Child hitting my child at school

You’d be shocked at the bruises I have from working with high needs children. There is no provision, there is no support, there is no money. I’m handing in my notice today.

Parents talk and like it or not so do teachers and TAs. I have a friend who's a TA and know a lot of stuff I probably shouldn't.

This. My friend wanted to send her autistic son to private school and was refused.

True but I have noticed a lot of threads about " violent "children with ASD recently and this is mums net so....

im not sure how old these children are but it’s really unusual for other parents to know quite so much about another child’s experience in school or for staff to be so upset about a small child kicking them.

What a disgraceful thing to say, that he should have kicked the already upset TA harder.

Yes you can move them but education in this country is broken. We have 5 children in my school that have been assessed as being not suitable for mainstream school yet there is no where for them to go. One 5 year old girl recently broke the toe of a 6ft 4 adult man. Move your child if you want but you will find the same everywhere.

There is no funding for specialist provision and even less funding for support in schools.

Tbf, the Op said the mother of the child was encouraging the behaviour
ASD is vey complex as im.sure you know , my child is very challenging ,but he has very complex needs and is non verbal ,and thankfully in a special school.that can meet his needs
But sometimes even cognitively very able children with ASD cannot cope in mainstream schools and it's not fair to everyone but especially them that their needs are not being met.

My child with asd, is also non violent but I’m amazed you think so much of the blame for this lies with the parents. It’s a shocking level of ignorance of your own child’s diagnosis.

The consensus seems to be that children who are violent can’t be managed in mainstream school. If that’s the case where do you suggest they go? Everyone seems very happy to deprive them of any chance of an education. If you want it to be different surely you have to understand that the money given for their support in school will have to be increased and go with them to wherever they are being educated. You may have to accept that your own children’s education will have to be provided with even less funding.

My son is ASD, however I wouldn't accept him doing this. We have a lot of conversations about kind hands and ensure he is supported by the school.
Your child shouldn't be going through this at all, he is entitled to support and help also.
I hope you manage to get this sorted, unfortunately a lot of parents will not accept their child will do any wrong regardless of ASD.

It depends what type of ward ,when I worked in acute mental.health and dementia wards.there was sometimes aggressive behaviour ,but due to a patients mental state and there was training given to.deal.with that
Even on a genera ward l I guess it would depend on wether the patient has capacity or not as tp.what extent the behaviour would be tolerated
Children are different to adults because they are children
Nobody is saying that this is right ,just that there isn't always a simple answer .

It’s very hard and I understand completely. I work in a primary with several chn as you describe. Chn with severe behaviour/ mental health issues are in mainstream schools as there just aren’t the places for them in special schools. My school doesn’t have the resources to support these chn apart from a poorly paid TA that gets punched and kicked daily. Parents insist on them staying at our school despite there being bigger schools with SEN units. You can’t insist that parents move them. We often have to evacuate the rest of the class to avoid a flying chair. This is education right now.

I left teaching 3 years ago after being continually assaulted in the classroom. I was spat on, kicked, bitten, nipped, had my hair pulled, my fingers bent back and the straw the broke the camels back was being bitten so badly on my face that it has left me with scars. This was in the space of two terms, it broke me.

I totally appreciate a child’s right to be educated, every child has that right but not at the detriment to another 23 children in the class, the class teacher and a learning assistant. The child was so disregulated we ended up having a piece of red card that we held up and the rest of the children in the class knew to go out the door and stand in a line outside when tables were being upturned, books ripped water bottles thrown around and staff attacked. The children were 4/5 years old.

The SMT were almost living in the classroom with us some days, I had support, the child had support, however, nothing we did could calm him, there were no triggers, there was absolutely nothing we could do to de escalate the situation as it happened so fast and believe me we tried everything.

Two weeks into the first term I had children terrified to come to school. I was peeling these children off parents legs trying to reassure them school was a fun place to be when in reality I was counting down the minutes from when I closed the door to when I’d have to hold that red card up.

Specialist school places are scarce, assessments are taking years, meanwhile school staff struggle on, day after day after day.

My advice @ShepherdMoons if you can afford it get your child into a private school.

All children are entitled to an education. Having SEN children in mainstream schools were they can not cope does not offer this. Dropping a child at a school is not providing them with an education. Often it means the child does not receive an education orcare that meets their needs or deserves, and it stops the others in the class having their needs met and receiving the education they deserve.
The system is broken.

I fully agree that all children have a right to attend school without violence. You are directing your anger at the wrong place though. The forced integration of kids that can't cope with mainstream and lack of suitable places for those with additional needs is the issue. I can see my eldest having nonviolent meltdowns in class that would disrupt the class around him, because it's not a suitable environment for him. It's not fair on him or the other 29 kids in the class. There is nowhere different for him to go though, other than private, which we can't afford, or massively oversubscribed special schools that teach functional skills.

What would the solution be if someone was assaulting other patients on a hospital ward? Would we say they have a right to healthcare and let it continue? Or would we say they have a right to healthcare but that shouldn’t be happening in a ward with others getting harmed so it’ll have to happen elsewhere?

Why is it different when it comes to children in primary schools?

We have a similar situation at our school. There is a child in my DCs year 4 class who regularly has violent outbursts. So far my child hasn't been at the receiving end but many others have. And they all miss out on a lot of education (and often have to skip PE) because their poor teacher is constantly firefighting. It's awful.
I don't know what the answer is either but it's not having that child in that class with no support. It's not fair an anyone. Particularly not the kids who get hurt.

Well, because you shouldn’t be talking about the children - things like this are on a need to know basis.

Don't be angry at the kid, be angry at a shitty, underfunded school system that is totally failing our SEN children and shitting on neurotypical kids while doing so.

What is the answer then?

By the way as a parent to a sen child who is frequently disruptive in class I do agree that all children have a right to an education that is free from violence.
Unfortunately the government don't care, I feel for all the children and staff! And the parents who have to fight day in and day out!

As i said my child,s needs are being met
But there are many children that are not getting their needs met
I dont know,what the answer
But fundamentally all children are entitled to an educatiion.

@Strangerfings1 yes I believe it should be. The right not to be subjected to violence should come above all else. There is nothing to say anyone has the right to violently assault another human being in a school classroom as they have a right to education.

x2boys · Today 22:10

Caffeinequeen91 · Today 22:03

Tolerance of violence in schools has to stop. Children and school staff should not be repeatedly hurt by the same child over and over again. There is a right to education but that should not trump the right to not be hurt!
My child has very complex needs and has always gone to a special school
However there will be some children that are not coping in mainstream due to their needs ,but there is no specialist place for them
Yes violence shouldnt be tolerateed but a child still has a right to an education.

That right to an education should be secondary to a child's right to safety from harm though surely?

I'm parent to a ASD kid who hits out. There is no point moving your child the current policy is 'inclusion' and forcing kids who can't handle mainstream school into those school regardless of the effects on the SEND kids or the non send kids.

What send schools there are are over subscribed. There are just no places for the number of kids who need them.

I refused to send my kid to school once he started hurting others. Many parents don't have that option. They feel guilty after it's not fair on them the kids they hurt or the staff trying to manage it and teach at the same time.

If you care look up SEND reform. Keep on at the school yes as without proof the kids are negatively impacting the learning of others they can't do anything about moving the kids. but this isn't the schools fault. It's the government. No funding or support available for these kids. SEND parents have been making noise for years but no one listens. We need the parents of non SEND kids to make noise too

My child has very complex needs and has always gone to a special school
However there will be some children that are not coping in mainstream due to their needs ,but there is no specialist place for them
Yes violence shouldnt be tolerateed but a child still has a right to an education.