Catered for 8 and no one showed up

Don't volunteer again .

Oh, man, I thought this was going to be heartbreaking and it is just bad manners. Well, the one that suggested going to a pub knows what is up. I think your group will have to stick with things like that. Also, things like that need to be planned out more definitively and more in advance. I know you all were talking about it for weeks but sounds like concrete plans weren't made until right beforehand. People may have still canceled, but it probably would have been days ahead instead of hours and you wouldn't have a ton of food. Also, I think this also a problem with group chats. If that first person had called you to say they weren't coming and no one found out, I bet others would have all still showed up.

Indeed it is. Some of the rudest see you next tuesdays on the planet.

Well firstly they are not friends. A friend would offer to pay ( I would as I’d feel awful if I left you stranded like this! ) I would expect them to pay for their share op. Also their feeble excuses wouldn’t wash with me.

What's so special about Mondays that a barbeque can't be held? Life is different in the southern hemisphere

It’s not the cancelling that would have annoyed me it would be the fact that no one offered to help cover your costs.

But I guess it was still Monday yesterday??

Nearly have you actually read the thread .. the OP lives in Australia where clearly the weather is a lot different ...

So tedious when people don't read the thread before commenting...

Cut your losses and cut them off.

OP, I really feel for you, but why did you all arrange a BBQ for a Monday night in November?

I would have to tell them I had spent money on food that is going to be wasted

Their excuses are so lame it’s insulting. And I bet the first one triggered the rest because they could see it all in chat.

They don’t sound like friends worth keeping. Sorry you’ve been let down, OP.

She can't do that!

If just one person or two people hadn't shown up, the OP wouldn't send a bill. So it's not going to repair the friendships if she sends a bill. That's like punishing each one for what the other 7 also happened to do. COMPLETELY understandable but not logical.

I get that people will say but they're shit friends find new ones. That's not so easy. I'd withdraw for a bit, lick your wounds @TheFailedCaterer maybe get in touch with different friends outside of that group just to take your mind off all of it.

Shockingly bad manners. Do they think all this food just fell in your lap, with no work or cost to you?! I would be letting them know how inconvenient it was and suggesting they might like to make some sort of contribution to the cost. I also wouldn't be hosting the re-scheduled barbeque. So selfish.

Bill them each for an 8th of the food they have wasted & freeze what you can. Next meet up is restaurant, pub or nothing.

I'd be devastated, and it'd be a long time before I hosted any of them.

However, I'd try to separate the collective rejection. Try to think about each person individually and think about how you'd feel if that person hadn't come and the other 7 had shown up. So that each 1 isn't carrying all the disappointment.

That sounds really hard as I type it.

Spot on. Send this!

Guys, I understand that every has their own reasons for not showing up and that's ok but If we arrange another get together could we perhaps just meet out as I did spent alot on food for the night and i was just left not only out of pocket but to be honest quite disappointed 😔 i dont want to make a big de about it but just want to be upfront and honest x

Are you uk? A bbq in November?

I’m so sorry! I also have some flakey friends and it’s soo disappointing, especially when you’ve made an effort or you were looking forward to something! I think tiredness is a really crap excuse, I would never rather sit on the sofa/go to sleep than see my friends unless I was ill.

I have a few friends who won’t cancel unless they’re either throwing up or there’s been a disaster so these people do exist!

If I were you I would ask for suggestions of what to do with the food (so they realise they’ve inconvenienced you) and I wouldn’t offer to host again

My reaction too.

Yep, send a message along with photos of the food , along with your bank details and an an amount they can kindly transfer to you for leaving you out of pocket.

Wow, none of them even bothered to come up with better excuses either, too tired? Send them a bill each and consider if they are actually friends.

Eat what you can, freeze what you can, put it down to experience and never host them again. It was extremely rude and thoughtless of them to let you down.

OP I'm raging right now on your behalf!! They were tired, a niece was sick WTF??? Pathetic reasons. It suggests no one really thought about anyone else. I have some friends like this, they tend to get told about events after everyone else has confirmed cos I can't rely on them. The 'let's just cancel cos there are only 3 of us' is such BS. 3 is plenty.