To ask for your cringeworthy childhood memories?

I’ve got so many … I was a very sensitive but socially awkward child. This was probably the worst…

When I was about 8 I went on a coach trip to a stately home with my parents. We were just finishing our tea when the tour guide started chivvying people to get back on the bus. This made me anxious so I told my parents I’d go ahead while they finished up. I took a wrong turn almost immediately and got horrendously lost in the grounds of the stately home. Then it started pouring with rain and the light started to go. Soaked and totally shitting myself I managed to find the main road and flagged down a car ( thankfully it had a nice family in it not a murderous predator). They got me back to the car park where the coach was parked but it was over an hour later and I had to do the walk of shame up the aisle of the bus. Because I was late, a much anticipated tour through a pretty Cotswold Village on the way back was cancelled. Everyone was miffed and my face burned with shame the whole way home. 😩

I went to a CofE primary. No idea why as family are atheist.

Every day we'd have a morning assembly with hymns and with my dad's encouragement I'd replace any reference to Jesus with Brian. With interjections whenever there was any reference to the 'son of god' as 'he's not the son of god, hes a very naughty boy!'

As in Life of Brian. Looking back I cringe.

I'm crying at Cunt Stubble 😂😂😂

When I was in primary school we were learning about the origins of common suffixes such as what other languages they come from, such as 'ology' comes from Greek and means 'to study'. We then had to write a list of as many words as we could think of from that origin. I was interested to learn the suffix 'graphy' and proudly began my list with the word pornography! I don't know where I had heard the word before but I thought the teacher would be really impressed I had one no one else had thought of. I still cringe 30 years later!

Oh god this has just reminded me of loudly telling my primary class about my dad's friend Master Bates. Did not get the joke at all.

Also a joke about Uranus. That one came from my older brother. I had no clue.

My family are arses in many ways!

Me and my best friend were bored during the summer holidays (we must have been about 13??) and wanted money to go shopping in our local town centre so we handmade "leaflets" which we distributed through the doors of my neighbours houses (this was clearly a time when kids were left on their own all day and had to be creative 😂)

The leaflets said "We (Starlight and X) are looking for summer jobs. We will do anything for money...".

Not just one but several of our neighbours came round when my mum was home from work to tell her what we had done and to kindly point out we might want to rephrase our advertisements 😂

I was playing in the garden of my brother's friend when I was about 10 years old. The family had about 6 children and prams to match.
They also had a dog that shit on the lawn where we were playing so I decided to drive one of the pushchairs through the dog shit several times. One of the smaller children decided to copy me and got asked to stop by his mother that had seen us.

This is my favourite 😅

As kids, my sibling and I would press neighbours' door bell and run away. We were caught once, the lady complained and we got serious telling off.

This is so sad. Where we were literally everything was second hand so nobody cared! I've done the same with my kids and almost all of their Christmas presents have been second-hand it never bothers them even as teenagers.

Fainting in front of the entire year group during year 8 assembly.... 🫣

We used to stay at a field centre in our penultimate year of primary school. Emboldened by the chance of scene, I can distinctly remember asking my male teacher (who wasn't attractive so no misplaced crush) whether he had a double or single bed at home in front of all my friends. More than once.

Eventually the poor man gave in and said he had a double bed. WTF was I thinking?

I went to America for a holiday as a child and came back, not with an accent as such, but a definite attempt to emphasise certain words in an American way (think ICE cream instead of ice CREAM). How my parents put up with this affectation I do not know but they didn’t really mention it.
However, a boy I liked said I sounded like “a twat” so I phased it out.

@cariadlet that's made me laugh so much 😂

I remember loudly asking my parents what 'Buggery' was when he had a house full of friends and relatives. I thought it was something similar to burglary 🤦‍♀️

We'd gone to stay at my grandma's for a few days. I remember lying on the living room floor, reading the latest copy of Jackie magazine. I was absorbed in the problem page but didn't understand all of the problems.

I turned to my Mum and, in a very loud voice, asked her what pubic hair was.

My poor Mum was mortified at having to explain in front of my rather straight laced, old fashioned grandma.

I got a bicycle one year at Christmas, aged 8 or 9 ish. Rode it proudly. Until the original owner of the bike (an older, local girl) asked me how I liked her old bike. I was mortified/humiliated/embarrassed that everyone in the neighbourhood knew my bike was second hand. I knew my parents weren't loaded, but I never, ever rode that bike again. Being one of the "poorer kids" whose parents relied on hand me downs & second hand items wasn't fun. Now I realise I shouldn't have let it get to me. As an adult, I regret that I let it get to me.

