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Original poster

Gym response to being flashed in ladies changing room?

234 replies

Yajebbend · 06/11/2023 21:16

A male entered the female changing room and flashed at me late last Saturday night. I was alone and naked. I reported to the gym who have said that they checked the cameras three times and can’t see a male entering. It must be on there somewhere it happened, I’m raging about it and the response. I want him identified so I can report to police.

aibu to think this isn’t good enough

OP posts:
Original poster
Yajebbend · 14/11/2023 00:27

It’s north west branch

OP posts:
Original poster
Yajebbend · 14/11/2023 00:26

I reported via 101 online form got confirmation and reference number but not heard anything back. I emailed general manager of branch to advise I have informed police and a request to retain cctv but nothing from them either. It’s just really weird like I am completely invisible

OP posts:
Blueink · 11/11/2023 12:32

Yajebbend · 10/11/2023 17:48

Not heard a thing. Gym said duty manager would call me back on Monday but not heard anything from anyone

What actually happened when you reported to police OP?

Have you been in to the local station to make a statement?

menopausalmare · 11/11/2023 09:44

Go higher. If the duty manager is ignoring you, contact the owner. If I owned that gym, I'd like to know it was being run responsibly.

jeaux90 · 11/11/2023 08:50

Police OP. This may seem "low level" but these offenders always escalate.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/11/2023 03:37

Please go and make a stink with the police. Remind them of Wayne Couzins.

CormorantStrikesBack · 10/11/2023 23:14

I’d certainly love to know which branch it is! I was in the ladies changing room last week and someone walked past me and my mate who was well over 6ft. I never really looked at them but did clock they were very tall and assumed it was a woman, but my friend said it was a bloke.

SwordToFlamethrower · 10/11/2023 23:05

Where are you? Let's organise a protest outside the gym?

easylikeasundaymorn · 10/11/2023 18:12

I would message them telling them not to overwrite the cctv for that day - if they say they already have, kick up a stink, ask for their data retention policy etc - most systems only manually overwrite after 28 days.

Sugarfree23 · 10/11/2023 18:10

What about the police are they not interested either?

Papillon23 · 10/11/2023 17:54

Gosh that's appalling. I'd feel really frustrated in your situation. Is it worth following up with 101? It's sometimes a long wait but you'd think they'd want to get CCTV footage before it's overwritten or whatever.

Original poster
Yajebbend · 10/11/2023 17:48

Not heard a thing. Gym said duty manager would call me back on Monday but not heard anything from anyone

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 10/11/2023 08:14

OP did you hear back from the Police?

hookiewookie29 · 08/11/2023 12:03

Loubelle70 · 06/11/2023 22:32

Absolutely Mob rules! My ex...Assault lol are you serious?when someone has in essence flashed my one year old...thats sexual assault. Flash me and you get whats coming. And he did!. I have no care... the right thing was done. 32 years ago..would have took ages for police to come out..not risking him doing to others. Hopefully he would have stopped eh.. with his toothless mouth. Oh btw...my daughter stayed in with his friends girlfriend whilst i sat in the back car..gave i.d...spotted him as i couldn't see from back seat...we stopped..i properly identified him.. and he got less than what he deserved. So don't even go there with me

Edited
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32 years ago the response from the police would have been very, very different to what it is now- I would have been 23 back then and I can remember that being flashed at being joked about as something that 'dirty old men' did and it was something that wasn't taken seriously by many people. Let's hope he didn't do it again after your partners 'intervention '!

savoycabbage · 08/11/2023 09:49

OP says he was definitely male and entered wearing a towel.

I know that, I was answering a question.

