To not get paying thousands for a wedding?

I’d never do it but then I’ve never been interested in getting married anyway. What other people want to do with their money is up to them though ( of course).

25 years ago you spent 5k! That’s when my high school friends started getting married - I can’t think of anyone who spent as much as that. And you depended upon free/cheap labour from family and friends as well.

Its really incredible to me that having yourself had an expensive wedding despite using family and friends a quarter of a century ago you can’t fathom how people spend money on weddings now.

Absolutely insightless, and yet so smug about something so pointless.

Amazing.

Spent about £17000 around 15 years ago - had church ceremony but then onto a marquee reception in a local field. 110 guests and provided canapés, hog roast, curry and finally cheese,port and chips - had vegetarian options as well. All alcohol and sort drinks,tea coffee free also. The £17000 included all dresses,suits,flowers and make up - and the band and photographer. So cheap because was an open venue with no preferred suppliers - present list was with booze merchant or caterers so whatever anyone gifted they enjoyed at wedding reception!

The average wedding at a proper venue is expensive these days, even without loads of "extras". We spent around £20k on ours this year and I have no regrets. We wanted our wedding day to be a big, special event because we're not planning on doing it again. Our marriage doesn't mean any more or less than it would if we'd eloped or had a smaller/cheaper wedding but the celebration was important to us.

I'll never understand people complaining about how much other people spend on weddings. No one's forcing you to do the same are they?

I spent £12k and borrowed some of that from brother (paid back within a year as I was then earning well).

I kind of do regret it, yes. I never expected a big white wedding it just all snowballed. First you need a licenced venue and of course the more expensive ones are the prettiest. And so many people asked what my dress would be like that I abandoned my plan to get something I could wear again and spent £1k on an uncomfortable dress that wasn’t even particularly flattering.

The bbq was ok and the favours were great but things like the church told us we needed to use their usual flower lady and then needed to donate the flowers to the church after the service 🧐 I wasn’t in the mood to argue but money was wasted yes. At least I did my own hair n make up n bouquet.

I do regret not having a photographer for longer, we hired him for 4 hrs and no one remembered to take photos at the evening party.

I dunno, had a fab day but it was all a bit too traditional and expensive. I wanted to take our parents on holiday and get married on a beach but DH said no. Then I wanted to have a big picnic and a band but DH said no. He was more about making a statement about his career success to his colleagues I think.

And odd day culminating in some of the worst sex I’ve had. 🤷‍♀️

I think it's crazy too.

Ok OP yeah & let me guess, you spent next to nothing on your wedding & that makes you think you’re so superior to your silly ‘friend’ who feels the need to spend loads on her wedding…you bore off, you sound jealous to me.

You’re not ‘in the minority’ at all. A lot of people just nip down the register office with two witnesses. We did that and took our witnesses out for a fancy lunch, and still had change of £500.

All in, ours was upwards of £20k, altho we had contributions from family of about £8k. It was absolutely fantastic and I’d do it all again exactly the same, given the time again. We wanted the guests to have a brilliant time and they did. Our priorities were lots of great food, plenty to drink, great entertainment and, of course, for it all to look pretty! We could’ve found other uses for the money, but that was what we wanted. I’ve been to wonderful weddings that clearly cost a bomb and I’ve been to just as lovely weddings that were done on a shoestring.. they’re all fabulous in their own way.
You always get the guff on here about how only cheap weddings make a happy marriage… I’d beg to differ, I’m terribly fond of my lovely husband!

I don’t care what anyone spends..good luck to you but “our guests told us it was the best best wedding they’d ever been to “ is no measure ! Sooo many people say that!

The ones where the flowers are lavish, hoards of bridesmaids, hours of photos but guests are left without drinks or refreshments in a shitty reception room with everything about how it looks on instagram are where I think it’s a waste.

The majority of our money went on catering and the bar. I didn’t have a professional photographer, bridesmaids, makeup artists, fancy chair covers or formal dining. Appreciate that we didn’t need to hire a venue.

