Son having sex: Everyone has an opinion that I didn’t ask for

It’s okay to need to offload about stuff and kids having sex for the first time (that you know of) is a big deal! It reminds you that your “baby” is actually grown up. It reminds you that, oh gosh, I could become a grandparent! oh gosh, my kid is about to get another kid pregnant/get pregnant! oh gosh, xyz thing! And so it goes on.

But the correct person to offload to, is the other parent. Not friends who you’ve known since Moses was a boy, and may tease your son about this when they see him.

Meanwhile, be glad that he’s sensible, he’s using barrier protection and that now he’s an adult, you have no reason to go into his room! He’s old enough to have sex, so he can keep his room clean, wash his own clothes and bedding and basically have the privacy that I’m sure you have in your bedroom.

You'd be worried if your kids weren't having sex by 19, seriously? Do you view being single as a bad thing? Everyone is different and it's perfectly fine and completely normal for people to not want a relationship or sex in a relationship at any age. 19 is still so young and it's great that young people are focused on other goals. Sex always carries some level of risk and kudos to anyone who thinks it through and decides that they don't want the risk of emotional complications at that age.

Op your son should have discussed it with you and it's fine for you to feel uncomfortable about it happening in your home. It's fine to want other opinions about this happening in your home as plenty of parents wouldn't feel comfortable with this. Outside of your house though you don't have the right to have an opinion or to talk to your friends about this. I suspect that you've had a shock at being confronted with it in a blatant way and the sudden transition from thinking of him as a young man to an adult. That's something for you to work through and not for him to feel guilty about. I'm sure you'll become used to the idea soon and then feel comfortable with future girlfriends staying over kr thinking of you son as an adult

Why on earth would you discuss this with people? He deserves privacy.

His 19 he can have sex if he wants too, no wrong doing here at all. Your adult child having sex is not a parental dilemma, it is none of your business quite frankly.

Why on earth are you talking about your sons sex life to your friends? Just no.

What dilemma?!

There is no dilemma here. Your adult son is having sex with his girlfriend.. hardly surprising. If you don't want her to stay over, just say so. It won't stop them from having sex if they want to, though.

Is your dilemma related to younger children in the home?

I imagine he's been having sex for 4 or more years already, that was the time to worry.

Please tell us what the dilemma is?

OMG, keep your son's private sex life out of other people's ears!

I would've been mortified if my parents told their mates when I became sexually active!

Not cool at all, and on top of that, here you are garnering comments from strangers on the internet.

You're spending far too long thinking about your adult son having sex!

He's 19. Stop discussing his personal life with your friends. You can't blame them for commenting... you were the one who invited them to do so.

If you're not happy with the gf staying over, then address this with your ds like the grown-up that you are.

My goodness I thought from the title you were going to say he was 14 or something.

He is an adult.

How would you feel if he told his mates he knew his mum was having sex and they all gave an opinion he didn't ask for and he then went on a public forum to say "told my friends mum is doing it"

You would have been perfectly reasonable to discuss with your ds the protocols around having overnight guests in your home. But at 19 whether or not he is having sex with said guest would be his business alone

I think needing to "offload" about this - and then complaining they gave unwanted opinions about it - is ludicrous. What did you expect them to do?

You have an unhealthy interest in your adult sons sex life. Mind your own business and stop telling your friends about it ffs

Your

They are adults. Most 19 year olds unless very religious/conservative if in a relationship of longer than a couple of weeks will be having sex. Its NONE of your /anyone else's business.

You're 19 year old having sex with his girlfriend is not a parenting dilemma 🙄🙄 you need to get a grip

He's 19 not 15. This isn't a 'parenting dilemma' because he's a grown man doing something perfectly legal, presumably consensual and from the evidence you found also safely.

What in god's name does it have to do with your friends?

I think it's alright to talk to him about it if you're concerned but you shouldn't be discussing it with others.

He’s 19!!!

He’s 19! WTAF are you doing discussing his private relationships with your friends.
You need to back out of his life and read up on appropriate boundaries.
I would be beyond fuming with you if I were him, absolutely unforgivable having that conversation with friends.