Does anyone else hate xmas?

I love it, but can obviously think of many reasons why others would not. Christmas isn't just for familes though. There are lots of festive things you can enjoy alone.

I've never been a fan of it tbh and been called Scrooge and all sorts!
I do like the food ( just a posh roast , but makes a change )
Don't mind new years as we don't do anything and less pressure. Just nice to be off work

I send you a hug @grinchapparently

My son and I are both neurodiverse and the sensory overwhelm, change in routine and consumerism is all too much.

I love new year (after NYE!) New beginnings, fresh calendars to write in, the anticipation of the year ahead. The cold, bleak time that Jan weather brings!

I have found Christmas easier to deal with by reducing the amount we spend and leaning into the religious meaning. I know that's not for many but I adored going to Midnight Mass last Xmas eve.

I'm also moving to a later tree and leaving it up until epiphany. I personally can't stand the Christmas tree up in November and down Boxing Day!

I have kids so still have to mark the run up to Christmas, but could you have some warm lights and candles, and celebrate the new year too x

I don’t like it. The glutinous consumerism that triggers so many people to go into debt rather than ‘fail’, the impact of all that on the environment. The hysteria about having everything perfect and the dysfunctional reaction of many when things are not like those of the families in the Christmas films. The loneliness of many, the distress of those who are feeling more profoundly the loss of loved ones through death, estrangement etc, because it’s Christmas. The increased use of alcohol, with the associated increase in domestic and street violence. All of this leads to me disliking Christmas. As you can tell I’m a fair bit ‘Bah humbug’!

I loved it when the DC are little. They are now 20 and 18 and although it's lovely to be together the magic has gone.
It brings home a lot of realities. My parents are dead, neither made it to 70, I'm NC with my sibling and so we spend every Christmas with PIL who rattle on and on trying to do everything as cheaply as possible, whose idea of Xmas fun is drinking warm Vimto and serving two £1 Morrisons cheesecakes for ten.
When the DC have families of their own, DH and I will probably spend it abroad.

When I say it will be my first Christmas alone that's not quite true. I spent most of last Christmas alone, other than a brief visit to my DF, which was awful as he wasn't well and in fact died a month later. The rest of the day I was alone and honestly, it was the best Christmas I've had for many years. I don't care about seeing families and kids, I never wanted kids, and I don't want a partner. Christmas here is in summer, which might make a difference - I imagine it might be a bit bleak in winter being alone. As I said, Christmas is what you make it, and I intend to make it enjoyable.

I really understand OP. I felt exactly the same way as you for years and years. I've often felt very alone at Christmas and dreaded Christmas Day because I had nobody to share it with. I think, through my late teens and 20s, I spent about 7 Christmas days on my own.

I'm married with kids now and I try and make it special for them. The loneliness I used to experience has given way to stress and I find myself exhausted, particularly the week of and the week before Christmas. What I'd love to do is go abroad for a couple of weeks, somewhere really hot with a beach and sod it all off.

Like you, I loved Christmas as a child, my parents made it so magical! But as an adult I've grown to dread it because it just leaves me feeling sad and lonely because I don't get to join in the magic.

I don't have any children, not by choice, and I'm single, so I don't get to be part of the magical Father Christmas aspect of it, and Christmas is the time I feel hurt by infertility the most. If you have kids, you cannot imagine just how many times people feel the need to comment on how Christmas is really for kids.

My siblings do have kids, and live away. I make a point every year of inviting the whole family to spend Christmas in my home, but because of the hassle of travelling with kids they have never once accepted the invitation. My parents also (obviously) choose to spend Christmas with their grandchildren. So this means I have never been the "host" for Christmas, and I realise hosting is not for everyone but it's something I dream of doing.
I either travel to them instead and spend the time on a sofa or tiny spare box room, or stay home alone.