Considering the prevalence of affairs and the challenges that modern relationships face, I can't help but wonder if allocating those funds towards more practical and lasting investments would be a wiser choice. Perhaps directing that money towards securing a family home, building a solid financial foundation, or even investing in experiences that strengthen the bond between partners might be a more pragmatic approach.

The idea here is not to undermine the significance of a wedding ceremony, but rather to question the societal pressure and expectations that often drive couples to spend exorbitantly on a single event. Prioritizing financial stability and long-term security, especially in a world where uncertainties abound, seems like a rational consideration. It's about striking a balance between celebrating a meaningful commitment and making practical choices that contribute to a stable and fulfilling future.

@Merryoldgoat I'm with you there! I find it bonkers people spend all this money but then your guests still have a pay bar because you've blown it all on a silly venue or a horse and carriage. I'm dead against making people pay for drinks but I know it's an accepted norm nowadays. Only invite as many people as you can afford to host is my feeling!

I'm with the OP too in that I don't feel comfortable with people saving 2 years for one day of their lives, it puts so much pressure on it. Whereas that money could alleviate so much other stresses they'll have in their early years of marriage - it'll allow them to take a good length maternity leave and nursery fees if kids come along, that sort of thing.

Tbh, I'm just not a party person so don't really get the fuss. The B&G ending up spending £100+ per guest, the guests spend at least that on travel, gift, fresh outfit elements, childcare, overnight stay etc. It's all an industry con as far as I'm concerned!

Well if you’re not judging her OP then I don’t understand the point of this thread. Are you worried that your wedding will be compared unfavourably to her expensive wedding? Do you regret how much you spent on yours? Why would anyone on here care about how much a couple we don’t know spend on getting married? Just admit that you’re sneering at her wedding/financial decisions 😂

Ours cost about £10k but that was 29 years ago. As was more usual then, my parents (dad and stepmum) paid the majority. I paid for me and my (1) bridesmaids dress, dh paid for suits for him and his best man. Mil paid flowers. Fil was too tight to offer anything. My mum and her husband paid part of the honeymoon (typically they gave us something that my dad wouldn't benefit from).

Even 29 years on I wouldn't change a thing. There were so few choices back then, no one was thinking about reportage style photos for the whole day, or chair covers, or sweetie carts or fish and chip vans, etc etc etc......

We got married in the church my family had gone to for years and had the reception in a local hotel. We had an evening out for our stag/hen dos. My friend made the dresses. Dh got a suit he wore to weddings until he got too fat for it!

It didn't feel cheap, or restricted. It was pretty much what weddings were like back then and ours came in a little under the average at that time.

I also think WHAT you spend on is telling.

We spent almost all of our money on catering and booze (free bar all night), had no evening guests, allowed and catered properly for kids.

Did the flowers, decorating, place settings etc ourselves.

The ones where the flowers are lavish, hoards of bridesmaids, hours of photos but guests are left without drinks or refreshments in a shitty reception room with everything about how it looks on instagram are where I think it’s a waste.

£12k but we had help from parents. I don’t regret any of it - we had a fantastic day. Would never have spent that if it’d meant us getting in debt though.

i set a budget of 10k and the aim was to save 1k a month over 10 months. I didn’t want to use our savings or get any loans.

however we got almost all of it back in cash gifts on the day - although it’s not guaranteed, it is very common to receive a large amount of cash as wedding gifts.

we are in Ireland and from my experience as a guest you try to cover at least the cost of your attendance.
Even if I had know how much we would be given I think the budget we had worked for us

We spent thousands. About six, if I remember correctly. That included the honeymoon.

140-150 guests all day, no separate evening do, including children. We gained a few as the day went on. Free bar too.

Worth every penny.

I’d not waste money on a wedding personally. Registry office jobby would be my max.

I don't know how much ours was. We eloped somewhere far-flung, but it was only us and combined 3 week holiday/honeymoon.

If I was guessing I'd say somewhere in the region of £15k? But that included flights to three countries and circumnavigating the globe so I don't regret the expense.

I wouldn't want to spent 20k plus on a one day event in the UK unless money was no object.

It is ridiculous if you can't afford it, but if you can then it is no more ridiculous than spending money on anything else...