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Original poster

To ask if anyone has advice for sudden crippling driving anxiety.

87 replies

InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 17:50

Really need some help after the day I’ve had.

I’ve always loved cars, always loved driving. Been driving since 17 with my own car, have driven the length and breadth of the country, a day off always involved jumping in the car, driving and exploring for hours. But the last 6 months I have been developing a serious driving anxiety.

Started with not being comfortable on motorways, then progressed to being really nervous coming into bends and now if I see an open road in front of me my body goes into panic. Roads in my locality that I drive often are completely fine.

The last 2 ‘long’ drives I’ve had to do have been horrendous, and frankly dangerous. Any bend, unevenness, or a wide stretch of road in front of me has pretty much brought on a panic attack. Hands sweating, legs shaking, chest thumping and feeling like my vision is about to go.

The first was after a weekend away, and lots of drinks, so I just put it down to being hungover and fragile. I had to pull in 3 times, once for 40mins, in the space of a 1 hour journey.

Today I had a two hour journey that I had to do for work, I was about 30mins into it and it began. Had to pull in, gathered myself but was on the verge of a panic attack for the whole journey there and back. I’m home now and my heart is still thumping and I have a terrible headache.

I have a certain amount of driving to do for my job and I’m a single Mum so I NEED to tackle this.

So as not to drip feed, I've suffered from general anxiety through the years but with medication and counselling I pretty much overcame it.

I was also in a couple of car accidents, 1 serious when I was 14 and another not so serious when I was about 29. I'm 35 now.

Has anyone overcome this? How do I do this? Counselling, hypnotism, medication?

All advice welcome, I really need to get on top of this.

OP posts:
Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 20:52

So glad you're okay @70sDuvet and feel back in control x That gives me another bit of hope and I'll add lessons to the list

OP posts:
Tortugaa · 19/10/2023 20:51

I had this when I was under a lot of stress. I didn’t realise it was causing my driving anxiety until the stress reduced and then strangely the driving anxiety cleared up too. I think it is a subconscious thing, if you’re stressed your body is on high alert.

Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 20:50

@Nomoreminecraftplease I'm only 35 and Mom probably started at 56ish, she was probably peri for years before though. I mentioned it up thread that so many posters referenced menopause, I'll ask GP about a hormone check.

OP posts:
Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 20:48

brainexplorer · 19/10/2023 19:53

Find an EMDR practitioner. My money is on that car accident at 14 being responsible. It's a weird age to go through trauma - not an adult, not a kid. It can be really confusing to experience an out of control event like that and the brain can hide PTSD for a long time.

Thanks @brainexplorer, I've used therapy on and off for 20years and have been in a really good place, but maybe it is a bit of a subconscious thing? We crashed on a wide open road, coming round a bend and rolled for about 400mtrs, and open roads and swooping bends are definitely a trigger for this anxiety now.

But why now after all these years 😭

OP posts:
Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 20:46

sweetpeaorchestra · 19/10/2023 19:50

Hi, I have this too and unfortunately haven’t tackled it so it’s become quite a debilitating part of my life.
E.g., I now can’t even drive near motorways.

I was in a bad accident with a drunk driver but cracked on fine after that. It was when lockdown stopped me driving I suddenly developed all the anxiety, then you feed into it.

What helped is propanol as others mentioned, and EMDR therapy. I’m hoping when I can afford to resume this and pay for some practice lessons, I might get back driving long journeys again!

Even if there’s not one specific trauma, EMDR - poss like hypnotherapy - rejigs your memories and responses, and ultimately takes the power out of the thing that causes anxiety.

Good luck OP, so many of us out there (and many with no accidents but common as women get older). I wish rail services were better and cheaper so we were less dependent on cars incidentally, but I think the sooner you tackle it hopefully the quicker you can nip in the bud (unlike me!)

I'm so sorry to hear this @sweetpeaorchestra it just limits life so much, I hate that we're dealing with this. I just can't get over how out of the blue this is.

I'm gonna call my GP first thing in the morning, I absolutely need to get a handle on this. I've been home for nearly 3 hours and I'm still not 100%, this stress can't be good for the body.

OP posts:
Blarn · 19/10/2023 20:10

And also, what PPs have said about propranolol stopping the physical symptoms is true, they can be great to help with things like this.

Blarn · 19/10/2023 20:08

As a fellow sufferer or lifelong anxiety, I would say your suspicion that this is how your stress is coming out is correct. I am nearly 40 and only learned to drive in the last year. A few years of antidepressants sorted out my anxiety and depression and neiher has returned to anywhere near the same level. I always assumed I would be awful at driving so why bother!

