AIBU to be a bit peeved that dh doesn’t take any food likes and dislikes in to account when cooking for the family?

Aside from how you feel about the menu, his children need a balanced diet and he’s failing to provide that for them. He is being selfish in deliberately ignoring the needs of others and not contributing equally to the chores.

Maybe buy those freezer bags of frozen veg to just Chuck in and add to a meal.

Either help or let him get on with it. You both work from home, no reason if you don’t like his lunch you couldn’t prep your old salad and boiled eggs or something.

Teenage children, so again able to help chop up a few carrots or broccoli to go along with foods or even take over two nights a week.

Frankly I find the planning and cooking a tiring bore. Trying not to have too many of the same too close, but something I actually like since I’m the one making it so there should be a plus side vs making it as healthy as it should be, add in a few picky ish children and I end up with meals on rotation a lot.

So if you don't like what he makes for lunch when you're wfh just make something else. God we just grab our own sandwich or fruit/crisps when we're free between meetings and eat at our desks. I can't imagine having a proper lunch break when someone cooks when we're wfh.

I get the dinner stuff is annoying (there really is no veg there!) but you're going to have to share the cooking and then share some of your other chores with him. We only eat together at the weekend really, we cook for kids alternately depending who is in London and who is at home and then look after ourselves for our dinner in the week, I had homemade soup with the kids today but my partner wouldn't touch my homemade soup so he bought himself a sandwich from work and had that. I do find the mumsnet fixation with formal meals a bit odd, it's only food and if you don't like it just have a bit of toast, you're not going to starve for missing one meal.

YANBU. Lazy meals are fine here and there, but it sounds like he's doing them almost every time, and this doesn't sound like a healthy or balanced diet. Maybe figure out some interim compromises like doing a big pan of soup that can last for a few lunches, and quick veg that can be done to go with dinner.

By that metric, OP can repaint the entire house dark purple as she’s the decorator so therefore DH gets no say.

OP, I suggest F&B Brinjal: on the ceilings too.

That's not cooking, that's mostly ready meal shite which is not acceptable in 2023. Surely he should know better. It makes me think even thinking about having that day in, day out. All of that is treat, comfort food, not nutritious and healthy enough for an every day family meal.

Yup, as PP have said, reorganise chores so you have a rota for cooking in which your DD get a night each to cook as well as you. That way if you and your DD are generally cooking lighter healthier meals they will tend to outweigh the heavier, red meat based stuff your DH serves.

If a woman came on here to say her dh wasn't happy with the 8 meals a week she was responsible for (vs his 4) there would he a responding chorus of "tell the cheeky fucker to make his own then"

This place is hilarious sometimes.

If the kids are teens they are old enough to cook one night. Especially if dd is health conscious and wants to cook something healthy.

my 12 and 14 year old ds’s both like to cook and will help out cooking something midweek when I’m busy. Ds12 made a delicious stir fry a couple weeks ago, went to the shops himself and chose all the veggies and chopped them up. This week he cooked a homemade lamb mince and veg pie which was delicious.

Is he stuck in a rut with a limited repertoire? How about introducing meat free Mondays to get him to step away from the perceived convenience of meat as a meal?

@Borageandchips

why don’t you just make your own lunch op?

I agree with a PP. Make meal planning a family affair with a session each week. Get the DDs cooking weekly - a good skill if they want to eat ever, and everyone gets to choose a meal they like. The other meals (3?) could be standard roast, chilli, curry type fare.

Would make things interesting too. You might try things you haven't before.

Yanbu.
I wouldn't want sausages 3 days in a row either.

Rotate the cooking.

Sunday - he cooks, but as you join in with the cooking, you take charge of there being more veg
Monday - dd1 cooks
Tuesday - you cook
Wednesday - dd2 cooks
Thursday - dh cooks
Friday - start a new tradition whereby everyone who is home, grabs something from the fridge & sorts themselves out. Because Friday is 'out out' night & your dds are either with mates, or if at home can rustle up an individual omelette/toastie & salad?
Saturday - have something from the freezer. Life is short.

You & the dds cook stuff which is healthier, they pick up a life skill & everyone wins.

But do balance it by dh picking up slack elsewhere.

Can you swap so he does cleaning and you do cooking? Or give him all the laundry instead?

I'd be heartbroken by the lack of veg!

Like others have said, if you both share in the cooking (children too?) it might help him feel less like he's taking orders and more like you're all trying to be healthier as a family.

Can you meal plan together?

An easy solution seems to me that everyone does their own lunch? You can easily have soup or a salad and then you won't mind having a heavier evening meal.

But YANBU that he should be cooking some veg with every meal. I think you need to put your foot down there.

But he's not really doing that. Cooking from scratch for the family involves producing a variety of balanced meals with veg, chopping, stirring, following recipes, not ready made sausage rolls and shoving some meat in the air fryer each night.

He isn’t serving you food you have sensory issues with, that causes you physical discomfort, or that you even actively dislike. He just isn’t curating a menu that meets your desires.

if you don’t like his cooking, then I suggest you start rotating food preparation duties. If he is doing the work, he should get to pick the menu.

Why have you split the chores up this way? He’s obviously not entirely suited to being the sole meal planner and cook.

Is it because he does other jobs in a bit of a shit way, or doesn’t bother, but cooking at least is regular and gets done?

No vegetables and heavy on processed meat like sausages is bad for everyone. He should know this.

Why don't you make your own lunch and have what you like?

My DH and I both work from home but sort out our own lunches as we want different things at different times depending on when we have meetings etc.

I do think he should add some more veg. But perhaps everyone could help a bit more with cooking and meal ideas- especially the dc if they are older?

Quite simply, if you want more say on the meals that get served, then chip in with the planning, shopping and cooking of them.