AIBU to be a bit peeved that dh doesn’t take any food likes and dislikes in to account when cooking for the family?

I cook the majority of food for my ds and I, I often ask him for ideas for dinner because it’s so boring deciding every day, but also because I want us both to enjoy it. I wouldn’t make something he actively dislikes.
I think your dh is being a selfish dick only cooking for himself. I’m not a health fanatic in any way, but he’s also making a lot of stodge!

I cook all the meals at home. I often ask everyone what they would like but don’t get much response. Kids are too young, 3 and 7 years so they would say nuggets and fries every night if asked.

DH says whatever you make I will eat. So I ensure all meals are made with some protein, carbs and veg in a balanced form. So for example rice, chicken curry, aubergine fry, lentil curry, green beans was dinner last night.

Other meals are tray bake of chicken, onions, potatoes, chorizo, served with garlic bread and greek salad. The kids have garlic bread we usually avoid as we already have some potatoes from the tray bake. Everyone has A bowl of fruit post meal And the kids love cucumber so they have that with their meal whatever the meal is.

So if you are cooking it is important to include healthy nutritious meals. And i do make specials on the weekend depending on occasion like biryani (meat and rice asian dish) etc. for festivals or birthdays or other favourites which the kids or DH likes.

Good, glad to hear it @Borageandchips I'm an eternal optimist, who believes that most people are up for negotiation on almost anything when both parties are acting calmly in good faith, listening to each other. I wasn't hopeful about your DH from the way you described things, but glad to be wrong and hope it works well for all of you

Regardless of who is cooking you should meal plan together, deciding what’s for dinner is the worst part of being an adult so is defo a joint job if you want to try and keep everyone happy!

I do maybe 40% of the cooking and 80% of food shopping. I think it's unreasonable to not take the family's likes/dislikes into account... obvs within reason.

There are certain foods I would never eat so why wouldn't others feel the same way. There's always a compromise to be had and it's selfish to just think of yourself.

I got a heart attack just reading the foods your OH prepared OP 😷

I would happily swap some cooking duties with some cleaning tasks but dh loves cooking and although it’s not what I would choose to eat he is enthusiastic about it, and he hates cleaning and does it really badly.

He cooks 4 meals a week. He fails to plan them well, he doesn’t take into account likes and dislikes or health - he misses out vegetables regularly, never buys salad! - and you think you should be grateful…? How enthusiastic do you feel about scrubbing toilets?

Do you love cleaning? Like really enjoy it? Because it does seem like he picked the chore he loves, and left you all the shitwork. And his chore is done poorly FOR YOU. Just like the cleaning was. Essentially he's cooking for himself just bigger portions. Whereas you are cleaning for everyone.

You should share cooking. I cook like your DH, my DH cooks things like fish fingers and beans, DS cooks vegan one pots. Then every one gets to eat what they enjoy some of the time but no one has to cook food they don't like. Anyone who has issues with the food they are given can do their own thing. But they don't get to complain.

I do all the shopping and cooking in our house but ifbDH wants something bought he will just ask me to add it to the shopping list.
So if you want the ingredients for a salad for lunch or some extra veg can you ask him to add it to his shopping list.

Could there be a different approach especially as your girls are getting older e.g. each family member putting in meal cards (with ingredients and recipe) in a jar and these are picked out at random, so he doesn't have to plan you get more variety and he still is doing the shopping and cooking.

Also we did mindful chef boxes, great quality food very healthy but we found the prep could take longer than expected. Recently heard about the lollipop app from sainsburys again I think it provides you with recipes which by selecting auto populates a shopping list for you.

To be honest I probably eat more like your husband but like to try new stuff but when I'm doing all the planning, prep and cooking I just want it simple and easy and what I know so microwave peas for people 🤣

I'd just tell him straight. When you've been married for long enough to have teenagers, can't you just say to him to sort it out? I've been with my DH for 20 years, it always surprises me when spouses beat around the bush with each other. Just tell him.
I sit and do our weekly menu before I do the shopping and ask DH if he has any meal ideas. Then we discuss and agree. I love salmon, he hates it. He loves red meat, I'm not a fan. So a couple of nights a week, we eat different meals. It's not a big deal.

If he's rushing try a slow cooker, prep the evening before, shove it in the slow cooker in the morning with a cook in sauce. How I do curries when its me cooking.

