Relative burned through funds and now mooching

@coldcallerbaiter

Well I hope he is gone. But if he is faking that, I think he'll lie low for awhile, long enough to make it seem like he 'gave it a go'. So it's at least a reprieve.

Just don't let your guard down.

Like all grifters he resents you for what you've done for him. He feels aggrieved because you haven't given him what he wants.

If you did give him what he wanted he'd feel aggrieved because you didn't turn cartwheels too.

Ha, money problems because she doesn’t want to give him a load of freeloading! The only possible explanation in his mind, it couldn’t possibly be that he was being utterly unreasonable.

His tactic failed to return the desired result so he's retreated to formulate a new plan.

Given that it is difficult to trust anything that he says, you are always going to be left wondering. Not being honest, or revealing plans, is possibly how he feels that he can be in control and one step ahead of everyone. In my experience, it leaves you vigilant and constantly looking over your shoulder for the next manoeuvre. I think he played his hand too early and misjudged both your mother’s level of competence and the amount of support and communication she has with you. It is unlikely that he won’t turn up again with a fresh crisis but I hope, for all your sakes, that he just thinks that particular well is dry.

He may be lurking around the corner in a B&B.

He can get pension credit which is around the same amount as contribution based pension but gives entitlement to cold weather payments too.

My first thought was, he hasn't gone anywhere...

@coldcallerbaiter I would label irrational to worry that he may actually be lurking quietly in the UK. It seems to fit with his past behaviour.
If he’s gone back to the other country on a UK passport would this be on a tourist visa and for a limited time?

I want to say I'm relieved for both you and your mum that he's gone but this is probably just another step in whatever he's planning next. I really would not take my eye off the ball where he's concerned. He's probably thinking things will settle down, it'll all be forgotten about and bam, he'll be back with some other sob story about things going wrong. In the meantime, enjoy the peace and best wishes to your mum for a speedy recovery from her surgery.

Is there any chance that he never sold the property in the other country and has just gone back there? I wondered if he said he sold it, in order to prevent him being told to just go back and live in it - but we was intending to wait it out in your mum's house and then sell the property to give him plenty of money to splash about after she'd gone?

Is he able to claim any benefits here yet? I have known people visit the UK often enough to convince the DWP that they're resident here to continue a claim, and keep access to the money despite being abroad. Though that's usually with pensions (as there are understandably fewer checks/in person appointments than say, unemployment benefits)

He will if he’s a British citizen returning from abroad. He’ll have automatic right of abode in the UK. If he passes the ordinarily resident test on resettling here he will be immediately entitled to free NHS care and access to means tested benefits.

If he's been living abroad for years he won't be entitled to welfare benefits or free healthcare.

I think you and your mother should make it clear to him that this is temporary. You should then help your mother, with his knowledge, draft a letter to the council telling them that she cannot house him any longer and is making him homeless. Make two copies - send one to the council housing department and give one to him. He should then go to the council housing department with the letter and say he is homeless. They will then put him in temporary accommodation I should think, and on the urgent list for housing. This happened to a friend with her small child and it all worked out okay. The council won't help him if they think your mother will.

I remember a case at our local church where an elderly man and his wife had been living in Spain. Wife died, he couldn't manage without her, they only rented out there and he lost the house. He came back here and turned up at the church. They paid for him to stay in a Travelodge for a week and helped him approach the council for housing.

I'd just be glad he was gone @coldcallerbaiter.
I imagine he thought your poor DM would say Oh No, don't go! Stay here please.
Hope your DM is well recovered now and moochy-moocherson stays away.

Fingers crossed he has gone for good. Spongers like him are harder to get rid of than a sticky bogey!

@coldcallerbaiter

Well, obviously your mum needs to keep her landline. Would she be able to 'work with' a phone with caller ID? Looking at the numbers and remembering which numbers to answer and which to let go to voicemail? My mum at 84 would have been fine doing so, but by 90 my brother (who was her carer) had to take the phone out of the living room and put it in his room because she was answering calls and giving out personal information or agreeing to 'charity donations' or visits by salespeople. Luckily no one ever got her bank details off her!

As far as his property, I know he said he sold his but do you know for sure he did? It's quite possible that either he didn't, he had other property, or if he did he secured those funds. It would make sense as far as him having 'fallback money' in case your mum refused to take him in. And when your mum took him in he decided to scam your mum by pleading poverty so he could keep that fallback money 'just in case'. This would also explain why he isn't 'homeless' and begging to come back.

And if he is on the run from 'someone who would harm him' I wouldn't want him within 50 miles of my mum (or anyone I cared about).