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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this colleague was rude?

94 replies

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 22:16

We both work as long haul cabin crew. We are based at London Heathrow but live up north in Cheshire. We were both on the same flight so she asked if we could share a car to Heathrow and back home from Heathrow after we get back so I agreed. She wanted me to drive and use my car so I agreed. In the end she spent the whole drive complaining about everything, the music, the window, the car, pretty much everything. I just think it’s a bit rude to ask someone to drive you and then complain about absolutely everything. She was literally complaining every few minutes the whole way to Heathrow and the whole way home.

OP posts:

DietrichandDiMaggio · 21/10/2023 01:15

I never drive in silence. If I have a friend in the car I'll probably turn it down when we are chatting. The default is the radio on, maybe an album for longer journeys, though with a passenger in the car I wouldn't have music blaring out for me to sing along to, I certainly wouldn't turn it off. On long journeys these days I often listen to podcasts as well, but probably wouldn't do that with someone else there.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:54

As to the open window... in the not so dim and distant past before AC, it was entirely commonplace to have the windows open a bit during journeys.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:52

OP’s colleague could have been in pain.

Given she complained about everything, for sure she'd have said if that was the case. You're just making things up to be contrary.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:49

viques · 20/10/2023 23:44

Driver chooses music. Driver chooses temperature. That’s the law.

I’m sorry but who the hell has a window open on a motorway for 3 hours?! That’s insane and OP’s colleague could have been in pain.

viques · 20/10/2023 23:44

Driver chooses music. Driver chooses temperature. That’s the law.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:43

To be absolutely clear my colleague never once mentioned that she wanted to go to sleep so I’m not sure why you keep going on about if she wanted to sleep

It's a Friday night, there's always one or two like that.

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:42

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:29

No but I can see why OP’s colleague may have struggled with the journey in OP’s car. Who the hell has a window open on a motorway for 3 hours! And who has music on an evening drive after a flight when OP’s colleague may have just wanted to have a sleep.

Show quote history

To be absolutely clear my colleague never once mentioned that she wanted to go to sleep so I’m not sure why you keep going on about if she wanted to sleep

OP posts:

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:39

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:23

I think the OP was astonishingly generous to give this person a lift back up after she'd complained all the way down!

I definitely won’t be doing it again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:38

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:19

I think the OP should have been more considerate of her colleague here to be honest. OP doesn’t come across like a friendly or welcoming person in my opinion.

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I can assure you that I am actually a very friendly person

OP posts:

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:38

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 20/10/2023 23:35

Window open, music on? Someone’s jet lagged and shouldn’t be driving. Why aren’t you using your ID90 for LHR-MAN?

BTW, yes, they were rude, probably too lazy to drive home, but simply say no next time.

I prefer driving and have done so for all the years that I’ve been in this job

OP posts:

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 20/10/2023 23:35

Window open, music on? Someone’s jet lagged and shouldn’t be driving. Why aren’t you using your ID90 for LHR-MAN?

BTW, yes, they were rude, probably too lazy to drive home, but simply say no next time.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:29

CharlotteStreetW1 · 20/10/2023 23:26

Are you the colleague?

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NahNahKissHimGoodbye · 20/10/2023 23:27

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/10/2023 22:19

“Rude” doesn’t quite cover it. Wasn’t there anywhere convenient on the drive where you could have chucked her out of the car? Or left her stranded at motorway services?

Exactly what I would have been tempted to do!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 20/10/2023 23:26

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:21

This. OP you need to consider that your colleague could have been in pain.

Show quote history

Are you the colleague?

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:23

I think the OP was astonishingly generous to give this person a lift back up after she'd complained all the way down!

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:21

adjacenttoquiteafewspheres · 20/10/2023 23:03

Was the window wide open? On the motorway? Creating that horrible ear hurting whistling vacuum?

That was pretty inhospitable of you if so.

This. OP you need to consider that your colleague could have been in pain.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:19

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:15

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP?

Tough. If you cadge a long free lift off someone you don't get to dictate terms.

As everyone apart from you seems to know.

I think the OP should have been more considerate of her colleague here to be honest. OP doesn’t come across like a friendly or welcoming person in my opinion.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/10/2023 23:15

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP?

Tough. If you cadge a long free lift off someone you don't get to dictate terms.

As everyone apart from you seems to know.

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:14

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:11

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP? I know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep on a motorway with the window open and music on.

Show quote history

She definitely did not want to sleep. She never once mentioned wanting to sleep

OP posts:

Original poster

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:14

adjacenttoquiteafewspheres · 20/10/2023 23:07

Why do you have the window open for the three hour motorway commute? Is it to prevent you from falling asleep?

Whole thing sounds dangerous tbh. Why do you flout the safety rules?

I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep at the wheel. I would pull over and stop driving if I felt way too tired or like I was going to fall asleep.

OP posts:

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:11

Teenagehorrorbag · 20/10/2023 23:03

What? It's OPs car, she's doing the colleague a massive favour and not even getting petrol money. If colleague wants quiet and closed windows she takes her own car!

Show quote history

What is OP’s colleague wanted to sleep though and couldn’t because of OP? I know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep on a motorway with the window open and music on.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:10

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:05

She definitely did not want to sleep. She just wanted complete silence for some reason. She never once suggested that she wanted to sleep.

Show quote history

How do you know that she didn’t want to sleep OP? Maybe she did want to sleep and couldn’t because you had music on and the window open.

User976541 · 20/10/2023 23:09

adjacenttoquiteafewspheres · 20/10/2023 23:03

Was the window wide open? On the motorway? Creating that horrible ear hurting whistling vacuum?

That was pretty inhospitable of you if so.

This. You sound very ignorant and entitled OP.

LylaLee · 20/10/2023 23:09

Redcloudsinthesky · 20/10/2023 23:08

The window is not fully wide open.

That whistling noise hurts your ears

adjacenttoquiteafewspheres · 20/10/2023 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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