To take DS on holiday during work experience week

Was that comment really necessary or relevant, or even remotely informed or accurate?

You asked for opinions, and in usual MN style you got them.
Of course the final decision is yours.

Stop taking life so seriously, you'll enjoy it more

Still not a reason not to do the W/E placement offered.

He’s still getting the experience he wanted but doing it for a week in the summer hols instead. You get a cheaper holiday during the original week. Sounds like a win win to me!

Not really.

One of the main aspects of work experience is interacting with adults on a different level to those you are related to or in a classroom / sports coach environment.

The OP's son may be OK in this respect if he's already doing some voluntary work , but I see many young people who really struggle with this aspect . Particularly those whose parents are happy to fund them and they go through both A levels and university without having worked a PT job.

It’s not really that simple though is it? It’s a good lesson in the social contract. He receives an education, his teachers presumably often go above and beyond and in return, he has his own duties to perform.

I really don't think the teachers care all that much if Joe Bloggs or Sophie Smith go away on holiday instead of doing a week of work experience in the school canteen lol.

I do agree though that OP should just say they're off on holiday and leave the work experience out of it.

Maybe the OP is hoping to inspire her DS to a role with more autonomy? Lots of roles do offer that.

It’s not really that simple though is it? It’s a good lesson in the social contract. He receives an education, his teachers presumably often go above and beyond and in return, he has his own duties to perform. There’s nothing to stop him going to talk to his teachers to explain why he doesn’t think the offered experience is useful and why he’d prefer to complete work experience at another time. I doubt they’d be too impressed though because they have to coordinate the needs of all the children. It’s totally different to you negotiating 1 on 1 with a boss! Of course in life you can (and should) be flexible, and there will be times most of us say no to something because it’s inconvenient, but also plenty of times we have to get on with things we don’t want to do. By the way, I really don’t think going on holiday instead is the end of the world. But better to just own it as a family decision rather than trying to make it into a stand about a teenage boy questioning the rules.

If you say so.

Personally I'm glad my parents weren't such sticklers for "the rules" and didn't just blindly follow orders. Life is too bloody short.

None of these are reasons not to take the placement offered, or make more effort to find a better one.

My point was that lots of people work in jobs where they do have plenty of autonomy. Not all jobs are about blindly following directions with no personal freedom.

OP's DS already gets work experience volunteering in a charity shop and he has another week of work experience lined up in the summer.

Expecting him to do work experience on this specific week is of no real benefit to anyone - it's just following "the rules" for the sake of it.

Expecting your child to make an effort to take part in a work experience week is not 'expecting them to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat', in fact it will help them see how to cope when things are less than perfect!

That might not be your experience, but it is the experience for many working people. There is also the fact that there is no good reason for him to opt out of this.

If there is a good reason to opt out or suggest alternative dates then of course we can, but in this case there really isn't good reason. Also, an employer may not honour opt out/change of date.

That's not my experience of the working world.

Yes, there are some things you have to do, but all my employers have been flexible where possible and I've always been able to re-arrange non-essential work activities if needed.

This interesting! I’d find CV help and careers workshops so much more useful than the work experience week!

@Flufty191

As an adult I have to work to my employers schedule, end of - I can't move things to suit me

DS school has a big cohort and anyone who did not find work experience stayed in school and did work activities - CV planning, career workshops, etc.
Is yours definitely "closed" that week?
I think if your son has an alternative summer placement, then you might as well go, but I presume you would be taking it as unauthorised and not pretending he was working somewhere.

Well, you may not, but I certainly have done in the past (I'm self-employed now so can do what I want, pretty much).

I've turned down offers to go on courses, offers to do overtime, offers to change my hours around and increase my responsibility because, for various reasons, it didn't suit me at the time. I've also asked to change my hours and my responsibilities to suit me and my employer has, where possible, agreed to it.

You don't just have to live your life blindly following what you're told to do by school or work.

Of course it's irrelevant.

There's actually nothing wrong with opting out of stuff sometimes - life is about so much more than just abiding by a random set of rules.

He already volunteers. He already has a week of work experience lined up elsewhere. The fact that school want him to do his work experience in a random week is completely meaningless in the long run.

Teaching her son that it's okay to opt out of a pointless activity to go abroad for a week is actually (IMO) a great lesson for him to learn. Honestly, life is so much more than school and rules and "work experience".

I think you need to be honest with yourself about your intentions OP.

If he is a generally good kid and you’re both invested in school and his education and he’s genuinely going to take up the work experience in the summer and it just so happens that the work experience week is the week that works best for your family holiday it’s not the end of the world, although I do think you should be honest with the school about it. Just book the holiday and stop trying to justify it anymore than you would for another week at school.

If you’re both feeling demotivated because you can’t see the point, take a good read of this thread. You’ve been given loads of good advice, benefits of work experience and personal stories of how it’s helped young people. As another story, my most lucrative (and interesting!) part time job as a student was offered to me as I happened to do some much less well paid and more boring menial work for the managing director’s husband. I met her through the job and she was impressed.

If it’s that you do both think it’s beneath him and he shouldn’t have to just do as he’s told, that’s a real shame. Learning to rub along with people and learning that you have to do things you don’t want to do (in pretty much any job) are as important life lessons as any. His job currently is school. This is still school and he can’t just pick and choose what he engages with. If he really doesn’t think he needs to do work experience and you think he’s mature enough to make that decision, then he’s also mature enough to explain his thinking to his teachers.

"I feel sorry for kids who are put under pressure to be perfect all the time, to never miss a beat."

Oh me too but don't kid yourself that making him do work experience is advocating for either of those two things.

Not when it's our employer usually.