To resent 'golddigger' comments?

💯 %!!!!!

Which city is this? I’d like to avoid visiting.

Tell these people they are being rude and sexist.

My parents had the same age gap and didn't have two pennies to rub together but were one of the happiest couples I've ever known, people don't like to see others happy for some strange reason.

I'd nip it in the bud with your daughters though, it's rude to both of you and they sound a little over invested in your financials themselves.

I find it really misogynistic that people assume 'gold-digger' just because an attractive woman has a wealthier partner - and 13 years really isn't a significant or unusual age gap when the younger partner is in their late 30s.

I can understand why your daughters might resent your partner if she was the catalyst for your marriage break-up, but not for any other reason.

Also, I suspect if your partner was looking for a sugar daddy, she would not have picked a man who has four kids (especially including full custody of a pre-teen child).

In the case of your DDs, I assume they don't like her for some reason - do you know why? Is it justified or just the common fact that adult children don't like a new parent? Is your younger dd, who live with you, happy with the partner or is she telling her sisters that she doesn't like her? Because that might be impacting things and the "gold digger" comments are just a way to dismiss her.

Elsewhere - I think it's not surprising that a man with a much younger, very attractive partner, might get some cynical responses. Especially if she's the OW (is she?). But I do think that assuming this relationship is genuine, you should continue to knock it on the head and point out how successful she is or how happy she makes you.

This! And I assume you are not even married and she would therefore be entitled to a share of assets. I'd honestly brush comments off, and have a strict discussion with your daughters about it.

I know the ex wife in similar situation & there’s rather a different slant from her perspective. He was a much loved husband with great family who had an affair. Now he has a new priority & everyone was blindsided.

Do you see much of your children? Did the breakdown of the marriage come as a surprise? Are they in same country?

Just tell them that you have some happiness

I can see how it’s hurtful.

Id try come up with a form but polite phrase you can say such as “oh I didn’t know you knew the ins and outs of our relationship” or something sarcastic enough they know to back off. And keep saying it until they get the message. Or just say “I’m uncomfortable with you making comments about my wife’s appearance/the amount of money I have, please stop”

I think it's because people perceive a power imbalance and it's their way of expressing their distaste.

It's always going to come up, it's just the way people are...an older wealthy man with four kids and a much younger more physically attractive than him woman...people will always read into that as there is often an element of truth to the stereotype.

You'll either need to develop a thick skin and laugh off the banter, distance yourself from people or only have relationships with women your own age who have careers equal to yours.

Apart from your daughters, who else is making these comments? It's hard to know how to respond without knowing whether this is a colleague, someone at a bar or your siblings for example.

TBF I expect for every one who says it out loud, there are a lot more thinking it.

If you had got together with a much better off woman in her 70s, people would have said the same about you.

IMO is quite natural for people to wonder why someone would get together with a much older person (especially if the perceived age gap looks even bigger) over someone closer to them in age, and the most boring and obvious reason is money. You clearly have a good bit more money than her (what do you mean re: family background? that your parents are well off for example?) so people don't need to wonder any further.

I think firstly you need to ask yourself whether there's even the smallest grain of truth in this. If you were broke and in the same line or work as your partner, do believe in your inmost heart that she would have gone for you? If it's a yes then when it comes to your daughters I'd have a chat with them both (when you're out without your partner) and explain why you'd like them to stop saying it, but also ask what their concerns are.

Tell them the only people who worry about gold-digging are men with no ‘gold’ and/or those hoping to inherit/benefit from your gold (your children/family members).

To be honest if I were a gold digger a man with 4 kids and the expenses that they incur wouldn’t be my ideal prey.

It must hurtful especially when coming from your own daughters. To be quite blunt I would respond with something like well nasty comments will get you cut out of the will quicker than anything and wink. But I do really think they find the prospect of a partner who could well out survive you by a number of years a threat to their perceived inheritance!