AIBU for pulling out of a mutual exchange and refusing to move?

I thought you were going to say you were 60.

you are going to want more space very soon. If you can afford the house now and you enjoy living there, you would be irresponsible to give it up.

Even if it is a bit of a stretch financially at the moment, this is an investment in your long term financial stability. As long as it is manageable, stay put.

Please can anyone reading this advise me as I'm feeling suicidal home is everything to me it's the very foundations of life & now I have absolutely nothing & have lossed two beautiful flats in under 6mths ..

I recently did a mutual exchange that was against my will , I was groomed cohursed Gaslighted into doing so as my last forever flat was going to be condemned I was Decanted into a beautiful flat with carpets paid for £1700 it had a brand new kitchen brand new bathroom totally refurbished..allso a mirrored bulit in wardrobe that cost £600 ...but there were trees 🌳 that were blocking both my front room & bedroom I couldn't see outside & it stopped most natural light I was all by myself & suffer with severe mental health issues..the parasites that I did the exchange with were constantly tx messaging me on the phone on msgr & her husband would tx me sms she would constantly hound me during the day ..he would hound me during the night it was non stop I was allso having to look after my Autistic grandson with adhd that's was nearly 4 yrs old..I wasn't getting any sleep & still ain't.. there flat is adapted with a adapted toilet & walk in shower I was Groomed & brain washed due to all the stress of my last flat being condemned & the fact I the trees 🌳 were having a Detrimental effect on my exsisting mental health illnesses..the flat I was Decanted to was beautiful , these parasites completely stolen my life as I didn't know about the rules of a mutual exchange there was nothing mutual about it.. she kept saying don't you let me down I have had a nervous breakdown from all of this & lossed a lot of weight can't sleep properly & the flat I moved into has a Adapted wet room that I do not want or need & has a high rise toilet that I don't need it was left in a shit hole state..I have had suicidal thoughts about over this as the other flat was gonna be my happy ever after home I wish I could have tollorated the trees 🌳.. would anybody know if I would have any rights as the exchange should not have gone ahead due to the fact that they only had the wet room fitted 7mths before that horrible day that I spoke with them on msgr. They just came over straight away & I told them I was not comfortable with them just turning up. & the fact I was all by myself I said No Way At First..then the next thing I know I had to move she kept going on about her husband having Epilepsy sezure's ie guilt tripping me.. you all may think silly cow.. but I have been completely mugged off & abuse when in a extremely vulnerable mental state with exsisting mental health illnesses that my landlord knew about this exchange was a few months ago now is there anything that I can do to get help here as the flat I now live in is damp cold & depressing ..I'm having to sleep on my sons couch things are that bad.. the place stinks of sweaty cats I allso have to keep the fridge freezer in the front room I feel suicidal..as I dis have the perfect flat but was cohursed into doing a exchange..I did email my exsisting landlord but they said sorry too late exchange has gone through but there was illegal conflicts going on throughout the duration..I feel so ashamed & stupid & now am stuck with a flat I can't even stay in ..without feeling violated can someone pls advise me if they know how I can get this Wrong Doing rectified I did read that a mutual exchange can be reversed but would I need a housing solicitor for that ??

Stay strong OP

Yanbu

it sounds like you didn’t want to move before looking for a mex and just been pressured into it by siblings.

That couple sounds horrible!

Your’e legally allowed to stay put and if you did move and then started a family you’d find yourself on the back end of this exchange possibly in a 1 bed flat with multiple people on a ridiculous waiting list. Sometimes you just got to be selfish. Could you possibly sub-let a room? Or take students?

No op isn't abusing the system . Absolutely not. We want to enable people to have a secure home. At an affordable rent. It's not a "pittance".

It's not op's fault greedy private landlords charge an excessive amount. It's not op's fault the govt isn't building enough.

Any development over about 10-20 homes will have some form of affordable housing, it's a planning requirement. If you look on line at the planning application you should be able to find the section 106 agreement that will set out the affordable housing requirement for the site. Sites under ten homes don't have to provide any affordable homes.

@WrongSwanson

I’m not angry at all,
just replying to several people claiming that having social housing accommodation is not getting a benefit when it actually is.

They are living in accommodation which they could never afford to live in without the council assisting them to get it.

The OP is a good example, living in a 3 bed house on her own and probably paying pittance rent, she is abusing the system.
But then again the council should have regulations in place so this sort of thing Dosen’t happen.

I'm not giving up reasonably priced secure housing to make you feel better

Get angry with be people trying to get rich by being landlords, not at people living in social housing

Exactly this.

I work in the sector - If op is paying the rent then they are paying enough to fully cover the cost of their property and probably subsidise others who default on rent etc in the HA.

The fact there are private sector landlords who are greedy fuckers is neither here nor there.

Yanbu. It's your home. Ignore all the pressures and look after yourself

Of course they are 🙄 that word entitled is over used!

My area is building LOADS of houses on farmland none of it is social housing

My children are autistic they don't just "not get along" and I will be entitled to a three bed again in just over 12 months plus I'm currently on benefits if I go into a private rented two bed the taxpayers will be paying 700 pcm currently they are paying 378 pcm technically if I want to I can challenge it they will pay it all because ds2 is on hrc of dla and I'm ENTITLED to the third bedroom for him you have zero clue and zero idea

I agree with this.

Now all you have to do is elect a government that will follow it through.

Build loads of houses of all tenures, there is an absolutely chronic shortage in some parts of the country, as we should have been doing for the last 40 years.

They aren't receiving a benefit. They are paying a reasonable rent to a landlord that does not make excessive profits.

The OPs issue has been addressed and she's unlikely to be back. The thread evolved, as they do and as usual it's full of ignorant people who have an opinion on what people should do with their homes. It's fuck all to do with anyone else if someone stays in their house or not. You don't see it in any other housing situation.

No, they're just not stumping up profits, SH rents are fair rents. Why are private rents the benchmark?

You can't tie yourself up in knots and make out it's a bastard benefit no matter what you say

Sure, I agree properties left empty to rot is a problem as are rogue landlords, but it's a totally different issue and doesn't address the OPs situation on this thread.

@x2boys

This may blow your mind but many social. Housing tenants do actually pay their own rent.

Read what I wrote before commenting, I am fully aware that housing tenants pay rent, but it is substantially less rent than they would be paying if they were renting privately, therefore they are receiving benefits that are not available to everyone because of their circumstances, I’m not begrudging the less fortunate but it is a fact.

Maybe just maybe shine a spotlight on the private rental market. Rent controls, limits on portfolios, no more buy to lets, and get landlords under strict conditions so the greedy fuckers can't duck out of their responsibilities. Private rentals are a step down from SH and people can't stand that.

Crack down on empty properties that are just sitting around and take ownership and given to local authorities. Whether they're owned by the rich from other countries or just abandoned.

Just because private rents are shit, doesn't mean SH needs to he brought down to those levels.

Same arguments now as when this scenario was first posted about.
There is no financial or moral obligation for the poster to give up her house.
For those who think she could/should downsize to a two bedroomed place,this might not be allowed by the LA as the op would still have 1 bedroom more than she required .in the same way that her three bedroomed home might be deemed to big for a couple with two young children.
It's not just as easy as going onto the MEX register. There are still rules involved .
OP stay where you are ,you owe nothing to anyone. You keep paying your rent and tell your family to butt out of your business

Then the time should be extended but they still can't be there forever. As they can't in private properties.