Hibiscrubbed · 08/11/2023 07:13

Loubelle70 · 06/11/2023 22:32

Absolutely Mob rules! My ex...Assault lol are you serious?when someone has in essence flashed my one year old...thats sexual assault. Flash me and you get whats coming. And he did!. I have no care... the right thing was done. 32 years ago..would have took ages for police to come out..not risking him doing to others. Hopefully he would have stopped eh.. with his toothless mouth. Oh btw...my daughter stayed in with his friends girlfriend whilst i sat in the back car..gave i.d...spotted him as i couldn't see from back seat...we stopped..i properly identified him.. and he got less than what he deserved. So don't even go there with me

Edited
Show quote history

You seem to think this is some mic drop moment, but it’s not…

Rosscameasdoody · 07/11/2023 23:07

savoycabbage · 07/11/2023 07:23

Why does it matter ? He entered the women’s’ changing room and flashed a naked woman alone in the room.

It matters because the gym say a male didn't enter.

Who are they calling male matters because a male did enter. If they have footage of a person entering the changing room who they don't think is male on whatever grounds - then they do have CCTV.

OP says he was definitely male and entered wearing a towel.

Blueink · 07/11/2023 23:00

So glad you were able to report OP. How did they respond? Hope they took it a lot more seriously than DL and you felt validated.

IMO DL should’ve been offering to call the police as soon as you reported a crime on their premises.

We have seen how serious flashing is as a precursor to rape and murder of women. It was so much in the public eye after the vile Wayne Couzens case.

DL have absolutely no excuse and their lack of duty of care is disgusting. I would be cancelling my membership with immediate effect, hit them in the pocket OP!

Divebar2021 · 07/11/2023 22:29

There may be a number of reasons why staff haven’t seen a male enter the changing room…. Saying they can’t see it on CCTV isn’t the same as denying the event happened. It might be poor angles for the cameras in the relevant corridor or the system timer could be wrong and they are watching the wrong part of the tape. ( especially as clocks have recently changed ) It does sound like they’re under reacting though… their system should be able to tell them who was in the gym at the time. Fingers crossed he’s identified soon. I can remember being flashed at 30 years ago and it still makes me uneasy. I don’t know why people are unphased by it - it’s vile.

MidnightOnceMore · 07/11/2023 22:14

Hope the police are helpful, whatever the outcome @Yajebbend

Take it easy for a bit, bloody shitty experience.

Sugarfree23 · 07/11/2023 22:13

Good luck Op I hope they take it seriously

HRTQueen · 07/11/2023 22:08

Glad to hear that

I had to report a man who was harassing me to the police after I had reported him to Virgin (he was employed by them and fitted tv/phone line) . They showed no interest at all but the police did

Original poster
Yajebbend · 07/11/2023 22:05

Thanks all so much for support and validation. Reported to
police today and will update

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 07/11/2023 21:49

I can't believe any 11 or 12 yo boy would be seen dead in the ladies changing rooms.

fuzzleberry · 07/11/2023 18:38

DLname · 07/11/2023 18:19

I agree that DL hate women. My sister works there and her ex is a member who has been in trouble for stalking her and harassing her to the extent the police have been involved and spoken to him more than once. He’s a member there and sits and watches her while she’s working at the bar. She’s asked for him to be banned and the managers say he’s a member and he’s not doing anything wrong by sitting in the members lounge by the bar. 🤷‍♀️.

I get that he hasn’t done anything illegal but if the managers wanted to protect a vulnerable female employee they could do, they can ban who they want. But they refuse. But they also illegally withhold sick pay and discriminate against staff against the Equality Act.

Ive been there today and there was a male boy in the changing rooms as tall as me (5ft4”), no way was he under 9yo. There is often 11yo, 12yo boys in there ogling the females getting changed (what pre teen boy wouldn’t). Including their female classmates if they happen to be there! I mean I do blame the mothers but the club won’t crack down on it and enforce their own rules! They say the kids could have learning difficulties. Well my friends dd is in the same secondary school class as one regular attendee and says he’s got no learning difficulties to the extent he can’t get himself dressed!

I've been discussing these experiences with DH today as we're both at our DL most days. I don't think I've seen anything like this but find mgt totally useless on other issues so I'm not surprised