Sister has started shoplifting

Sometimes they are watching like big brother though. The shop radio we have regularly has conversations along the lines of
A:2x IC1 female, with buggies. Known shoplifters entering M&S.
(99) getting CCTV up. Oh yes, it's Xxx. Have any items been taken?
M&S: We banned them last week. Asking them to leave.
B: They're coming along the mall towards Sainburies
C: Yes, I can see them. Going in Works.
(99) calling Works. Can you see them?
C: coming out again. They've got gift bag on the back of the buggy.
(Works) calling 99. Two IC1 females with buggy just took a gift bag
(99) they're under surveillance where did they go?
(Works) didn't see..
D: They're heading towards Painters Way
E: Passing us now by Body Shop
F: Gone into Boots.
(99) calling Boots
((Boots) got them They're round the gift section. Just seen them put something in the gift bag
(99)Value?
(Boots) £30/40?
(99) Yeah, that's worth it. Coming down.
(Boots) we've detained them at the exit. Thanks.

It's very entertaining.
But, yes, certain known shoplifters will be followed round town by the shopkeepers on the radio warning each other as they pass, and 99 watching on CCTV.

I’ve been caught accidentally shoplifting, it wasn’t particularly embarrassing. In my case I walked out of primark with some vest tops hooked over the pram handle. I just gave them back, apologised, and got on with my day.

I used to work in primark and it happened many times a day. They only really did anything if you tried to deny it.

I agree. I used to work in a baby shop and things being handed to a toddler in a pram was reasonably common. So the parent gives it to the child, tries to leave without paying, then says "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise they'd grabbed that!" It wouldn't have been particularly embarrassing for them.

We didn't believe them. But we also didn't do anything about it beyond taking the item. We had cctv, there were security guards in the shopping centre, but no one searched back through the cctv to show that actually the parent gave it to the child.

The OP is the sister, isn’t she?

TBH sometimes I feel like a mug as it appears everyone else is just waltzing out of shops without paying, so I can see why some people do it! I still wouldn’t shoplift though.

I really can’t square this thread with the threads that complain about shoplifters constantly getting away with blatant, unabashed stealing; there has more than one thread about people walking out of supermarkets with actual trolley loads of stolen stuff. In those threads, the feeling seems to be that the store can do nothing and the police will do nothing. But on here the message seems to be that the sister will get into terrible trouble. Can anyone explain why they think this woman will get in such trouble while others carry on regardless?

How very dramatic. This isn't big brother believe it or not you aren't actually being watched with every move.

I imagine that there are certain crimes you would grass them for?

I’ve been caught accidentally shoplifting, it wasn’t particularly embarrassing. In my case I walked out of primark with some vest tops hooked over the pram handle. I just gave them back, apologised, and got on with my day.

I used to work in primark and it happened many times a day. They only really did anything if you tried to deny it.

This is so interesting. I am menopausal and I too have felt the urge to steal something when I’m doing the shopping. This is very unlike me and I haven’t but I keep thinking “I could just nick it and no-one would know”!

This is why meat and cosmetics are often security tagged.

If she's been at it for a while her behaviours will have been clocked by retail staff. Shoplifters have certain methods and behaviour that sticks out a mile. She will get caught, she has to be lucky all the time the shop has only to be lucky once.

She is getting an adrenaline buzz out of doing this , she sounds like she has an addictive personality.

Honestly I work in a shop and eventually the staff will twig and start following her around and as a pp said will inform other shops.

Does she really want shop staff to think she's a thieving junkie skank because that's what we think even the "middle class" ones that do it. And the "forgot" excuse is never believed. We just tell them they're banned.

So far I only see defensive replies from OP. I personally wouldn't report anyone for theft as I do not want to involve myself, particularly if there's a chance I was wrong.

But I sure as hell wouldn't associate with someone who steals, including my own family. It's not the theft itself that bothers me, or even breaking the law, it's the entitled mindset. If they were desperate and needed to eat, I'd buy it for them in that moment but if it was a pattern of behaviour they are on their own.

Sorry but if I see someone doing the wrong thing I'm going to say something. I don't abide by that "normal" rule you speak of not to grass ppl up.

If she’s confiding in you it sounds like she’s seeking help. You mentioned she said she can’t help it - sounds absolutely like an addiction. I hope you can help her find support. And please no excuses about menopause. Most of us in late 40s manage perfectly well to remember not to steal.

That's a myth

She can't stop as shoplifting is a recognised addiction. I shopliftted for years, and it's a horrible feeling, most people dont know why they do it and cant stop themselves. I remember being caught and going straight back out to do it again. More people are at it than youd imagine, I've been in support groups with nurses and teachers who cant stop. Makes you feel worthless and rotten inside. She'll probably just get a caution from the police, that's if the store bothers to report her. Lots dont these days if its under £100 worth of items.

I presume she means caught once shes left the shop

Frog march her to a homeless centre where people are desperate for a roof over their heads and food.

She doesn't have a real need to steal, it's a thrill at getting away with it.

Explain to her that if everyone lacked morals and was helping themselves then the price of things would go up for everyone.

She's not feral, she's not starving but she is lacking in moral fibre. What an awful role model for her child:

Menopause is often blamed as well. I recall a thread from a few months back where the OP had an affair and blamed it foursquare on her going through the menopause.

A large proportion of posters seemed to agree with her that it wasn't really her fault, or anything she could have helped; she certainly wasn't to blame for it in any way at all.

That kind of attitude does an immense disservice to women everywhere. Imagine if, as well as the 'no more than two unaccompanied schoolchildren' signs they have up in corner shops, they regularly started putting up humiliating signs saying 'no more than two women aged between 45 and 55 at any time'.

Once you refuse to accept responsibilities, you tend to get relieved of them - along with your corresponding rights and freedoms.

You’re right - she needs to actually report her, not just think about it.

These scummy people are making shopping more expensive for the rest of us.

About 15 years ago I had a friend who was a kleptomaniac. They collected information for a year with all the stores in the town where she lived, and then when they caught her one day (with quite a lot of high value items as she had kept increasing to meet her thrill) they sent her to prison. Her kid went into foster care and was adopted out. I imagine they still do similar now, and being a Mum or a professional or any of that won't protect them from the consequences of her actions. It is a mental illness anyway, yeah can be part of another mental health condition as well or some kind of mid life crisis, but it kleptomania is an addiction and illness if it's own as well. She needs to get into therapy and find a way to stop before she gets some bad repercussions.

You could also make up a photo advert to post on the local facebook page. Pictures of her from the back etc. alerting people to identify her. Does anyone know this thief?

Threaten to post it unless she stops.

I think a lot of shops also have detailed, well-monitored cameras on the robot tills, so it isn't quite as much 'trusting' as you might think it is.

I set off the alarm at Morrison's a few months back and the security guard at the door instantly said "It's your meat". I'd bought a particularly nice pre-packed cut from the deli for a treat, with a tag on it. I reached for my receipt, but he said "No, it's fine - I saw you pay for it" and waved me to go through.

She probably won’t get court. If she does nothing will happen. But she could possibly be charged with theft. I doubt she will end up in jail, but if she gets a record it will affect her volunteering or getting a job in the future.

Dont go shopping with her, as you might end up charged along with her.