lot of feelings, it may be that she's going through some weird changes in her body/brain. I'm menopausal and have weirdly felt the urge to steal something a few times recently but have resisted the urge! Kind of weird though.

Superscientist · 16/11/2023 20:19

I was once in a shop and there was a guy who removed most of the contents of 2 shelves into a large bag I could have fitted in was about half full. There was a voice in the sky saying we have you in CCTV. None of the staff approached him I believe something similar had happened weeks earlier and the staff member got a load of verbal abuse from the conversations I heard whilst there.

If she does it in the same way every time it is likely to be noticed and I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't do anything until they can demonstrate that it's habitual.

How is she doing generally? It's not unheard of for shoplifting to crop up alongside mental health conditions/ when a person is struggling mentally they can start behaving in uncharacteristic ways. There was a woman's hour episode in the summer about women with obsessive shoplifting. It was illuminating and might be worth a listen

WandaWonder · 16/11/2023 20:10

With CCTV everywhere it would be weird if she is not taught, criminals are getting braver but hopefully staff are too

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 16/11/2023 20:10

But she'll go on their 'watch list' and probably have security guards closely following her around every time she goes into the shops.

They won't care if she's a degree-educated professional; to them, she's just another thief.

Not the kind of experience most honest shoppers would relish.

Kinneddar · 16/11/2023 20:09

Shops are getting wise to this now. They might be happy to let her pay but they might be just as likely to call the Police. She could easily end up with a (deserved) criminal record.

whatevss · 16/11/2023 20:07

Nothing will happen if she gets caught. She'll say it was an accident, then she'll go back through the till to pay for them.