Does anyone else hate xmas?

@Goldenboysmum
I feel your pain - I lost my son on Christmas Day 2019, at the age of 24 to SADs.
I have no advice, other than to say that you just have to do whatever it takes to get you through.
Something like we have experienced certainly puts all the stressing about shit like
co-ordinating tableware and which cheese to include on the board into perspective.

@Goldenboysmum

I'm the same as you @grinchapparently. I have no children, no family in the UK, my partner usually works and I can't go away as there is no one to look after my cats (my ex husband does when I go on holiday but he always spends Christmas with his widower father...he's an only child). In the last 25 years I've spent all but 7 Christmas Days completely on my own.

I work in travel and this year I'm spending 4 days beforehand in Venice, which is my Xmas present to myself. Partner will definitely be working as he's recently had to take a month off work after his mother died unexpectedly...so when he's not a work he'll be with his father (and partner is another only child!).

Like you it's the hype I hate, the messages/tv ads etc that makes those without families feel like failures. And god forbid you even hint that you don't like Christmas!

Apparently if you don't want to celebrate it, you're a scrooge. God forbid you don't want to celebrate it as a family, there are charity fundraisers for that because apparently every child should have a gift as it is child abuse otherwise!

I'm the same as you op, I loved it as a child... but there are some horrific memories which trigger me every single year, starting in October.

I hate it, mainly because I miss how it used to make me feel (i.e. the excitement the night before when you were a kid, the build up at school etc). Now it's just the boring adult side of things like sorting things out and cooking, not to mention spending a lot of money.

I have to put a smiley face on for the whole of the period, because being sad at Christmas is Not Allowed. It's exhausting. I'd happily sit in and treat it like any other day, but my parents worry about me when I say things like that, so I go with it.

NB I'm not depressed, fine most of the time, just don't get the hype anymore.

I’ve cancelled Christmas for myself this year. I’m just going to treat it as any other day. 2021 I was alone and had a breakdown. Did something stupid which has impacted my life considerably.
i spent last Christmas with some of the people that contributed to that breakdown - all they did was remind me of what I had done the Christmas before which was really horrible. I no longer have contact with them.
I will probably put a tree up, I’ll make my Christmas LEGO but other than that it will just be a normal day for me.
I can’t go away easily because of my pets and I’m working between Christmas and New Year. I’ll just get myself something nice for dinner and have a long walk in the woods with my dog.

I also hate that while I'm so busy at Christmas time other people are grieving or feeling lonely. If only we could even things out a bit. I have a workmate who always hosts for everyone she knows who will be alone, I think that's so lovely.

A friend and I were discussing it today and agreed on this.

I can't stand it being thrust down my throat in October, and people tying themselves in knots trying to make everything perfect, spending money they can ill afford. Everything having to be done "before Christmas", when it's really not necessary.

I will be spending Christmas Day alone, and I'm looking forward to it.

I disagree with anything christmassy before December, preferably not before the 15th or so.

Forget the consumerism and go for wintry walks and then being cosy with good TV and films.

I find celebrating the 12 days of Xmas is good too - it means Christmas peters out slowly rather than Xmas day and then flat feeling on boxing Day. You can also pace the feasting! So having cheese and biscuits etc in the evening right up to 12th night.

I hate all the children's stuff that goes on in the run up to Christmas so everyone is shattered by the time Christmas itself comes around. We have already been told the dates of 2 Christmas concerts, there will be at least 2 other school nativities/carol services plus parties for work, and parties for each of our children's activities.

I hate the people who never host who still expect things to be done in a certain way.

I also really hate people who say 'it's just one day'. No it's bloody not. We have people staying in my house from 17th Dec to 3rd Jan this year. In that time I am hosting two birthday parties, Christmas Day and Hogmanay. I am also driving the guests to another relatives house an hour away for a lunch. I have already started the baking, the shopping, and organising various trips out (plus the preChristmas clear out). Work is also very busy just before Christmas so DH will be dealing with a lot of the kids Christmas party/concert stuff solo.

We're looking forward to a few days chilling in early January.

It has become such a big commercial thing now - just sell sell sell. I used to know a religious catholic couple who went to Agadir every Xmas for the peace and quiet.

@Goldenboysmum That's terrible, I'm so sorry

I think that it all depends on your circumstances.

I love Christmas (far more than birthdays or any other holidays) but that's because it's when I know I will be together with my family who I love. My brother has a very busy and stressful life so I don't get to see him and his family anywhere near as much as I would like, but at Christmas we always get together.

If my circumstances were different I would probably hate it.

In fact in another few years when DS has left home and its just me and Dh i will probably hate it!

So I sympathise and Yanbu

It’s not running away to go and do something you’ll enjoy while you are off work due to Christmas. It’s making good use of your leave and disposable income.

I don't hate it but I'm ambivalent. I'm not religious & I think the money spent could go on better things like proper holidays away. I only get one day off too.

This year has been shit with several big changes in my life due to bereavement & seperating from STBXH. I am hopeful I can get a week off next year around the Big Day & eff off to somwhere sunny. As it is now I only gift to immediate family and don't bother with cards. I only decorate because DD expects it.

I don't hate it but I'm ambivalent. I'm not religious & I think the money spent could go on better things like proper holidays away. I only get one day off too.

This year has been shit with several big changes in my life due to bereavement & seperating from STBXH. I am hopeful I can get a week off next year around the Big Day & eff off to somwhere sunny. As it is now I only gift to immediate family and don't bother with cards. I only decorate because DD expects it.

I like Christmas but agree it starts far, far too early. I mean, there are people putting their tree up. Who has time for that shit? Each to their own though.

@Goldenboysmum 💐

I’m so sorry for your lost. I can’t imagine.
Sorry I didn’t see this when I posted as it wasn’t visible yet.

I just dont like the fact that everyone is nearly always ill at Christmas! Puts me off the whole thing.

I don’t really like Christmas afternoon after we’ve eaten but I’ve vowed not to do a Christmas like that again.

The consumerism and cost do drive you mad though.

I like Christmas lights and Christmas carols a lot.

Hate Christmas, I lost my son to suicide on Christmas day 2020.

I just want to hide away, but I can't.

I find Christmas very difficult. I hate how I feel at the time. I feel very alone, and isolated even though I do have my oh and dc. I think the lack of a wider family, and tensions within my oh’s family. And guilt due to having to work and no great memories of Christmas past, just make it exceptionally difficult.

I used to because something traumatic happened to me on Christmas Eve about 15 years ago. Just a few days ago I realized I don't associate it anymore. But I'm still annoyed that on Nov 1st the capitalist side of it starts. Even my kids complain about it! It makes me not want to participate as far as buying gifts, etc. It's too much. Since we're not religious and not in contact with most family we might just switch to winter celebrations of our own choosing instead.