I have had quite a stressful couple of months and I definitely have found myself more aprehensive when driving, especially anywhere new. What helps me is keeping count of how many bad drivers I see, it makes me think that no, I am actually good at this! That might not help for everyone but it does me as my worry is that I will make a mistake, not that other people might. That's out of my hands.

70sDuvet · 19/10/2023 20:01

I have had this. I got lessons again from a driving instructor. Just 5 and it boosted my confidence and I'm back in complete control.

It was after a bad motorway crash- not my fault and I was physically unable to drive for 2 years but after that time I couldn't think about getting into the car again.

Also using satnav even when I know where I am going takes that bit of mental thinking away and I can concentrate on the other bits better.

Nomoreminecraftplease · 19/10/2023 19:57

Piratesue · 19/10/2023 19:56

Sorry if this has been mentioned, I went through this a while ago. Went onto HRT for peri menopause and I've been fine since

Same

Piratesue · 19/10/2023 19:56

Sorry if this has been mentioned, I went through this a while ago. Went onto HRT for peri menopause and I've been fine since

Nomoreminecraftplease · 19/10/2023 19:54

How old are you? I developed this as part of my perimenopausal symptoms. It really is a thing and I had no clue that it was a symptom of the menopause. Read davina mccall menopausing. Its mentioned in there. Could it be that?

brainexplorer · 19/10/2023 19:53

Find an EMDR practitioner. My money is on that car accident at 14 being responsible. It's a weird age to go through trauma - not an adult, not a kid. It can be really confusing to experience an out of control event like that and the brain can hide PTSD for a long time.

sweetpeaorchestra · 19/10/2023 19:50

Hi, I have this too and unfortunately haven’t tackled it so it’s become quite a debilitating part of my life.
E.g., I now can’t even drive near motorways.

I was in a bad accident with a drunk driver but cracked on fine after that. It was when lockdown stopped me driving I suddenly developed all the anxiety, then you feed into it.

What helped is propanol as others mentioned, and EMDR therapy. I’m hoping when I can afford to resume this and pay for some practice lessons, I might get back driving long journeys again!

Even if there’s not one specific trauma, EMDR - poss like hypnotherapy - rejigs your memories and responses, and ultimately takes the power out of the thing that causes anxiety.

Good luck OP, so many of us out there (and many with no accidents but common as women get older). I wish rail services were better and cheaper so we were less dependent on cars incidentally, but I think the sooner you tackle it hopefully the quicker you can nip in the bud (unlike me!)

Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:57

Celibacyinthesticks · 19/10/2023 18:54

Here’s one of the videos I found helpful and not so alone!

Thank you @Celibacyinthesticks x

OP posts:
Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:56

@Celibacyinthesticks I could have written this post, this is exactly how I feel. Like I'll lose control and just drive off the road, like the car will topple over if I take a bend too quick, like I'll fall off the edge of the road is in anyway high. As you said, it's a very real physical sensation. And I also feel much happier on roads with headers surrounding, I'll happily travel 100km+ but can't do it on a wide open road.

I drive a low profile car and always loved that it 'stuck to the road'...now I'm terrified it'll topple? Maybe I need to give up my idea of a coupe and look at bigger cars like a Volvo or something?

So many posters have said menopause... could I be peri menopausal at this age maybe???

OP posts:
Celibacyinthesticks · 19/10/2023 18:47

This happened to me a few months ago, started when I got my lovely new car, took it for its first spin on the day it arrived, took it up the local duel carriage way and suddenly my legs started to shake, my hands were sweating, heart pounding and I had to pull over into a lay-by, I think it was my first ever panic attack, luckily my husband was with me so he took over. I initially put it down to me being worried about damaging the new car and it being a totally different type to what I was used to driving. I thought it was a one off and happily drove around town for a few weeks but when I had to go on a duel carriage way again I had another panic attack but worse this time, in my head I was convinced I had no control and my car was going to veer off the road, I think I actually screamed I was so frightened, I immediately pulled off into a lay -by and knew I had a real problem. Unfortunately things got worse and I could then barely drive down the road outside my house as I really felt the car was going to veer off, it was a real physical sensation.

Anyway to cut a very long story short I have put it down to two things, menopause anxiety and the car itself, we changed the tyres and various other things which made it feel far more stable (it’s a tall quite high vehicle) and this really helped my confidence, the veering and toppling over sensation has mainly gone, though I do still have to distract myself particularly on wide open roads surrounded by miles of fields. I feel much happier on small roads with hedges around me, makes me feel safer for some reason. I do still avoid duel carriage ways but I’m working on it. I really sympathise OP, there are some helpful YouTube videos on sudden onset driving anxiety, it’s far more common than I realised! I hope you find a way through.

Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:44

violetcuriosity · 19/10/2023 18:38

I have exactly this except I suddenly start feeling a rush of anxiety and feel like I might faint. I've had it for years now and do find I avoid driving long distances but sometimes I need to go on the dual carriageway. I find I'm ok if I know there's a hard shoulder so I can do an emergency pull over if I need to but always start to panic when there isn't one. I find these things help-

  1. Thinking to myself, this has happened so many times and you've never passed out

  2. Sticking to 60-65mph seems to limit the vertigo type symptoms which is much better too

  3. When there's no hard shoulder and I'm panicking I can't stop if I need to I just keep thinking that if I desperately needed to I could put the hazards on and just pull over if I had to.

I might actually ask for some proprononal too.

The feeling of fainting totally resonates with me, that's what I'm ultimately afraid of.

Thank you for the tips, I'll try them... I was telling myself out loud in the car 'you've driven this road a thousand times, you love driving' over and over and it didn't help.

And I'm honestly just gutted because I LOVED driving, I want that back, not just feel like driving is a chore I need to get on with, I want to enjoy it again. I've been home an hour and I'm still crying and chest is still tight. This just sucks so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:40

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 19/10/2023 18:38

This happened to me too, although after a long break from driving. I moved somewhere I had to drive every day, with a small child in the back, and honestly the anxiety was crippling. I tried hypnotherapy and cutting out caffeine, alcohol etc - but the only thing that worked was anti-depressants. It was like flicking a switch - I still felt uneasy at times on a new route but the daily drive became fine again. I was so so relieved.

I think hormones were a factor in my case too, with stopping bf. And I know you were on meds before but maybe worth trying them again?

I think I will have to talk to my GP about the antidepressants which is really upsetting, I was so proud of myself and I put on so u h weight when I was on them I never wanted to go back.

Maybe a hormone check if he would do it would be no harm, along with a round of bloods.

Thanks @lifesnotaspectatorsport x

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 19/10/2023 18:38

I have exactly this except I suddenly start feeling a rush of anxiety and feel like I might faint. I've had it for years now and do find I avoid driving long distances but sometimes I need to go on the dual carriageway. I find I'm ok if I know there's a hard shoulder so I can do an emergency pull over if I need to but always start to panic when there isn't one. I find these things help-

  1. Thinking to myself, this has happened so many times and you've never passed out

  2. Sticking to 60-65mph seems to limit the vertigo type symptoms which is much better too

  3. When there's no hard shoulder and I'm panicking I can't stop if I need to I just keep thinking that if I desperately needed to I could put the hazards on and just pull over if I had to.

I might actually ask for some proprononal too.

Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:38

@Lemoncurd it's awful isn't it? I was on the way home today and I got about halfway and thought about calling a tow truck to come get the car and drop me and it home. I didn't care how much it was going to cost and I haven't told anyone about this problem so didn't want to call family. It's completely debilitating x

I'm only 35 so might be a bit young for menopause. Mum started menopause about 56/57. But maybe I'm super early or it's another hormonal thing?

Are you back driving now?

OP posts:
lifesnotaspectatorsport · 19/10/2023 18:38

This happened to me too, although after a long break from driving. I moved somewhere I had to drive every day, with a small child in the back, and honestly the anxiety was crippling. I tried hypnotherapy and cutting out caffeine, alcohol etc - but the only thing that worked was anti-depressants. It was like flicking a switch - I still felt uneasy at times on a new route but the daily drive became fine again. I was so so relieved.

I think hormones were a factor in my case too, with stopping bf. And I know you were on meds before but maybe worth trying them again?

Lemoncurd · 19/10/2023 18:34

Lots of sympathy for you. This happened to me, nearly 30 years of driving and one day I just couldn't drive the 5 mile journey home from school pick-up, it had been building up for a few weeks. Tried to calm myself down, bought some rescue remedy, tried a different route, took child to a cafe for camomile tea, tried again. Was fine pottering around the town, but any attempt to leave triggered panic attack symptoms.

GP immediately said menopause, start HRT. Haven't tried it yet, so can't comment on how effective it might be.

Original poster
InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:29

@Eyesopenwideawake I'm actually based in Ireland, I assume you might be UK? Good to know the terminology though, I'll look up Control System Practitioners near me 👍

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 19/10/2023 18:28

InAPickle12345 · 19/10/2023 18:23

Thank you @Eyesopenwideawake I'll have a look for people in my area offering hypnosis... I'll honestly try anything for this not to get worse

Show quote history

Happy to send you a list of Control System practitioners to see if there's any local to you.