My ex husband (38M) and I (30F) were together for 10 years.
We started off long distance so I couldn't gauge the scope of the problem initially, but sex and intimacy was always problematic.
We moved in after we got married and lived together for 6 years. During this time we had sex twice a year. Intimacy outside of the bedroom was not there either as he was very touch averse.
I eventually had to give him an ultimatum. He finally got a testosterone test done and found out his levels were normal. I then found him a therapist and us a couple's therapist. They suspected neurodivergency for him. He eventually told me that we might be better off going our separate ways. He also told me that he changed his mind about wanting kids. I always wanted them so we had a divorce earlier in the year.
Life hasn't been a walk in the park since. I've been through a lot and I'm still quite depressed. I attempted to date but soon realised that there are many dodgy men about. My ex has decided to go no contact with me and moved on. I hear he's quite happy now.
I started to regret my decision of getting a divorce now. I feel like we had everything else going for us: same values, sense of humour, life outlook, goals etc. Did I mess up? I was feeling quite low after years of intimacy rejection, but not sure if I'm better off now...