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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Team meeting - rotating chair

89 replies

KimGa · 24/10/2023 20:20

I am part-time (only 16 hours a week). I do admin to fit around school hours. I am the lowest paid, most part-time member of a team of about 35, local government.

We have a regular team meeting which happens to fall at a time I work. I’m of course happy to attend. However, they rotate who chairs the meeting and who minute takes every time, so everyone apparently has to have a turn regardless of seniority.

AIBU to think this is unfair? I don’t object to the minute taking because admin is what I’m paid to do but as I absolutely hate presenting/public speaking of any kind having to chair when it’s my turn causes me so much stress and anxiety.

Surely this is a senior leadership team task and their pay reflects that kind of responsibility.

OP posts:
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theminutetaker · 09/09/2024 06:28

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MyCircumference · 14/11/2023 19:14

glad you got through it
and a new job! excellent

Original poster
KimGa · 14/11/2023 18:59

Well people asked me to report back once I’d done it so here I am. Did not complain about it being my turn as the general consensus was it was a reasonable request.

I chaired just as nervously and badly as I thought I would despite preparing as much as I could.

However, in the time since I first posted have been offered a move to a different team who will not require me to do this so have voted with my feet and handed in my notice as some of you suggested I should if I didn’t like it!

Not the only reason to go but delighted I won’t have to do this onerous task anymore and I am sorry that I posted about it on here because it encouraged others managers reading to adopt this policy and it really is the most stressful thing if it’s not your skill set. Please don’t force it upon your teams!

OP posts:
Toohardtofindaproperusername · 25/10/2023 21:46

Imposing it isn't exactly "fair" .. its unthoughtful. For some people it's a great opportunity, for others its the stuff of nightmares. I'd ask if it could be made an opportunity rather rhan an obligation as its something you are neither interested in developing, nor want support to develop. And you will be speaking for many in,the team ... an interesting and common way of doing rhjngs, but obliging people isn't good people skills

Wouldyouguess · 25/10/2023 15:59

I also expected to read a story about someone spinning on their chair during a meeting, that was anticlimactic!

muddyford · 25/10/2023 15:05

greenacrylicpaint · 25/10/2023 15:00

anyone else dissapointed that this is not about people in (online) meetings turning round and round on their chair?

Yes, I thought it would be about spinning around on an office chair!

greenacrylicpaint · 25/10/2023 15:00

anyone else dissapointed that this is not about people in (online) meetings turning round and round on their chair?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 25/10/2023 14:30

Mountain of of a molehill I’m afraid. As others have said it’s very fair and your part time position should not exempt you. For the icebreakers google random icebreaker questions “Quick what frivolous thing would you buy if you won the lottery tomorrow” and use them for your icebreaker portion. if it’s over teams or zoom… use a poll or something to highlight commonality within the department (I have a cat… I have a dog… I’ve slipped on a banana peel”

Surely you are learning something at some point in your role, even if it’s something you learn from someone else. If nothing else google some random fact that you can explain. If else fails pick a safety topic. “I was reading an article that explained that 30% of workplace accidents are caused by banana peels being thrown on the floor… ways to reduce this are to blah blah blah”

In other words… this is not an outrageous requirement and you need to suck it up.

Ginmonkeyagain · 25/10/2023 13:26

People seem to be confusing the act of "chairing" a meeting and thr formal role of "Chair".

I chair a lot of meetings at work where I am usually not the most senior person present, usually I chair where I have called the meeting or because I am managing the project. In my non work life I am the elected Chair of a Board of Directors. That second role is more formal and I am absolutely expected to make decisions and lead . (Don't get paid though)

ElevenSeven · 25/10/2023 13:23

No, it’s actually very fair that everyone takes a turn.

reabies · 25/10/2023 13:10

I think if I hated it as much as you do I'd be dropping the icebreaker and the sharing struggle and just moving onto the agenda.

'Right folks as you all know I work part time in admin and I won't lie sometimes the database is playing up and it's a nightmare but recently it's all been good so I'm just going to jump right into the agenda for today and if anyone would like to volunteer to share their own recent struggle/triumph then please let me know and we'll have time for that at the end. Ok, item 1 etc etc etc'

Normalsizedsalad · 25/10/2023 13:09

Ask them for few sentences about what the agenda item is about. That's what I always did.
In 8 months there would be some learning no matter how small.
Ice breakers can be awkward I will give you that!
You are now in low stresa, low paid role, your kids will grow up and be more pricey. Life will too. I would auck it up once a calendar year

HoppingPavlova · 25/10/2023 12:23

Surely this is a senior leadership team task and their pay reflects that kind of responsibility

Absolutely not. It’s chairing a team meeting, not negotiating peace talks. There is virtually zero responsibility. Where I now work leadership don’t even take a turn chairing, we chair so many other high stakes/profile meetings, it’s considered polite to bow out of chairing for team or department meetings where it doesn’t matter, and an opportunity for others who wouldn’t normally to do it. So ours rotate but exclude ourselves and I would think that is fair.

mumda · 25/10/2023 11:59

23Oct · 24/10/2023 20:59

How is chairing a meeting a 'senior leadership responsibility' that requires a higher level of pay?!

