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Original poster

To take DS on holiday during work experience week

217 replies

Flufty191 · 23/10/2023 20:30

DS is year 10. We live in a small town. He's due to do work experience next summer. He/we have contacted every company in the local area and have either had no response, been told they don't offer work experience or the work experience places are already taken.

His options now are a charity shop or the school canteen (the canteen is the schools only help if you're unable to secure your child a place somewhere).

He's already doing voluntary work for his DofE.

Would I be unreasonable to book a family holiday abroad for a week instead?

Yanbu-book it
Yabu-he should do the work experience.

OP posts:
happylittlesloth · 24/10/2023 14:19

Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 14:09

Some of the reaction on here I find so OTT. DS is a lovely lad, he works hard in school, does his voluntary work, helps our elderly neighbour, cares for me when my disability flares up. He doesn't drink, smoke, vape, he's not anti social, hes never skipped school. There is absolutely nothing about him that I'm not proud of.

I feel sorry for kids who are put under pressure to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat.

Show quote history

It's not about being perfect. It's doing what the school asks. And that is for a week of work experience, he seems to have two options for completing this and you're saying they're both not good enough for him as he's already done that type of work.

Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 14:10

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 13:11

It's not completely irrelevant here, in that OP will be teaching her son to opt out or suggest another date for something, when there is no need to do so. The canteen or the charity shop is decent work experience, for the reasons many others have already stated.

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As adults do we not opt out or suggest more suitable, alternative dates for things? I dont know why that's so awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 14:09

electriclight · 24/10/2023 12:42

I'd be ashamed if my ds couldn't find a week of work experience, gave up with a half term to go, and thought he was too good for the only option available to those who failed to sort out a placement.

Some of the reaction on here I find so OTT. DS is a lovely lad, he works hard in school, does his voluntary work, helps our elderly neighbour, cares for me when my disability flares up. He doesn't drink, smoke, vape, he's not anti social, hes never skipped school. There is absolutely nothing about him that I'm not proud of.

I feel sorry for kids who are put under pressure to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat.

OP posts:
sollenwir · 24/10/2023 13:11

margotrose · 24/10/2023 12:30

Clearly not, but school work experience probably should be one of the things that is

I really can't agree with you - work experience is work experience, when it happens is completely irrelevant.

It's not completely irrelevant here, in that OP will be teaching her son to opt out or suggest another date for something, when there is no need to do so. The canteen or the charity shop is decent work experience, for the reasons many others have already stated.

PuppyMonkey · 24/10/2023 12:50

Tell them he’s secured work experience at XX Hotel in Lanzarote or wherever you’re going. Grin

electriclight · 24/10/2023 12:42

I'd be ashamed if my ds couldn't find a week of work experience, gave up with a half term to go, and thought he was too good for the only option available to those who failed to sort out a placement.

margotrose · 24/10/2023 12:30

Clearly not, but school work experience probably should be one of the things that is

I really can't agree with you - work experience is work experience, when it happens is completely irrelevant.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 12:04

margotrose · 24/10/2023 11:34

It isn't about the future employer knowing it, it is about him as a person! He's already being shown he can opt out if the terms aren't exactly as he likes, and that isn't realistic in terms of work.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but so bloody what?

Not everything has to be some big life lesson about work and the future 🤷‍♀️

Clearly not, but school work experience probably should be one of the things that is.

Withnailandsigh · 24/10/2023 11:39

I got a place at a mechanics workshop. I was the only girl they’d ever had ( I’m old) but it was brilliant and I had a great time and still know more than your average person about cars too.
however , if there’s nothing useful or interesting for your lad then just go on holiday and let him do a week somewhere when he has the chance. As PP said, it’s good to have for CV or ucas but if your kiddo is doing voluntary work anyway it’s no deal breaker.
an actual Saturday job is just as useful and would get him paid too. Enjoy your holiday :)

margotrose · 24/10/2023 11:34

It isn't about the future employer knowing it, it is about him as a person! He's already being shown he can opt out if the terms aren't exactly as he likes, and that isn't realistic in terms of work.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but so bloody what?

Not everything has to be some big life lesson about work and the future 🤷‍♀️

NuffSaidSam · 24/10/2023 11:33

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 11:14

Again, I haven't made anything up.
Work experience, in the real world, is essential and will continue to be.
Those who got jobs without it quite possibly had other ways in, other privileges, or were very lucky. Having experience will always be advantageous over not having it.

Show quote history

Oh, on this, we absolutely agree!

I absolutely agree with you that real world work experience is important. I also completely agree that having relevant experience will look great on a CV/uni application.

I'm in total agreement on that issue.

The question here though, is whether it's essential that it happens as part of a school work experience program in a specific week. My opinion is that it isn't and that volunteering for a charity and in a NT cafe, doing a week of work experience in the summer and no doubt looking for paid work when he's old enough will be sufficient. I don't believe the OP's son will suffer any harm either to his University/work prospects or to his development as a person by having a holiday during work experience week and doing his work experience in the summer instead. This is the bit where we disagree because your view (expressed on this thread) is that he needs to partake in the school work experience week to gain these benefits. I believe these benefits can be easily gained through other work experience.

margotrose · 24/10/2023 11:32

You don't always get to dictate when and how you will do things for a start.

No, but in this case, he can, so what's the problem?

It's a school assignment, saying "I'll do it in 6 months time" doesn't really cut it.

