Incessant sex banter at work

I would have to leave, I just couldn't tolerate this. It's not at all normal.
If you won't leave I would take it up with the manager and make it clear that this is harassment and you will be informing and supporting the victim, in whatever action she takes, if it continues. No bloody wonder she's grumpy.

I would be openly telling them every time they did it that it was an incredibly disrespectful, unkind thing to do and they were all vile individuals. After I'd made sure to log it and record it a good few times.
They might not have HR, but that doesn't mean they can get away with this.

Ear phones.
I’d say Jesus I’m not too sensitive, it’s just boring. Are none of you getting any at home / have nothing more interesting to talk about, I’m not interested in this conversation. It’s boring and repetitive and you’ve done it to death. I’m going to record you all and play it to the woman you are talking about. People like this will talk about someone else when it’s their day off.

If you like the job and want to stay, the boss doesn’t care! Not sure what you can do with no HR Dept! Look for another job?

Can’t you speak to the woman individually and see what she says? If you must wrap it up as “I have a friend who has just been sacked because she was accused of bullying, I‘’m worried that x might say that about you. Plus TBH the joke’s getting a bit tired.” Chances are you aren’t the only one who feels like this. But if you don’t say anything you’re complicit in their bullying and as bad as they are.

If the individual approach didn’t work I think I would politely tell them to give it a test every time it started, as I know otherwise I’d just lose my rag eventually. And if it didn’t work I’d take it to the manager/ owner, as this creates a massive risk.

The best way to handle this is to be quietly firm. Continually shut it down by rejecting this conversation in a non-confrontational way. Throwaway comments like “a bit less of that” “oh this again, how boring” and the like, or a “jokey” remark like “do you never get sick of being a w*nker?”. Just keep shutting it down, never rise to it, never escalate it into a row, just dismiss them time and again. Sorry you’re having to deal with this!

Yeah @AlwaysTheGoodGirl if I'm with a group of people who clearly disrespect me and take the piss out of me I tend to be mean as well. Funny that.
Still firmly sitting on protecting yourself.

Because she is there. They need a vicitm so that they can all much in with their oh so hilarious and transgressive "banter".

Have you actually said to them that they're leaving themselves wide open to a workplace sexual harassment lawsuit with their behaviour and that the banter could be used against the team if any one of them falls out with the rest of the team at any point, causing the business to go under? Maybe give an example of a business taken to task like this. You can present it in a slightly musing out loud way as "I read about this one case where... and it got me thinking..." if you don't want a confrontation.

Might give a few people - hopefully the boss - food for thought.

If I bring it up in front of everyone, I look like an arse.

I'm sorry, what? You will look like an arse for saying the obvious: that they are bullying, miogynistic sexual harassers?

This is sexual harassment. You need to be brave and call it out. They are awful disgusting bullies who think they can disrespect this lady just because she is overweight. Vile people.

Getting a bit victim blamey now OP.

I don't know how you can love the job, Op.

^

THIS x 1000000

I don't want to have to move jobs for the sake of immature people.

Immature would be finding one of your children's toy cars in your bag and playing with it on your desk.
Immature would be wrapping a small onion in a Ferrero Rocher wrapper and offering it to someone.
Immature would be swallowing some helium and making a phone call.

This is not immature.

This is horrendous.
What the hell industry is this?
That poor woman.
Please be the person that stands up to your pathetic, disgusting colleagues.

YANBU that's disgusting. They aren't even jokes, just sexual harassment. I couldn't work in an atmosphere like that, and if there's no HR to report it to then I would have to leave.

The two of you need to stick up for each other and tell them all to do one.

God this reminds me of my old work place such arseholes I'm so glad I'm no longer there
Again lots of sexiest remarks thinking they were being funny but weren't and always the management.
Seriously if you can look elsewhere for another Job clearly if Management is also encouraging this behaviour it won't stop they will start turning on you I bet they say awful stuff about each and everyone that's not in the office that day as I said I sadly had experience working in an environment similar to what you describe.

Please spit in their tea next time you make it.

Honestly the best thing to do is take a log and recordings for a number of weeks. In case you need it.

Once you've done that ask to talk to the manager. Explain you don't like the sexualised conversation in the workplace nor do you like how they speak about their colleague as you think it's unkind and inappropriate - Please could he action it.

And then give him the chance to do so. If he doesn't put in a written complaint, with examples, so it's documented.

Hopefully you never need to take it further but you have the evidence if you needed to.

Stellar idea. 100% do this

Our team veers into this sort of territory sometimes, it’s usually a bit more tame but is inappropriate nonetheless. I pulled them up on it, in terms of ‘ohSteve, are you pulling out the same old rubbish jokes again, don’t you have any new material?’ And it stopped. I didn’t have to address the specific topics, just raised that it wasn’t appreciated. Would this work?

Yes! I worked in the office of a construction firm.
Owner, big personality, late 50s. Me late 40s, finance woman early 40s

Open plan office, lots of clients coming in and out, younger male workforce.

It can be the funniest most supportive place in the world then on a bad week it just grinds you down. The language and terminology is beyond an obstetrician. I probably hear the peanut butter 'gag' every six months of my entire working life.

I basically treat them like I'm the parent
I don't join in the sex talk or bullying other staff.
I do reward them with my attention when they are genuinely funny or interesting.
In a small business with an owner you are paid to do your job and also, weirdly, entertain them. I quite often have something up my sleeve about their various hobbies, local construction gossip, even fucking sport. I try to shield the younger sales reps who often get eaten.

I finally resigned a month ago. It wasn't just the talk, there were a few other things but it was a part. I just started to feel too old to put up with it. Shame, because I was bloody good at my job.