Throughout December I am proactive in arranging lots of fun social activities with friends, I love to go out. But invariably, more often than not, friends drop out because their kids are sick, or they can't get a babysitter, or their partner is sick, or they've realised how many presents still to buy and need to shop instead, or they are so tired from meeting so many people and could we meet in January instead (when I know they will cancel again due to lack of money).

So, yes OP, I get you. It can be a lonely and difficult time for some people.

I do not hate it but I do not get as excited as before. My family is all over the world and very expensive to travel for those dates. As I have to stay home I rather travel abroad later and get some sun rather than spend money in presents and expensive food.

This.

During Covid lockdown it was like Xmas every day with Amazon deliveries virtually every single day.

For me the best part of the lockdown Xmas was when people took to walking around outside and I got to say hello to neighbours and friends.

i Once spent Xmas alone. I had always dreamed of doing so but in reality it was awful. The telly is obsessed with happy families - all the adverts etc. it is really quiet and I felt isolated in a way that I never had. I live alone and never felt like that before. I went out for a walk and it was all families and kids playing with their new bikes etc. what’s worse the day seemed to stretch on and on endlessly. It was a relief when it was over.

It used to be a magical time when you had been looking forward to getting something that you’d longed for all year, in this age of mass consumerism and instant gratification more and more people buy what they want when they want so the feeling of anticipation doesn’t exist, for me that’s part of why the magic has gone

I've felt very "meh" about Christmas for many years now. Even worse since my Dad died in March 2021.

I'm fine on the day with my family around and we go out to a local restaurant for Christmas dinner so that's fine. I hate the run up to it though. Actually, I think I am just not a fan of this time of year at all. Short days, long dark nights etc. I just don't like it. I want to hibernate and wake up around the end of January.

I really long for the days when perhaps DH and I could go away on holiday for Christmas and New Year. Somewhere warm and light. Maybe the DDs could come with us if they want to or can. That time is not yet though.

I am aware that my issues are minor compared to those who have lost relatives and children though, especially if it happened at Christmas time. You all have my sympathy there.

I'm like you @rockinginarockingchair . Christmas is buying about 3 presents during the year, writing a handful of cards, posting them, and that's it.

It's still nice, I still enjoy it, but the expectations are pretty low so it's not the anti-climax that it would be if I felt it had to be the Best Christmas Ever.

I Don't hate Christmas I just don't like it and don't do it not done it in years.
When my children was in their teens they had no interest so one year we said we would go Xmas free. It was the best Xmas we had no faffing had steak and chips done our own thing no forced enjoyment no gifts just a normal day.
We never looked back.

Their adults now and still don't do Xmas they both work on that day.

To much faffing i see people doing a Christmas shop like the world is ending shops are open on boxing Day you know.
The parent trying to out do the next.
Christmas dinner it's just a Sunday roast with extra veg.
Buying gifts for family we don't really see all year.
I could go on.
I don't do any of it no decs nothing just another day to me.
I spend my Xmas day giving my home a deep clean or I go on holiday.
Its the same for all holiday for me I just don't do any.
Easter I can get chocolate all year round.
Valentine's Day I can say I love you and flowers all year round not just one day.
Halloween what's the point.
Every one to their own but it's just not me.

I'm so sorry @Goldenboysmum

I don’t hate Christmas OP, but I totally get where you are coming from. This Christmas will be the first without my Dad, last Christmas was the first without my Mum - they were both over 90 when they passed which helps me deal with it, but it will be strange.

In the midst of recent loss, I received my annual invite to host a stall at the local primary and have agreed to go ahead with it. I figured the reindeer deeley boppers and the happy little people would be a tonic.

I’m with you about Christmas kicking off too soon. When we lived in the US, most of the festive stuff didn’t make an appearance until after Thanksgiving. I think that was a good restraint.

I don't call it 'Christmas' anymore, my dh doesn't like it he finds it overwhelming. I largely ignore all the marketing crap so don't feel as affected. What we do is see that time of year as a time to enjoy early nights, rest get cosy and make plans for the year ahead. For me winter is about hibernation reflection and rest before the new year.