He's loves a sausage or 3 😂

Sit down together and plan a menu

Or do shopping online so can add salad and veg

We often do frozen veg as buy fresh and don't always eat

Where frozen is all chopped and literally Bung in water /microwave

Carrots green beans sweet corn brocolli or veg mixed veg

If both work out of the house why is he doing heavy lunches

What's wrong with soup/Sarnie

I disagree that if it was the OP picking meals only she liked she would be torn to shreds. Most of the time when these threads come up the advice is cook chooses and anyone over the age of approx 12 can bloody well cook for themselves if they don't like what is on offer.

My dh loves cooking but honestly his pretty poor at it. I humour him with it sometimes but his just soooo out there. But that’s how his parents are so how he was raised I’m guessing the same for your dh.

Maybe get an online shop or veg/fruit box delivery for fresh bits once a week or again delegate to the teenagers a tenner or twenty to go get salad and fruit once a week for the house.

dh loves cooking

Well that's good, can you maybe suggest he tries some brand new recipes? We try to do one new meal a week. If he loves cooking that should be enjoyable.

he doesn’t do planning and the evening meal often comes around as a bit of a surprise to him

I'd change this if possible. You'll save money planning as well. We have a little magnetic white board on the fridge where we write the meals for the week as we do the online shop so we know what we're ordering and that it will get eaten. Obviously we don't stick rigidly to it if something comes up, but it helps day to day to know what we're having and to know we've got the ingredients.
Combine a meal plan with new recipes and the fact he loves cooking and hopefully you'll get some good meals.
If your DDs are going to do some cooking it will also help to plan. They might be less able to just open the fridge and put something together - if they choose what they want to cook and have a set night, and you and DH make sure you have the ingredients, then it will be much easier for them.

The lack of veg would annoy me, keep veg in the freezer in case he hasn't planned it dven if it's the basic microwave veg bags.

DH is main cook, always has been, his meals aren't always what I'd like (he loves liver, kidney and other offal) but I do eat it as there's nothing wrong with it just now what I'd choose. The upside is the girls were raised eating a wide variety of meals and lots of different veg so no real food issues (not even sprouts).

Exactly. If a woman posted that she would only cook food she liked, her husband and kids be damned, she would get slaughtered on here. As she should.

dh loves cooking and although it’s not what I would choose to eat he is enthusiastic about it, and he hates cleaning and does it really badly.

But he's barely cooking - most of what you describe is ready made or very minmal input - and doing that realy badly. Six meals in a row without a single vegetable apart from the 1 meal you added something to is appalling. If he cleaned really badly instead of cooking really badly, would that really be worse (and it sounds like he needs the practice)?

Oh get to fuck 🙄 if it was a mother on here posting is this a reasonable menu for my family, she’d get fucking torn to shreds

I think you have a few options but they all involve taking charge - you need to talk to Dh and say I really am not so into these heavy meals, I’m trying to be healthier and I wish you were supportive in this as does dd. So things have to change, your choice how. Dd has spoken to me too. Option 1 is from next week i can cook for everyone and you can clean , to a high standard, I will cook vegetarian all week with perhaps meat once every 3 weeks and you can decide if you still think it’s rude and ungrateful to say anything about a meal someone else has cooked for you even if you have not taken their food preferences or health goals into account in any way. Obviously you have to clean as well as I do or I won’t be happy.
or, dd & I shop and cook for ourselves, as we just do not want to eat your meat and carb dishes. I will be angry at you for just caring about yourself in your meal choices and you will have to take on some cleaning.
or, you could alternate so half the evening meals suit half the people in this house, like most people do. We are happy to provide suggestions and recipes. And we can all live together happily.

either way I am now adding veg to the shopping list and making my own lunch. Please don’t bother. You certainly weren’t bothering to make anything I wanted.

let me know by tomorrow please which choice you make and whether it’s one that’s choosing your family.

it is not your responsibility to protect his sensitive emotions from the truth.don’t help him wiht the fallout from this.

We all cook out own meals but do a together shop. No lunch tho. Tonight he had steak and chips I had pasta and pesto. Tomorrow he is having Katsu chicken and rice I am having cheese and crackers. We are all adults and can choose for ourselves.