What do your local councillors pay themselves as 'chairs' of meetings?

Milarky · 25/10/2023 11:50

KrisAkabusi · 25/10/2023 11:44

If you're Chair, you can drop the icebreaker!

Sorry to quote you AGAIN kris

But OP if you're brave enough do this!! EVERYONE will silently thank you!!!

KrisAkabusi · 25/10/2023 11:44

If you're Chair, you can drop the icebreaker!

Milarky · 25/10/2023 11:40

KrisAkabusi · 24/10/2023 20:48

It's the opposite of unfair! It's giving everyone a turn at responsibility.

This!!!

I'm going to suggest it for our team meetings. What a great idea!

OP please come back and update when you have chaired your first meeting. Love to know how you got on.

Also when I suggest it to our SMT, I'll make sure we'll look at ways to make it less "scary".

LlynTegid · 25/10/2023 11:37

Apart from having an icebreaker(ugh) the way it is done seems very good. There are plenty of people who are useless at chairing meetings, and at least you are not stuck with them every time.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 25/10/2023 11:33

I thought you were going to say that you'd been told off for spinning on your chair 😳🤦

Wonkasworld · 25/10/2023 11:16

Some people have minimised the experience of chairing OP. Of course its not just a question of announcing the agenda item and letting discussion commence. There's also the introduction of that item, with a bit of background.

Original poster
KimGa · 25/10/2023 11:08

I appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I agree that for junior staff at the start of their career and wanting to progress it’s potentially a great developmental opportunity.

For me who has purposefully chosen a low-paid, low stress, part-time role to fit around my children I’m quite frankly not wanting to push myself right now. Therefore when it’s my turn I just resent the stress it causes me, but I now won’t object to my manager as the general consensus seems to be that it’s a reasonable request. I didn’t know whether it was commonplace in other offices.

Part of the reason I find it so anxiety- inducing is because I work closely with about three of the team members but as we are mainly remote, I don’t know the wider team and I don’t understand the things they add to the agenda for discussion which I have to introduce, so when I’ve done it in the past I just always feel hugely out of my depth.

In our meeting, part of the chair’s responsibilities include running an ice breaker at the start which I find painful and also a 10 min slot sharing some recent learnings. My admin role is the same week in week out so it just feels a struggle to try and dress it up and say anything that’s even remotely of interest to others. Obviously when senior team members do this they talk about learning from recent projects which is not something I can do. I basically speak to customers by phone and email and input stuff onto databases and spreadsheets.

Some people are skilled at being a leader (generally managers) which is why I mention the pay grades. I am not and I’m not the only one, a couple of others on the team who are lower in the hierarchy generally mumble their way through their turns at being chair too and everyone can sense discomfort - I just think it’s a bit mean.

OP posts:
Wonkasworld · 25/10/2023 10:04

StepCatsmother · 25/10/2023 08:46

Whereas I don't agree entirely. Maybe to opt out once or twice but you should be working towards being able to doing it if its part of the role for everyone.

Being anxious about speaking in public is relatively normal purely because most of us don't do it very often, so practice in a fairly safe space like this is an opportunity. We do exactly the same rotating chair in our team meetings so I've seen it really help people overcome some of their nervousness about it.

Even with a formal diagnosis of anxiety, most therapy involves learning not to run away from the things that make you anxious as that's not the right way to deal with it - it's about developing tools to manage that fear, because usually its irrational.

Show quote history

Maybe the company could address this by putting forward staff development ideas.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 25/10/2023 08:49

I thought this thread was going to be about someone spinning on their chair in meetings.

StepCatsmother · 25/10/2023 08:46

Wonkasworld · 24/10/2023 22:28

Yes, agree with this.

Show quote history

Whereas I don't agree entirely. Maybe to opt out once or twice but you should be working towards being able to doing it if its part of the role for everyone.

Being anxious about speaking in public is relatively normal purely because most of us don't do it very often, so practice in a fairly safe space like this is an opportunity. We do exactly the same rotating chair in our team meetings so I've seen it really help people overcome some of their nervousness about it.

Even with a formal diagnosis of anxiety, most therapy involves learning not to run away from the things that make you anxious as that's not the right way to deal with it - it's about developing tools to manage that fear, because usually its irrational.

KimberleyClark · 25/10/2023 08:41

We did this at my last place of work. It was my job to schedule the meetings, get someone to chair and take the minutes. . A lot of people simply refused or suddenly found they had a more important meeting to go to. It was a nightmare.

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