As a convent educated girl, I feel this 🤣

I love this 🤣

I went to a Catholic school. When we were making our confirmations we had to write a profile about ourselves, including what we wanted to do when we grew up, to get put up in the local church. On the day that we were writing the profiles, the teacher went round the class asking everyone what they were putting down as their desired career, another girl in the class, let's call her Ann, said to the teacher that when she grew up she wanted to be a nun. The teacher was so pleased with this that she called in other teachers from neighbouring classes to tell them and the girl even got a sweet as a reward for having such a noble ambition. I, on the other hand, had just spent half the morning standing out in the corridor because I'd gotten into trouble for something so when the teacher got round to asking me what I was putting down as my future career, I also said that I wanted to be a nun, thinking that it would get me back onside. But instead my teacher saw straight through my attempt to garner favour and just said, "very good" and moved onto the next child. I was furious that Ann got so much praise and that the teacher barely even acknowledged that I had said I wanted to be a nun. And so I told her again, which she ignored. I then went home and told my parents that I wanted to be a nun, with pretty much the same response so I started telling almost anyone who would listen that I wanted to be a nun. Everyone either brushed it off or didn't seem to believe me and this made me want to prove that I wasn't just saying it and that I really did want to become a nun! I even started going to church every single morning before school! At the end of the year because it was our final year at primary school, we had yearbooks made up and had to write what we wanted to be when we grew up in them. Of course, I said I wanted to be a nun for that too because I wasn't going to give up now and let my teacher know that I'd just said it to get a sweet and fawned over like Ann had so now I have it in writing, as does everyone else who was in my class, that my life's goal as an 11 year old girl was to become a nun...

Had to suffer for that one slightly at high school.

P.S. I'm now 37 and not a nun...

I was with my family in Spain. It was my birthday. We went into a shop and my dad, who had a grip of the language, was telling the owner that it was my birthday and she offered me a fan, an item I'd covet today, and I said "no thank you, that's not what I want". My parents were mortified as she was simply offering a gift. I thought they had to pay for it. Awful all round. I was only 8 or 9 years old. I'm in my mid 50's now and I still cringe about it. The lady must have thought I was so rude!

When I was 11, as part of a public speaking project, I gave a talk to the whole class about the Guy Fawkes plot.

I told them all about the hostilities between Catholics and Prostitutes. 🤦‍♀️

I have another one. When I was 5 or 6 we went on holiday to a hotel. It was the 1970s and it wasn't unusual for hotel bathrooms to be shared by numerous guests as ensuites weren't really a thing. My parents had primed me to always be polite to other guests and to say, "Good morning" or "Good evening" if I encountered someone in the corridor. I was also too young to reliably work a lock or bolt so at home I never locked the bathroom door. You can see where this is going.
On Day 2 of the holiday I was sitting on the toilet happily doing a poo and singing to myself when in walked a young teenage boy. He stood, aghast, in the doorway and I thought, "Aha, I know what to do here" so I beamed at him and said, "Good morning!". I was wearing my red sunhat for some reason, so I gave an added flourish and raised my hat to him. Poor kid couldn't run away fast enough but I was very proud of myself when I told my parents what had happened and couldn't work out why they thought it was so funny.
My Mum accompanied me on all bathroom trips after that and I believe the poor, traumatised boy had a few ice creams sent his way at teatime.

I was 9 and queueing for a donkey ride on Southport beach. Sunday School day trip. The queue was long and I was on my own and listening to the Scottish man in front of me talking to his daughter, who was about 5. He turned to me and asked, "Do you have the right time?", to which I replied, "Aye, it's a quarter to three" in an accent as broad and Scottish as his own.
I am not a Scot and normally have a nondescript but clearly English accent. I have no idea why I suddenly adopted the man's accent but apparently "unintentional mirroring" is a thing.

I was about 12 and had to take my 3 younger brothers to the church fete. My then 6 year old DB1 decided he was going to pull down my tracksuit bottoms but put his hand in the wrong waist band - what felt like the entire place saw my bare bum and my hairy fanny! I still cringe at the memory and have never got over the humiliation!!!!!!

I was in Brownies as a child and we were going to have an fund raising evening with stalls selling home baking and such. They had told me to "bring a bottle or two" for the raffle so I went home and insisted to my mum that I was to bring a couple of empty bottles for this raffle the next week. My mum was mortified when I walked over with my 2 empty bottles as prizes to be won!