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Original poster

In laws constantly refer to daughter as ‘baby’ rather than her name!

191 replies

Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:07

MIL and FIL constantly refer to my 8 week old daughter, their granddaughter, as ‘the baby’ when speaking to us and one another.

”you come across with the baby”
”I’ll take the baby”
”pass us the baby’
”did baby just smile”
etc etc

When ‘the baby’ was 2 weeks old MIL referred to her as ‘thingy’ and I was livid but didn’t say anything. Husband agreed that it wasn’t good but we of course just left it as it was one passing comment. He doesn’t see any issue with only ever referring to our daughter as ‘baby’ or ‘the baby’.

She gives them non stop smiles and looks at them so adoringly and they can’t be arsed to use her name. It’s the very centre of someone’s identity!! Am I over reacting by being angry about this??

OP posts:
AnaisMae · 27/10/2023 08:50

Kindly, YABVU.

Richvanilla · 27/10/2023 08:40

Meh, everyone refers to my nieces as the babies, and one of them is two!

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 27/10/2023 08:29

I think calling babies by a name is quite creepy for some reason.

They’re just little angels and the idea of them having a name and using it just seems a bit too grown up 😂

I always refer to babies as: gorgeous, angel, sweetheart, beautiful etc. I don’t really use their name until they’re about 6 months ish…

NoNameisGoodEnough · 27/10/2023 08:27

It can be a geographical thing. As PPs have said, often in Liverpool.
I dealt with a parent at school and thought she had another younger child until I realised we were talking about her school aged child that she kept referring to as 'the baby'.

W0tnow · 27/10/2023 08:27

Didimum · 27/10/2023 08:14

DH and I both called our twins the babies for absolutely ages. Probably years.

Same!

quietnightmare · 27/10/2023 08:26

They mean no harm and hate to break it to you but she is 'the baby'

W0tnow · 27/10/2023 08:26

It’s normal. Do they absolutely adore her in the way that only grandparents do? That’s enough. Congratulations on your little one. My 3 range from 16 to 18. Every night when I go to bed I say ‘nigh nigh babies!’

IdontShineifYoudontShine · 27/10/2023 08:24

I’m still saved as “Baby” in my mum’s phone.

I’m in my late 40s 🤣

Basilthymerosemary · 27/10/2023 08:21

Still call my teenage daughter baby 😂

theduchessofspork · 27/10/2023 08:18

TentChristmas · 26/10/2023 23:08

Sounds like they don’t like their name and have decided to not use it to punish you. Maybe get your DH to ask why they won’t use her name?

It does not

People often do this with young babies, including their parents. It just takes a while to bed in.

Didimum · 27/10/2023 08:14

DH and I both called our twins the babies for absolutely ages. Probably years.

MammaTo · 27/10/2023 08:08

My 25 year old sister still gets called the baby.
I always call my own baby “the baby”.
Where’s the baby, how’s the baby today, I’ll hold the baby.

You're massively over reacting I think.

ittakes2 · 27/10/2023 07:36

We called our twins the babies!! In some cultures it’s common to use terms of endearment. I personally wouldn’t worry about it at this early stage.

Flyhigher · 27/10/2023 07:05

What's her name?

Rewis · 27/10/2023 06:54

At 8 weeks they're not really a person yet, theyre an extnesion of the mother so.id imagine they havent gotten used to it. I'd imagine once they learn to walk and talk and has a personality they'll use a name or a nickname or something.

But as pps have mentioned a lot of kids are called something. Like my mom stell calls my brothers baby boys (they're almost 50) to separate them from the boys which is my dad and his brother. And a lot has some nickname related to being a baby/small.

If you have a good relationship, try to let it go. You can ask them to stop but it is a bit unnecessary

TolkiensFallow · 27/10/2023 06:51

It can be a bit of a generational thing. It does sound like this is getting to you, personally it wouldn’t bother me but I remember being really hormonal with my first and probably overreacting to things…pick your battles.

bloemen · 27/10/2023 06:48

We named the bump and DC1 was the bump name for about 3 months and baby for maybe longer. We loved their name but it seemed weird to have a real "adult" name when such a tiny baby! Iykwim No problem with DC2 as didn't name the bump and not PFB but they are often referred to by a variety of other nicknames unless n trouble when even middle names can be blasted out!

AnnaSewell · 27/10/2023 06:36

My own - adult - daughter is known as The Baby Bear.

I see a long, conflict-filled road ahead for you....unless you can relax a bit and simply enjoy 'the baby'.

crew2022 · 27/10/2023 06:33

If they are kind, supportive and treat you well (and 'the baby') I would say it's not a problem at all.
I think in-laws can grate more once you have your own child, but try and be kind. You'll possibly be an in law one day.

StarTrek6 · 27/10/2023 06:27

Is it the first baby in the family? I think that might be why she's Baby but once she is doing things or you want her to pay attention to you etc etc they'll use her name.

itsallnewnow · 27/10/2023 06:20

Oh dear, in our family the smallest one is the baby until the next baby appears, poor DB was 14 when he stopped being the baby Grin

Wiffleontoomuch · 27/10/2023 06:16

If they're Scouse this is totally normal

Magenta65 · 27/10/2023 06:16

I was the baby until around 9/10! It’s a term of endearment nothing more. I think you’re maybe over reacting, the way they talk is how my family would talk about t the newest to a family if I’m honest. Thingy is very very rude and that would annoy me but your baby is currently,THE baby for them. Leave them to it, it’ll stop as they get older. I remember protesting age 6/7 that I was no longer the baby 😂

lamalamalamasquirrel · 27/10/2023 06:13

I think they are struggling with the name. Either they keep forgetting what exactly it is or they hate it.

ButWhatIsIt · 27/10/2023 06:11

My kids were always referred to as baby then name by the grandparents and various other family members.
They think it's a bit embarrassing that as married adults with their own children, they're still referred to as Baby plus name. 😂