Friend expects me to order everything

I just feel like if I didn’t do it would we even be friends?

So? She sounds like a shit friends who is just using you!

I did too - you just need to grow a pair OP.

Just say no and stick to it.
You don't need to give excuses.

I voted YABU because you just need to say no 🤔

Tell her you’ve been thinking about her reasons for not wanting to use her own card details (getting scammed, security etc) and you’ve decided she’s right! Thank her so much for “opening your eyes” and tell her because of HER, you’re severely limiting your own online transactions so can’t order anymore.

There’s nothing she can really say back to that as you’re agreeing with her. She can’t exactly argue with her own logic but if she does and tries to problem solve, turn it back on her and say oh if that’s the case, you can order yourself then.

What do you mean, 'How do I say no?' You form the word 'No' with your voice and fucking say it. Don't make a weird excuse or tell her you've been scammed or claim that your wifi's not working or something. Just tell her it's not fair and you're not doing it any more because she has to learn how to shop online for herself.

She's taking the piss. Next time she asks, tell her this is absolutely the last time you are doing this for her and that she needs to either grow the fuck up or buy things from actual shops instead. If that's the end of your friendship, who cares? If she ends a friendship over this, she's not a friend worth having anyway. She's only asking you because you're the only one who's scared to say no.

I mean this kindly, but stop being a bloody doormat and say no.

I had someone who was doing this - but also frustratingly giving me cash which messed up my finances. I told them I would help if they went and paid the cash in at the bank. It soon stopped them when they realised it wasn’t as easy as having a personal assistant.

That doesn't work for me, sorry. Or you could go really hardcore and leave the sorry off the end.

I voted YABU as you are being a complete wet blanket - why are you continuing to do this? You are you own worst enemy!

There are always people on threads like this who suggest telling pointless lies instead of just setting a normal, reasonable boundary.

I don’t get it. If you’re scared to tell the truth in case it leads to conflict, why wouldn’t you be scared to lie for the same reason? The lies people propose are always so flimsy and the risk of negative fallout is arguably a lot higher.

And in any case lying is childish and dodgy in the most basic way

How can I say no?

You open your mouth and sound out the syllable.

Just tell her nicely that you are not her personal assistant.

Say no, or if you can’t, make it work to your advantage with a card that gives you cash back on spends like Chase

She is not a friend. Apart from being a CF, she is just someone you know.

I bet she'd soon disappear if your card was compromised.

Don't make excuses as she will try and have an answer for each one and use them against you, just say ' it doesn't work for me'

She doesn't think it's that unsafe if she's happy for "friends" to use it for her 😂

What is your "AIBU"?

If it is "Am I daft to keep being a mug and not actually say the word "no"?" Then YABU

You - Please can you order it yourself. I'm finding it really time consuming doing orders for people. Do you fancy getting a coffee next week? x

Her - please can you do it, im worried I'll get scammed

You - You won't get scammed. Shall we say Saturday for coffee?

Her - please can you do it just this time

You - No, being your secretary doesn't pay very well 😂

Her - I need it urgently though

You - no!

Just keep pushing back and get more and more blunt. She's unlikely to take your first no if she's a CF

You need to channel Phoebe and say "I could, but I don't want to". Why should you keep doing something you don't want to do just because a pretend friend wants you to do all the legwork for her?

Tell yourself you will not be a wet lettuce any more. Stand up for yourself. Say "No, Mary. You can order things yourself. It will be fine. I'm not doing it for you any more." Block her number if she only messages you to get you to order things for her. You're not her PA. I bet she doesn't reward/recompense you for all the times you've done it either, because she's just using you.

She'll probably flounce but it's hardly a loss to you, is it?

Absolutely. She’s a CF but you’re enabling her so until you just say no loud and clear without making up excuses, you’re tye problem OP.

Say no and keep saying no

I get you are anxious, but you got this. Even silly old me has learnt how to use the internet.

or some other annoying guff like that. I’d shine a light on her ineptitude.

And as someone else pointed out, it was seemingly all right for my details to be at risk!

This is how I felt about MIL. There is some irony in the fact that she recently did get scammed! Although not online - we think her card got cloned.

Hi friend. I don't really understand why you feel ordering online is too risky for you but you're happy for me to take that same "risk." I won't be ordering anything else going forward, it's a bit of a pain and I think you need to sort out doing it yourself.

This! It’s what you are thinking.

honestly I wouldn’t make up excuses, because it doesn’t close the conversation, she will keep checking in.

You just have to say no.