To think someone must be able to do something - part 3

This is PRECISELY why you should not, in any shape or form, fund this ridiculous "relationship".

WTF!!! it's just sunk in that he saved all that money and she took someone he'd never met, rather than him, to the Spa. She is all kinds of vile.

Thank God you didn't give him the money. Your hard earned wages would have been used to facilitate a day of luxury for your son's abuser and a complete stranger. Or worse, if her plan had worked, you would have likely paid for these two delightful ladies to have a weekend away on your dime.

Go get your boy!

I think he might be ready and it seems like now could be the best chance you have.

Best scenario is you help pack his things and bring him home or worst case is that he stays but he knows that you're ready when he ready.

I really hope he comes home x

Mmm in hindsight if you go round there it might push him to step away again. Maybe you can see how things pan out this week and call into college again?

Also the ring doorbell point is something I hadn't thought of...

I would just take every opportunity you can to remind him you love him and home is always there for him and he can come back anytime day or night.

Sounds like there's a lot of hope to me.

Good to hear he phoned you Purple, I'm really pleased for you, it's a move in the right direction, tough love does work!

I suspect he used a pay phone because she will check to see if he called anyone whilst she was away. I really feel for you, it's beyond frustrating that he can't see how abusive this relationship is.

I don't know if you should drive round to him, he mentioned making the house perfect and cooking a nice meal for when she returns so it doesn't sound as if he's in the frame of mind to leave just yet.

xxx

Hi op, I've never commented on your posts before but I have read them all and kept up to date.

I think if he broke up with her he would feel relief that it's all over. Maybe you can say to him to imagine how it would feel to break up with her and to not have to worry about upsetting her or doing things wrong ever again. Tell him that's he's clearly not happy and healthy relationships are not meant to be this hard and that he would feel relief when it's all over.

I think telling him exactly how you feel and how you've seen he's changed since he met her has helped and there is no point trying to be understanding incase he stops seeing you, you need to keep speaking your mind and try and show how it's controlling. Maybe print out info on controlling relationships so he can see for himself.

I think when he matures a bit more he will eventually leave he. He's just so young and has been easily manipulated by her and doesn't know what a good relationship is.

Sorry I misread and assumed it was over night,

Champagne is a good call.

If she’s on a spa day, she may not have her phone nearby to see any notifications anyway…

Is she out all night? There's something odd about him 'not being able to find his charger'

I would go, carry an envelope or parcel so if she sees you arrive on ring or whatever he can say you were dropping off a parcel, ask him if he wants to come home. I think he's seeing sense.

Sending you strength this must be awful

go go goooooo mama!!

If she's got a RING doorbell or some sort of video surveillance, it could make things even harder for him. He knows where you are. Hard, I know.

It sounds like he is breaking and he needs his mum. At this point I wouldn't care anymore and I'd go around, say he can come home and open that door. That he is in an abusive relationship wether he likes it or not.

Hes scared of her. I'd be stepping on her turf now and showing you are strong and will always be there for your son.

Is that right or wrong to do that? I'm not sure but I'd have broken by now, you have been so so strong OP.

Another one who is chuffed to bits for you that he phoned.

He needed to hear those home truths the other day and whilst today's call is a positive please don't let this derail you from the tough love path.

Just a thought, does she look a lot older than him, is their age difference very noticable? If so, I wonder if she felt too embarrassed to have a young looking lad share her room for a spa weekend?

This part needs to come from him, Purple, and I would do exactly what you're doing. He knows you're there for him, and maybe next him he calls/phones just gently remind him that your door is always open. You can't push or rush this part, he's obviously starting to realise that it's not the great love that he thought it was. And if she's leaving him alone for a weekend, she must be loosening her control to a degree.

He's turning to you. That's such a massive step forwards. Let him take those baby steps back towards you. You've done all of this with such courage and dignity, and for that you should be incredibly proud of yourself.

I've been following under various names Purple since very early , and I'm seeing some hope here.
It's absolutely devastating what you and your DS are going through, I am in awe of your strength! I know it's so tough, and I can't even begin to imagine how you've gotten through this.

Keep the lines of communication open, it's great he's been in touch (even if it was asking for money), but don't be afraid to tell him it's an abusive relationship and she is abusing him, and remind him he always has a home with you!

Thinking of you as always 💜💜💜💜

I'm so pleased he's phoned you slowly he's realising .....

Oh purple, it's amazing that he called you. The first time is always the hardest and he's taken his first step home.

It's a massive step purple that he's called you.

I would go to him now while I know she's not there

I agree that the fact he has called you (and found a way to do so!) this is a huge step . I would see that as a positive.

If you speak to him again, I would make it clear that he understands that he can move back home at any point.

'Wasn't what she really wanted' fuck me what an ungrateful, vile witch.

Flabbergasted, she has a friend to take with her to a spa to be frank. I wonder if they know her child bf paid for it? She is horrendously shameless.

I think the wool is starting to fall from his eyes. Thankfully!