I'm not putting up a tree again this year I can't be bothered it doesn't mean anything to me, instead I light more candles put up some lights and enjoy that. Given the state of the world I don't think it's realistic for companies to keep ramming 'Christmas is a time for family' or similar rubbish down our necks.

Make this winter about you op, about the things you enjoy and shut the rest of the noise out.

I agree with you, but it's not always possible to ignore the situation you're placed in.

Christmas is what you make of it
There's no reason you have to do what everyone else does. Make it a day you love, get yourself a treat, eat whatever you want to eat, or go on holiday. See it as a free day off work and ignore everything else.

I like Christmas but it does start far too early, I agree with that. My 11 yo DD asked if we could put the decorations up the day after Halloween! I obviously said no because it’s November, she was very sad about this but we’ve always put them up in early December so no idea why.

I felt the way you do about it before I had DC because my parents were useless at Christmas. Lapsed Jewish Dad who bought me presents but didn’t know how else to celebrate Christmas so we usually just watched TV… Mum who liked to get drunk and subsequently burnt the dinner. It was always rubbish. Had my own DC and made it good so now I look forward to it.

And the Santa bullshit. And the current focus on many Santa focused "experiences ". Elf on the shelf. Take your kids to Lapland to further reinforce the lies you tell your kids. Piles of presents so the kids have "lots of stuff to open".
I choose to opt out.

I’ve grown to hate Xmas a bit since I’ve had kids, which seems the wrong way round. But it now represents to me a fucktonne of work and stress, whereas pre kids I just naively enjoyed other family members’ fucktonnes of work, without realising how stressed they probably were!! I’m sure I’m doing something wrong but now it feels like a day that’s all about everyone else and my wishes are irrelevant.

I hate that everyone seems to be put under pressure to have the 'perfect' Christmas, make Christmas 'magical', get into the Christmas spirit etc and be constantly smiling in the Christmas period. For parents in particular this seems to start earlier and earlier and involve more and more work and expense (eg. Xmas eve boxes, expensive advent calendars, elf on the shelf, xmas jumper day etc etc). I also hate that people feel obliged to spend money that can't afford on gifts.

Even as someone who is lucky enough to have my DH and DC around me I don't feel I can escape the feeling at this time of year that I am somehow lacking. According to TV, magazines, shops, social media etc for the whole of December we should all have hundreds of parties to go to, have a perfectly decorated home, have a kitchen fully stocked with party food for all those times that friends and family drop in, look glamorous, buy hundreds of gifts for all our friends and family (each one perfect for that person), throw ourselves in to local/school events, have special family traditions, cook an incredible Xmas dinner (all from scratch) with all the traditional side dishes but with a modern twist, have a fully stocked wine cellar and spirits cabinet (but never get drunk), and carry on the fun to end with a huge New Year party. All whilst smiling and looking lovely of course.

I took the decision years ago to have a simpler Xmas. It is far less stressful and more enjoyable but I do still get pangs of guilt that I'm not doing Xmas right- especially on Xmas day when I am not up at 5am to start cooking as my mum used to do. It must be bloody awful for anyone who is a bit lonely anyway or is struggling for money and/or time without Xmas.

Since my parents died it hasn't been the same and means little to me now. Their house was the "centre of operations" where we all gathered and had such a fun day. No fuss, everyone mucked in and there were some (funny) food disasters too. Dad was the comedian, Mum was the organiser (handed out jobs) and there was often noisy chaos full of excited kids, tipsy Aunt Kay, and Granny Emily with early dementia.

Now that they are gone, each family has their own traditions. We do all gather in my sister's house at around 11am for drinks and nibbles, coffee whatever. It is lovely to be with everyone. Then we all peel off and do our own thing.

For the first time ever, this year myself and DP are going away for Christmas. So I will host the brunch gathering before we leave.

I suppose I am indifferent to it now. I ignore all the hype and tat and commercialism and just enjoy seeing family all together in the one place.