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Original poster

In laws constantly refer to daughter as ‘baby’ rather than her name!

191 replies

Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:07

MIL and FIL constantly refer to my 8 week old daughter, their granddaughter, as ‘the baby’ when speaking to us and one another.

”you come across with the baby”
”I’ll take the baby”
”pass us the baby’
”did baby just smile”
etc etc

When ‘the baby’ was 2 weeks old MIL referred to her as ‘thingy’ and I was livid but didn’t say anything. Husband agreed that it wasn’t good but we of course just left it as it was one passing comment. He doesn’t see any issue with only ever referring to our daughter as ‘baby’ or ‘the baby’.

She gives them non stop smiles and looks at them so adoringly and they can’t be arsed to use her name. It’s the very centre of someone’s identity!! Am I over reacting by being angry about this??

OP posts:
heyitsthistle · 26/10/2023 23:29

I think calling a baby 'baby' or 'the baby' is perfectly fine and very ordinary. I used the term 'the baby' all the time with my own up until 6 months or so, as did my family and friends. However, I could not get on board with Thingy. That's extremely rude. Can you ask DH to have a word?

TheCrystalPalace · 26/10/2023 23:29

Is her name Neil?

Original poster
Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:29

Well that got me told 😂
I’m still annoyed but I shall endeavour to get over it!!

Thanks all 🥰

Season 9 Thank You GIF by The Office
OP posts:
Mummy08m · 26/10/2023 23:26

1000umbrellas · 26/10/2023 23:20

They have forgotten her name and are too embarrassed to admit it.

Yeah it does sound like this is it.

But unless they have dementia or the name is very complicated/hard to pronounce, it's kind of unbelievable isn't it! How can you forget your grandchild's name?!

comedycentral · 26/10/2023 23:25

The youngest is the baby, my brother in his 30's is still the baby - more of a joke these days. I call my son the baby too, he's in primary!

Lentilweaver · 26/10/2023 23:25

I still call my 19-year-old by a nickname that means "baby" sometimes.

Lol at @WhateverMate!😁

BellaAndDave · 26/10/2023 23:23

Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:13

Yes she is my first (and only I reckon!). Been going overboard with using her name to no avail.

l wouldn’t turn it in to a big thing but it’s got to me. Lack of sleep won’t be helping! 😂

Let it slide, it’s not a huge and it’s not life changing. You’re tired and are probably trying to adjust to a new baby. Little things annoyed me too but it’s honestly not worth your energy getting worked up about.

Whentheboatcomein · 26/10/2023 23:23

My niece is 2 and everyone calls her ‘the baby’ even her parents. It’s not meant as a slight at all

WhateverMate · 26/10/2023 23:23

Every time they say it, put your DC in the corner.

That'll teach 'em.

Changednamesforthis22 · 26/10/2023 23:22

Baby wouldn't bother me but thingy would.

itsmylife7 · 26/10/2023 23:22

My husband calls our 2 GC the babies.... they're 7 and 8 😁

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/10/2023 23:21

I'm pretty sure my son thinks his name is baby as that's all I called him for the first 6 months!

Zwicky · 26/10/2023 23:21

She is the baby. Lots of babies are called “the baby” until a new baby comes along. Maybe have another baby.

WhateverMate · 26/10/2023 23:21

Thingy is weird but baby is normal imo.

My Irish mum would say, "Are you bringing the small one?" 🤣

Maddy70 · 26/10/2023 23:20

It's been called teh naby for 9 months. Its kind of their name to them. .

It'll.change soon. Start telling them it's name when they say it

1000umbrellas · 26/10/2023 23:20

They have forgotten her name and are too embarrassed to admit it.

Katrinawaves · 26/10/2023 23:18

Another one who thinks you are overreacting. My nephew who was the first grandchild has only ever been referred to by my parents and sister as “Wee one”. And he’s 30 now 😂

It’s just an affectionate way of referring to her - I seriously doubt any insult is intended!

Lavender14 · 26/10/2023 23:18

We also called ds baby for ages, I still do as a term of endearment along with many other ridiculous terms! I would take it as a sign of affection.

Kitkat1523 · 26/10/2023 23:17

Where I live the youngest child in a family is called ‘the baby’ until they are about 13 …..do you not like your partners parents?

Lentilweaver · 26/10/2023 23:16

Go NC. How very dare they?

Mummy08m · 26/10/2023 23:16

Also do they call each other by their real names or do they use Darling etc? Some people don't use names unless they're being formal or even telling someone off.

Personally I love using names, I say Dh's and dd's names all the time, to me they're like music like in that west side story song "Maria".

Fionaville · 26/10/2023 23:16

Whoever is the youngest in our extended family gets called 'The baby' by the whole family. It was me until I was 24 🤣 The title has been passed down through all the grandchildren and now its my DD who's 11! It's a term of endearment where we live.

Duttercup · 26/10/2023 23:16

Everyone in my family calls mine the baby and she's 3. I think she's stuck with it now.

I'm not sure it's worth getting upset over.

Original poster
Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:16

@stealthninjamum fair point 😂

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 26/10/2023 23:15

I say this with kindness, but yes, you're being absolutely ridiculous and PFB of the highest order.

Write this down somewhere and come back to it when she's 5/10/15 and give yourself a good laugh.