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Original poster

In laws constantly refer to daughter as ‘baby’ rather than her name!

191 replies

Motherofpearlxoxo · 26/10/2023 23:07

MIL and FIL constantly refer to my 8 week old daughter, their granddaughter, as ‘the baby’ when speaking to us and one another.

”you come across with the baby”
”I’ll take the baby”
”pass us the baby’
”did baby just smile”
etc etc

When ‘the baby’ was 2 weeks old MIL referred to her as ‘thingy’ and I was livid but didn’t say anything. Husband agreed that it wasn’t good but we of course just left it as it was one passing comment. He doesn’t see any issue with only ever referring to our daughter as ‘baby’ or ‘the baby’.

She gives them non stop smiles and looks at them so adoringly and they can’t be arsed to use her name. It’s the very centre of someone’s identity!! Am I over reacting by being angry about this??

OP posts:
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FailBetter · 17/07/2024 20:28

Do they put her in a corner?!! Wink Grin

yellowlabrador · 17/07/2024 20:07

Just play them at their own game.
"Would old woman like a cup of tea?" - "please could you pass the salt, old bloke?". "would old woman like to come and visit baby at the weekend?"

mumofdragons · 16/11/2023 18:16

I'm the baby of the family and family still call me 'the baby' - I'm 32 🤣🤣

I think just some family's do this 😅

Original poster
Motherofpearlxoxo · 16/11/2023 18:10

Oh thank you @WhateverMate I honestly have no clue what I’m doing these days…I thought I had done that!! xxxx

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 16/11/2023 18:07

Motherofpearlxoxo · 16/11/2023 18:01

Hi, this is quite a boring post but need help: seen a great Black Friday deal on some little sandals. Off to Majorca when my little girl will be coming up to 12 months old. What size should I get? She’s a big lass! 14.5lb at 12 weeks so far and I’m tall so reckon she will be.

could you help a gal out and let me know approx size you think she may be!

much appreciated!

I think I'd start a separate thread, maybe in Chat?

I'm sure someone will be able to help.

Original poster
Motherofpearlxoxo · 16/11/2023 18:01

Hi, this is quite a boring post but need help: seen a great Black Friday deal on some little sandals. Off to Majorca when my little girl will be coming up to 12 months old. What size should I get? She’s a big lass! 14.5lb at 12 weeks so far and I’m tall so reckon she will be.

could you help a gal out and let me know approx size you think she may be!

much appreciated!

OP posts:
Megirlan123 · 31/10/2023 09:40

My youngest is 8 and I’ll still refer to him as the baby 🤣 Honestly, don’t overthink it.

Blondebrunette1 · 30/10/2023 21:31

I'd take that as a term of endearment, would it bother you if your parents did it? I have had instances of over sensitivity when mine have been little and being tired with a newborn can make you feel even more irritable. I wouldn't make an issue over it, "thingy" is odd and I'd maybe comment on that if said again ask "who's thingy?!" But no need to send your husband in. You've got much better things to give your energy to IMO. If you like them generally, I think you'll regret sounding off over something like this xx

Duechristmas · 29/10/2023 19:52

It's cute and a term of endearment, they're her grandparents, not her doctor.

Coffeeismyfriend1 · 29/10/2023 19:07

DD is two and I still say ‘come here baby’ or ‘hello baby girl’ to her. DS (6) is autistic and frequently says ‘mummy she’s a toddler, not a baby’ to me and gets frustrated when I say ‘you’re 6 and you’re still my baby boy’ 🤣 I mostly call him little man or little dude though.

Obviously, I love both their names as I chose them.

dutysuite · 29/10/2023 17:07

I still call my nearly 14 DD baby. 😂

HelenTherese2 · 29/10/2023 16:39

You are frankly, being ridiculous. I referred to my kids as the baby and now they are the kids. My DD is often ‘the girl’ and the boy is that too.

My dog is usually ‘the dog’ too even though he’s my favourite.

JRM17 · 29/10/2023 09:47

My DS is 6 and is mainly referred to as "little man" or "dude". If I'm texting my husband from work or whatever I never use our sons name I just write "How's the dude today". I think ur being a bit rediculous tbh.

NorthernSarcasticandDownrightFantastic · 29/10/2023 09:38

So why is it you actually dislike them and want an excuse for it?

Either that, or in the nicest way, you're being "that mum" wanting everything to be just so, which is impossible, and the hormones, lack of sleep, and pressure you've put on yourself is making things very weird.

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 29/10/2023 08:50

My Grnadmother made it really clear she hated our daughters name and didn’t make an effort to learn it. She kept referring to her as ‘the baby’, strangely when I started referring to her as ‘the old lady’ she learnt the name and used it 🤣

Notwiththebullshizz · 29/10/2023 08:38

I think you're over tired, overwhelmed and thinking too much into it. This is your 1st so things are just different with your 1st, you want everything to be just so. There are far worse things that could be happening though. I'd say you're being a little sensitive towards what's probably just an innocent term they're using, to them, he/she IS probably their baby, who theyre probably extremely proud of. I'd leave it, if it were me, I think its quite sweet, honestly.

ButWhyNot88 · 28/10/2023 23:05

We’ve moved from ‘The Baby’ to ‘The Child’ - so much so that our daughter, who is 3, will sometimes refer to herself as ‘The Child’ 🙈🤣

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2023 22:51

Our baby boy is 6ft 5 (and still growing, at 20). He’ll be the baby until he has one of his own. If he doesn’t, that’s his tag for life.

Vettrianofan · 28/10/2023 20:20

Thingy isn't that bad! I sometimes do that with my own as I get their names all muddled up on a really bad day 😂

Baby is fine too. You're overthinking this honestly. Lots of people say the baby. I did this too from memory. "DH watch out the baby's stuff is there, don't put down the shopping in that space" for example. Not a big deal.

Sennelier1 · 28/10/2023 20:14

Could you suggest to your inlaws to call her "BabySue" (name just as an example) to make it easier on them to do as you ask? My oldest grandson (still a little boy) has called his new nephew "BabyPeter" for ages, until said Peter was old enough to claim himself he wasn't a baby anymore 😂

HelloWorldItsNiceToMeetYou · 28/10/2023 14:41

This can be quite a regional thing. In Liverpool where I am from, people tend to refer to the youngest child in the family as 'the baby" til they are quite old.

PonyPatter44 · 28/10/2023 13:24

Are they Welsh? My Welsh ex-inlaws raved about how pretty my DDs name was, but generally called her "the baby". My ex-FIL referred to all his grandchildren as "the baby".

They did many, MANY things that pissed me off, but this wasn't one of them.

Stormyweathr · 28/10/2023 13:20

Try living in Liverpool the youngest in every family is known as ‘our kid’ son, brother nephew, cousin it’s doesn’t matter what relation they are known by the whole family as ‘our kid’

Casperroonie · 28/10/2023 11:26

I find it odd you see an issue tbh. I still call my own girls bebé (Spanish speaking) and my parents do the same. It's just a term of endearment.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 28/10/2023 09:33

My mum called all of mine the baby until another baby in the family arrived.