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Original poster

In laws constantly refer to daughter as ‘baby’ rather than her name!

191 replies

Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:07

MIL and FIL constantly refer to my 8 week old daughter, their granddaughter, as ‘the baby’ when speaking to us and one another.

”you come across with the baby”
”I’ll take the baby”
”pass us the baby’
”did baby just smile”
etc etc

When ‘the baby’ was 2 weeks old MIL referred to her as ‘thingy’ and I was livid but didn’t say anything. Husband agreed that it wasn’t good but we of course just left it as it was one passing comment. He doesn’t see any issue with only ever referring to our daughter as ‘baby’ or ‘the baby’.

She gives them non stop smiles and looks at them so adoringly and they can’t be arsed to use her name. It’s the very centre of someone’s identity!! Am I over reacting by being angry about this??

OP posts:
ZoeDavoMCR · 27/10/2023 21:47

I am guilty of this, I don’t know why but I feel stupid referring to a tiny baby by it’s name like ‘are you bringing Erin’ I just think it sounds cute saying ‘are you bringing the baby’ my whole family do it though so I think nothing of it. My niece is a few months old and my brothers youngest of 3 and we all just say ‘Tom is coming with Jack, Poppy and the baby’ I love her name but I just like referring to her as the baby. If her parents asked me not to then I wouldn’t but I would have no idea that this would annoy someone

Spirallingdownwards · 27/10/2023 21:47

Yes They hate her name and rather than worrying about slipping up and pulling a face as they say it they just use baby to prevent the faux pas

Cherrysoup · 27/10/2023 21:46

Mother referred to me as her ‘baby girl’ yesterday. I’m 53. 😝

Mulhollandmagoo · 27/10/2023 21:44

My 4yo is still referred to as 'the baby' by me, my husband and both our extended families 😂

8 weeks is when the buzz starts to wear off, and you're exhausted and overwhelmed, so things that wouldn't not normally upset you are hugely amplified, I hope you're taking care of you OP, it's really hard to do that in the newborn phase ❤️

JedATEA070968 · 27/10/2023 21:14

Almost laughed out loud at this one! Really hope baby brain & sleep deprivation has made you over think this- otherwise you need to resolved some issues!

Merseymum992 · 27/10/2023 20:57

Are they Scouse? Calling the little/youngest ones "the baby" is common in Liverpool

snoreb · 27/10/2023 20:57

Neil the baby

In laws constantly refer to daughter as ‘baby’ rather than her name!
anonimoxyz · 27/10/2023 20:52

My youngest is 2.5,and I stilll say I'm picking up the baby and see you later etc...

iolaus · 27/10/2023 20:46

My nephew is still known as Baby Firstname and he's 18 (he doesn't like it on social media so naturally my 21 year old daughter insists on addressing him as that the whole time (I think she may have started the nickname)

Weirdly he has two younger sisters and two younger cousins - none of whom are called Baby

Kwasi · 27/10/2023 20:42

I don’t think we referred to DS as anything other than the baby until he was 3. He is 5 now and I rarely call him by his name. I usually call him baby, babycakes, or one of many cute names for him. DH and I never call each other by our names either.

Mt nephew is 15 now and I still call him baby boy.

chattyness · 27/10/2023 20:28

well she is a baby and they're not babies for long, so let it go

MystyLuna · 27/10/2023 20:08

When I was pregnant my husband and I always referred to our son as "the baby". When he was born we still kept saying the baby out of habit for a long time.
Our son will be 12 next week and "the baby" still occasionally slips out when we are talking about him.

OnceUponATimeInChristmasTime · 27/10/2023 20:05

The youngest child in our family is 'the baby' until the next ones comes along.

RoxyRoo2011 · 27/10/2023 19:57

My Nan refers to both my kids as “the babies”. They’re 8 and 2 so most definitely not babies but I find it endearing and not at all something to be angry about. Complete over reaction.

Differentstarts · 27/10/2023 19:51

I don't think I hardly ever called my kids by their names when they where babies it was always stinky, chunky monkey, Mr potato head, whingebag ect so the word baby is is quite pleasant really considering

Feralgremlin · 27/10/2023 19:36

DS was “the baby” for well over 12 months, then graduated to “little legs”, and has had a number of nicknames since 😂

tunapokebowl · 27/10/2023 19:35

Respectfully, I get it but I think you might be being a teeny tiny bit unreasonable.

My mum calls DD "our baby". It grates, my new mum brain says she is my baby! But I know I'm being completely unreasonable and they adore her as much as we do.

Even "thingy", she probably just had a brain fart and forgot the name. I do it to my closest friends and people I've known years, doesn't mean I like them any less, care about them so little I don't remember their names, or hate their names.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 27/10/2023 19:26

My 15 YO is still "my baby" and my sister is still my mothers baby. Its a term of endearment. If it really riles you, just ask them nicely to use her name.

Kd96 · 27/10/2023 19:20

I think this is an old fashioned way of people saying 'we don't like them name you've chosen'. My grandmother did this to both myself from the day I was born to the day she passed away and did it to my daughter too from the day she was born to the day she passed away (grandmother that is)! And made it extremely known to me that she hated both names 'we hate your name so we'd always call you poppet, baby, princess etc' it stuck with me :( and was the first thing I noticed when DD was always referred to as 'poppet'.

Goodluckanddontfitup · 27/10/2023 19:16

It’s just a turn of phrase. My boy is 3 and I still refer to him as ‘the baby’. I doubt there is any bad intention to it at all, I’d let it go

Fionaville · 27/10/2023 15:30

WednesdaysChild50 · 27/10/2023 01:55

Bloody hell lol my son is late 20s and his father had I often refer to him as “the boy”

We call ours 'The boy, The girl, The baby' The boy is 18. They are akin to a royal title in this house 😆

PinkRoses1245 · 27/10/2023 11:25

NuffSaidSam · 26/10/2023 23:15

I say this with kindness, but yes, you're being absolutely ridiculous and PFB of the highest order.

Write this down somewhere and come back to it when she's 5/10/15 and give yourself a good laugh.

This. Be grateful this is your only gripe with your in laws

Rosiiee · 27/10/2023 11:24

Aw OP 😂 I call my 21 months old ‘the baby’ whenever I talk about him to others. He’ll forever be my baby as the youngest! I stopped calling my older one ‘the baby’ when he started screaming at me everytime I did 😂

AuntieDolly · 27/10/2023 11:20

We still call the box room the baby's room. He's 25

MadamVastra · 27/10/2023 11:19

At least they put a 'the' in front of it!