Does anyone else hate xmas?

I used to love it. Plus all our close family birthdays including mine and two on Boxing Day so the whole month is busy and I used to find it sparky and joyful, if exhausting.
That all changed when dd2 Unfortunately got badly attacked on the 23rd December two years ago. The run up to that date last year was awful and Christmas was quiet-and I don't see it being much different this year. Dh also hates Christmas and always has-it actually make him miserable due to things that happened in his childhood-though he does put on a good front to the kids and helps out . It just feels like it all on me to keep everyone on a level footing and this year I don't feel like I've got the energy at all. Usually I'd have started shopping and planning and I'm just putting it off at the minute as it just seems like a huge chore rather than the enjoyable thing it used to be.

I don't hate it but can't stand the early start, hyper-consumerism and pressure on people to have the perfect Xmas, whether they can afford it or not. Weeks ago John Lewis had Xmas music blaring out!

I used to love Christmas...I grew up with my mum loving it and making a big fuss so I guess it rubbed off and I was the same. I even got married a week before Xmas as I loved it so much. Then I found out my husband was having an affair a few days after Christmas 6 years ago (his behaviour was horrible on the lead up).

So the last 6 years I have hated it as there have been too many difficult memories associated with it. I have put on a brave face for my dc though and got through it ok.

This year is the first year in this time I have begun to look forward to it again. My partner has moved in with us and although he isn't a fan of Xmas, it's nice to have another adult to share the time with. We have arranged to go out for Xmas dinner with my family so I haven't got to think about cooking/hosting/clearing up and me and my partner have booked a couple of day away over NY, just the two of us in the middle of nowhere. All these things have helped changed my mindset about it and I am not going to let one person ruin what has always been a special time of year for me and my family again.

I do understand that for a lot of people, Xmas can be a really tough time and I can really empathise and hope that these people can get through it as best they can.

It's not just you 💐

Yes I have never liked it which is ironic seeing as I was born Christmas Day and named after a flipping reindeer. I'm only filling stockings this year and buying one toy for the dgc as I have paid for a holiday for all my adult children instead so feel happier about that. Tree will go up as close to Christmas that I can get away with and come down before New Year. They all come here Christmas Day and Boxing Day because I have the biggest house and can cook. I find it tedious if I'm honest but put on a smile knowing that I always ban visitors from 27th until New Years Day as recompense.

I do like Christmas but I don't buy much for it and I try to volunteer every December. For me Christmas is about gratitude for what you do have and helping someone else if you can.

Yep I've always disliked it but now hate it

All the fake falseness of it , buy all this crap to make sure your Christmas is perfect

There's a house round the corner from me that put outside decorations up last weekend for god's sake

Christmas is draining. I will do all the planning/buying/prepping for my DH and DC. We will host. We will struggle to afford it all. DH will cook on the day, I will spend 2 hours cleaning up the kitchen plus another full tidy up again when everyone has left in the eve and Dh & dc are in bed Asleep. I can't bear to come down to all on boxing day. Christmas could very well push me over the edge this year from the stress of it all.

I’m so, so sorry to those who’ve lost loved ones at Christmas 💐

I hate it too. As a child I had to be eternally grateful and thankful for everything I was given, despite being frightened of saying or doing something wrong so that I could be told at every opportunity that ‘you ruined Christmas’ for the next year.
When we were farming DH hated Christmas because he was working so ruined it by moaning all the time although I did my very best to make it good for the children.
Nowadays I hate the commercialisation, I no longer believe in God and quite honestly can’t be bothered with it.
I don’t get any presents at all, not even from my DCs or DH, yet it’s expected that I buy for everyone else. I would love to just get away but I’ll health prevents that.
I’m really grouchy!

@Goldenboysmum @stitchinguru I’m so sorry. 💐❤️

I’m so sorry.

Also the fact that we are expected to spend money on gifts for dh’s siblings who have made the executive decision to no longer buy me (not dh) anything for birthdays or Xmas..😂

One hundred percent yes. The loneliness, forced consumerism and expectations. The pressure. I don't even fully understand what Christmas means to most of society in 2023 and why we are still entertaining it.

I would far prefer a "family" bank holiday in the summer with no expectations other than a walk outdoors/ maybe a picnic. Zero consumerism

@Goldenboysmum and @stitchinguru
I'm so terribly sorry.💐💐

I don't hate Christmas but with all the war in the world - it feels a bit..... <can't think of a word for it> to be celebrating, feasting, buying loads of tat....

We are just so unbelievably lucky to be in a safer country.

I just feel uncomfortable about it all this year. DH and I both feel meh about the whole thing.

I was a big Christmas lover until I became involved with a man with children and later a step parent. It's ironic as Christmas is supposed to be about children but they ruined it for me for all sorts of reasons. Although I very rarely see them now, Christmas is where it always come back. The forced family joviality and seeing people you avoid all year. I always look forward to January and the cleaning up after the decs go down.

What I dislike about it is that people like you are made to feel lonely OP. I’m lucky to have loved ones to spend it with but Christmas is a hard time of year for so many people. You’re completely right, it is completely thrown down our necks and I think it would be easier for people to avoid it if adverts etc didn’t do this. It should be a choice to celebrate Christmas.

Me
so much expectation
have to make magical for kids
no one makes it nice for me
no family whatsoever other than my own
kids so I feel so sad seeing these happy families
I run myself into the ground every year and then cry
kids don’t need anything at all but the expectation
this year I’m broke and would prefer to spend the £ on a holiday rather than tat they don’t need
I’m almost out of the magic years thank god then I will have frank conversation with kids about priorities

It's not running away. It's taking control over the pain that Christmas causes you, by finding distraction and hopefully some joy in a different environment.

I hope you are able to get away.

I absolutely hate it and I have a family, I would quite happily never have another Xmas again. Believe me OP for every person putting up happy family pictures there probably someone like me wracking up stress and debts I’ll be paying off all year to buy my kids presents so they don’t feel like shit when they go back to school and find out they got crap from Santa while everyone else got a games console or an ipad.

Then Spending the day with a miserable dysfunctional family with everyone trying to pretend they are having fun for the kids. We can’t even have a drink to get through Christmas Day because my sister is an alcoholic and if she so much as sniffs a Prosecco she’ll set off on a massive bender and abandon her kids for weeks on end.

I actually feel anxious on edge every year from October until January, Christmas songs in shops can stress me out to the point where I have a panic attack and have to leave. I would love to just ignore the whole thing but instead I have to pretend it’s all jolly and magical for the kids, and they’re already asking when we can put up the Xmas tree because other kids they know already have theirs up..ffs!!

I used to love it. DH and I, for years, used to split the costs and work with DD/SIL and go there for the day - lovely memories.

But, DH died in April, and I'd really sooner just stay in this year, watching non Xmas box sets and letting it pass.

I've got no energy of enthusiasm for the build up either.

But, DD is determined I should go there, and has roped in my adult GCs to guilt trip me into going there as well. I get that she doesn't want me alone, but, I'll be ok.

I'm dreading it. 🙁

It's something to brighten up the long winter. I look forward to it marking the top of the year.

I don't really celebrate it.

I think we need to start being more confident in ignoring all the tat. I’m not saying I’m any good at this myself, just that it would be very helpful.

Sounds good to me!

Op I absolutely love it.
I think of it as essential at this dark time of year.
However i also have virtually no family left and our Xmases are small... And all that side of things does upset me a great deal also.
I try and remind myself that actually many large family gatherings are fraught with issues.