Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

XL Bully Around Children

186 replies

Popcornlassie28 · 07/11/2023 14:06

Hi,

My SIL has decided to buy a XL bully dog (yes I know they are in the process of being banned by the government).

I was bitten by a bully type dog as a child when I was round a friend’s house having a play date so I’m naturally on edge about this.

I have two small children (and she has an older school age child) and I’ve expressed I’m not comfortable with the children visiting the house with the dog there but she is welcome to visit us here.

They think I’m being OTT and said that the dog is fine and not all are aggressive. She is refusing to muzzle or put the dog away as she said it’s a pet that needs to be socialised with people and putting the dog away will add to the issue.

Seeing all the news about these dogs at the moment makes me think I’m being responsible as one bite can kill and be devastating.

I know it’s a nature verses nurture debate and people think it’s how they are raised and not their breed but I don’t know enough about this breed to comment.

Am I being unreasonable to not allow the children over?

OP posts:
mindutopia · 07/11/2023 14:12

It would be a no, from me. You can express your concern about the risks to her own children (and it sounds like you have done). But it's a no, be firm, stick with your decision. Your children come first. It may also be worth pointing out to her though that it's unlikely YOU will be the only person to feel this way. I would not let my dc have a playdate at the house of someone who I believed had a potentially dangerous dog (of any breed). This will have far reaching impacts on her children's friendship circles and their social interactions, birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. in the future.

Newuser75 · 07/11/2023 14:11

I've said this before on here but I'll say it again.

I have worked with dogs my whole adult life. I have studied animal behaviour to a high level. Under no circumstances would I allow my children anywhere near one of these type of dogs.

While it is true that appropriate socialisation and habituation can ensure a happy, confident dog of any type these are extremely powerful dogs and if they were to bite there could easily be a situation where if they were to bite the results (as seen in the media) would be catastrophic for an adult let alone a child.

Any dog can bite. Not every dog can kill.

Having one of these dogs near kids is (in my opinion) madness.

bombastix · 07/11/2023 14:11

It's not so much come for dinner as "come to my house and be dinner for the dog".

Your SIL is stupid.

Ffsmakeitstop · 07/11/2023 14:11

Absolutely not being unreasonable. What planet does she live on? Why is she not even muzzle training if that's going to be the law? Stick to your guns and stay away.

Whatdidtheromanseverdoforus · 07/11/2023 14:11

Well if you’re unreasonable, then so am I . It’d be a cold day in hell before my little ones set foot in that house again. Does she know she’s looking at close to 300 a month for the insurance? Is she aware that if it escapes and takes itself for a jolly ( like they often do) it’ll be shot? She wants an IQ test for bringing an animal into her home that can easily kill her or her child.

FooFighter99 · 07/11/2023 14:10

I love dogs, and have a Rottweiler so I'm not unfamiliar with large breeds and even I wouldn't trust an XL Bully.

They're bred with no regard for their health or temperament and usually owned by idiots who don't bother training and socialising them.

Keep your children safe and do NOT let them be alone with the dog

Just curious, is it a brand new puppy or an older dog that she is rehoming?

drspouse · 07/11/2023 14:09

Why on earth has she bought one?

Lemsipper · 07/11/2023 14:09

You are not being unreasonable.

The fact she bought it even though she knows they are about to be banned is incredibly stupid on her behalf….Id personally make a remark to that effect too.

Don’t feel bad and protect those kids.

Popcornlassie28 · 07/11/2023 14:09

Thank you! They are not allowed over at all. My SIL can visit here without the dog.

OP posts:
Jessica167353 · 07/11/2023 14:09

Absolutely no way would I put myself or my children anywhere near that dog.

bombastix · 07/11/2023 14:08

No.

You fancy indulging your sister at the cost of your children and your own safety, go ahead.