Of course it does - do you really think the school give a shit?

Endeavormorse · 24/10/2023 11:27

go on the holiday! I would

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/10/2023 11:18

Tbh ours found w/e really useful but we found them very interesting placements ourselves.

In your situation, the holiday would be tempting.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 11:16

beachcitygirl · 24/10/2023 09:40

Work experience is the biggest waste of time ever unless it is in a workplace that is the environment that your child wants to build a career in.

It's literally a nonsense.
Go on holiday & enjoy family time.

This isn't true.
Work experience teaches you, or should teach you, much more than just about a specific job role!

Coffeerum · 24/10/2023 11:15

margotrose · 24/10/2023 10:26

He already does volunteer work and will do a week of work experience in the summer.

What's the benefit of doing this specific week?

Show quote history

You don't always get to dictate when and how you will do things for a start.

It's a school assignment, saying "I'll do it in 6 months time" doesn't really cut it.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 11:14

NuffSaidSam · 24/10/2023 10:33

You've said:

It's been seen as essential by many universities/employers for decades.

This is not true. We all know that. And it is silly to try and prove your point by essentially making stuff up. No University care about what you did for work experience during work experience week.

(I've copied and pasted the bold part from one of your posts, so it's most definitely something you said. If you didn't mean it, maybe go back and edit?).

If you can point out where I've claimed you've said something you haven't, I will happily apologise/edit my post to correct.

Show quote history

Again, I haven't made anything up.
Work experience, in the real world, is essential and will continue to be.
Those who got jobs without it quite possibly had other ways in, other privileges, or were very lucky. Having experience will always be advantageous over not having it.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 11:13

margotrose · 24/10/2023 10:36

It is important for him to learn to at least try to do what someone in authority (in this case the school) is asking him to do, if it is part of his overall experience (which it is in this case). They are asking him to do it this week, they are offering options if he cannot find something himself. This is not unreasonable and is a lesson in doing what is asked of you, there and then, not 'I'll do it but on my terms because I don't like your terms'.

And do you really think a future employer will know any of that? Of course they won't.

They don't care about when work experience is done and who arranged it - they really don't.

It isn't about the future employer knowing it, it is about him as a person!
He's already being shown he can opt out if the terms aren't exactly as he likes, and that isn't realistic in terms of work.

Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 10:49

LividGas · 24/10/2023 08:40

You’ve got your eye on a cheap holiday. That’s cool, I get it.

But dismissing the canteen and the charity shop as being irrelevant is pretty gross.

Please read my posts before calling me gross!

My son spent a huge chunk of time volunteering in a cafe last year for his bronze DofE and is volunteering for a local charity this year for his silver, a portion of which will be in the shops.

I understand its value.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flufty191 · 24/10/2023 10:46

AuntieMarys · 24/10/2023 08:37

Where has every one else in the year group got work experience?

Mainly through family/friends. We're relatively new to the area though and don't have those local connections.

OP posts:
margotrose · 24/10/2023 10:36

It is important for him to learn to at least try to do what someone in authority (in this case the school) is asking him to do, if it is part of his overall experience (which it is in this case). They are asking him to do it this week, they are offering options if he cannot find something himself. This is not unreasonable and is a lesson in doing what is asked of you, there and then, not 'I'll do it but on my terms because I don't like your terms'.

And do you really think a future employer will know any of that? Of course they won't.

They don't care about when work experience is done and who arranged it - they really don't.

NuffSaidSam · 24/10/2023 10:33

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 10:27

@NuffSaidSam I haven't said anything that isn't true, meanwhile you weaken your argument by calling others 'silly' and suggesting (more than once) that they've said things they haven't actually said.

You've said:

It's been seen as essential by many universities/employers for decades.

This is not true. We all know that. And it is silly to try and prove your point by essentially making stuff up. No University care about what you did for work experience during work experience week.

(I've copied and pasted the bold part from one of your posts, so it's most definitely something you said. If you didn't mean it, maybe go back and edit?).

If you can point out where I've claimed you've said something you haven't, I will happily apologise/edit my post to correct.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 10:30

margotrose · 24/10/2023 10:07

They might not look at the specific job title, but they are often looking at the whole person, not just qualifications etc - work experience, in a job you might not enjoy, actually helps shape the person. Some of the replies on here make that pretty clear tbh!

Lots of things shape who you are as a person - a week of work experience somewhere is no more valid than the voluntary work OP's son is already doing 🤷‍♀️

It is important for him to learn to at least try to do what someone in authority (in this case the school) is asking him to do, if it is part of his overall experience (which it is in this case). They are asking him to do it this week, they are offering options if he cannot find something himself. This is not unreasonable and is a lesson in doing what is asked of you, there and then, not 'I'll do it but on my terms because I don't like your terms'.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 10:27

@NuffSaidSam I haven't said anything that isn't true, meanwhile you weaken your argument by calling others 'silly' and suggesting (more than once) that they've said things they haven't actually said.

margotrose · 24/10/2023 10:26

ittakes2 · 24/10/2023 10:21

I think you might be missing the point. Its about having some discipline and being in a work environment. He'll have to take instructions and build relationships and he might learn some new skills but even if he finds the job totally boring - that's great too as it might inspire him to study harder.

He already does volunteer work and will do a week of work experience in the summer.

What's the benefit of doing this specific week?

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