To not get paying thousands for a wedding?

I don’t get all the money spent
the hen do weeks before
the saving for 3 years

jyst have a wedding, drinks down the pub a few days before. Then a big meal or buffet and a small holiday afterwards

If you are loaded then fine but I will never understand people who go into debt for one day just to keep up with the Joneses.

Ours was only £2.5k but a beautiful day and everyone loved it. Yanbu op we could never have spent loads.

I agree OP and I just don’t get it. Why would you spend the money on a single day, even if it was an amazing day? Fair enough if you only spent a couple of grand or you earn huge amounts of money, but I think most people get caught up in the nonsense of it

I've been to a wedding that cost over 100,000 didn't even last a year, it was a very hard wedding, my brother in laws, all about putting on a show and people pleasing. I've been to a wedding about £30k max range. And it was honestly one of the best weddings a I've ever been too. Close to the bride and they now have had a family. At events people still talk about how amazing her wedding was. Never been to one like it. They made sure everyone was cared for, looked after and also themselves. They understood they were combining families etc. Also been to a very tight budget wedding again that didn't last. I think it's genuinely about the couple and there intention, a wedding is about then and the joining of two families. My brother is spending £20k on his, means the world to him that we're all taken care of what he wants. Me, still engaged but a joke owner and started a family. All have had the similar cash to play with, all chose what to do with it. I wanted to have a home, family and get married whenever, I think as I worked in the wedding industry for years I just can not be bothered. I'm happy and one day I'll get married just not spending a fortune on it, plus I love a good holiday

I completely agree with you OP. I think it’s grotesque. But I’m not from a background where anyone has 20k+ to spare, the only time I’ve ever had that amount of money in my life was a result of several years saving for a flat deposit. I think the wedding industry is capitalism on steroids, and frankly every expensive instagrammable “perfect” wedding day looks exactly the same so I don’t really understand why people want to pay that much to have something so ubiquitous. If you want a party just have a party, don’t tell the venue it’s for a wedding and it’ll probably be half the price. I really don’t understand the mentality of signing a legal contract with serious financial implications just so you can spunk 50k on a banquet in a stately home. Oh and wedding dresses mostly look ridiculous.

It’s really hard not to spend thousands if you want to celebrate with family and friends. We paid £10k 19 years ago and it was lovely but not lavish. Mum made the cake, we made our name cards and invites etc.

Well why start a thread about her then OP? You’re judging her, & wanting others to join in slating her, for spending what you deem to be a ridiculous amount on her wedding. I don’t get what it has to do with you or why you care?

my wedding was about £10k but we budgeted £6k -
however some family decided they wanted to contribute which was not at all expected or required.

We worked out what we could comfortably save in 12 months and that was our budget. No debt, no bollocks.

I'm quite frugal but we spent around £8k. I actually wish I'd spent more and cut corners less.

Ours cost less than £500. I did the catering myself, bought some table decorations and favours, paid for help with the catering and washing /clearing up on the day, hired a hall, bought an undecorated wedding cake from M&S and some sugar flower decorations from Amazon, paid for the celebrant, a dress for me and a suit for him. 7 years ago, 40 of our nearest and dearest. It was a lovely day.

£2K 20 years ago. There is apparently an inverse proportionality regarding the cost of a wedding to how long the marriage lasts.

In saying that, I went to a £20k+ wedding in a very beautiful Yorkshire location. Turns out that the bride essentially just wanted a registry office wedding and big party. So there's 200+ folk sitting in random hotel bars and hallways as the bride, groom, best man and bridesmaid bugger off for an hour to do the legal bit in the event places chapel.

No one had a clue beforehand, weird as fuck, especially he family that had travelled hours from Scotland to stay in the £300 odd a night hotel. I now need to go have a search to see if I can find their social media, curious if they're still together.

we could've just spent the night out on the piss in Edinburgh for all the difference it made.

I don't get it either. Friends of mine got married last year and they've got themselves into so much debt for it, they're going to be paying it off for at least the next 15 years.

IMO I'd be happy with close family at the local register office, then hire a social club for a party and a buffet in the evening. I think I could get the whole thing done for under £1k, and I would still have such an amazing time.

Good for you for being above all the silly wedding nonsense. So original and cool. I bet you're not like most girls, are you?

How unpleasant you sound @Bigredjumper

We spent £5k over 25 years ago. That was when you could only get married in church or a registry office.
Ours was expensive for the time purely because of the numbers invited rather than the reception venue costs. Our other big costs were my wedding dress and DH kilt, which he had made to measure. We did save money on cars (free from a friend who worked in car hire and a black cab rather than limousine); wedding cake made by colleagues DH; and a relative who played the bagpipes.

We're still together.

Ours cost about £8k, 12 years ago. It wasn't particularly extravagant but catering was important and cost a lot, and a big extended family guest list. I don't think a wedding costing thousands (4 figures) is particularly extravagant, especially if you have a big family and want decent food. We are in London as well, so everything costs more. We skimped on a lot of stuff - very basic photographer, dress bought online, no flowers or DJ/entertainers, used our own cars/normal taxis. We could afford it and didn't have to save specifically (we have a good income and always save a proportion of it).

Mine was £10k, 30 years ago, worth every penny, divorced after 20 years.

I'm planning to spend no more than £3k on our wedding next year, we've both been married before so we're keeping it simple.

Nah, I don't think people regret it. Even the ones who divorce. It's one day but very important for some. I couldn't justify it but my friend is, she'll be over 20k easily while putting saving for a house on hold (it's not what I would prioritise, it's not my money though). Each to their own. It doesn't half make me cringe though. I spent next to nothing on my wedding, it was the happiest day of my life, I don't think spending big makes that feeling any better.

Ours cost less than £5k seven years ago. We weren't going to have a honeymoon but came in so far under budget that we could afford one! I don't see the point in spending tens of thousands and having all the 'extras' which make the cost creep up.

I don't get it either, but if it's what people want to do more power to them. I'm sure what we did wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea either.

We had a cheapo wedding and then spent our hard saved thousands to fuck off travelling for a year-long honeymoon instead. It was cracking, far nicer to have a whole year of amazing experiences than just one massive very expensive day.

Ours was £17k last year and I don’t regret it but we didn’t get into debt for it. How do you know how your friend is paying for it? Lots of family were generous offering help for our wedding. You don’t get much £1k these days!

I think people can spend however much they want on a wedding but if you have to borrow money to do it, you clearly can’t afford it.

It’s one thing putting a few things on credit cards here and there, that’s completely understandable and makes financial sence. Why borrow money from family members/friends/whoever just to fund a wedding? I personally can’t understand that