AIBU to ask to bring my baby to a wedding?

I can't understand why that request has offended her?

Didnt she reply?

Some people are so weird with this stuff

OP hasn’t been invited to the wedding, only to the reception. So yes, in that sense it is just a party.

It's an excuse if the baby wasn't originally going to be invited.
If someone doesn't invite children they've already discounted any valid reasons for them to come.

It’s not an excuse, it is a reason.

In my circle there were a lot of breastfed babies, to at least 6 months anyway. I don't recall anyone using breastfeeding as an excuse to take the child somewhere it wasn't actually invited though, the invite would just be declined or the mum may go for a shorter time/express milk if that was an option.

Weddings are about whatever the couple want them to be about/they can afford. Lavish affairs are also not an option for many, and people will chose different ways to keep numbers to a minimum if need be.

Child loathing 🙄. How can anyone take that sort of hype seriously?

It's not child loathing to accept the can't/won't be invited everywhere.

Once upon a time, Weddings were celebrations of two families coming together. Apparently that is a long gone tradition and its all now all about the attention.

I imagine the next generation will ban grandparents for not fitting the aesthetic.

Strangely child loathing thread for a forum called Mumsnet

Not RTFT but I'd do the same as Jen do, get your DH to stay in the hotel and be dad and you nip upstairs for feeding

asking to clarify if a young breastfeeding baby can attend is reasonable. If the baby can’t, it’s essentially the same as not inviting you at all. Since they invited you, it seems logical they intended for you and the baby to attend and neglected to address the invite properly.

People also ignore that children are humans in their own right. Not inviting 'your' kids doesn't mean that's it's a childfree wedding!

Couples tend to be pushed into blanket policies because parents see their kids as extensions of themselves and/or because babysitting is so expensive.

You may be happy to have mum friend Janine's kids, with whom your kids regularly hang out. Or friend's children who you have a real relationship with.

But not Sarah from pilates class's kids whom you've never seen in real life and wouldn't know from Adam.

However if you invite only the former the latter tend to get upset, 'I didn't know kids were invited' etc etc.

That’s not under debate is it? Literally my only point is that everything outside of the vows is a party.

@Dogon most are breastfed?
Quick count of friends and their babies and 95% were never ever breastfed. Not even for a second. Only on Mumsnet does everyone breastfeed for years.

@ChocolateCakeOverspill Things don't have to be necessary to cause stress

All we actually know is that she hasn't included the OP's children on the invite
😂
Doesn't that suggest anything to you?

She didn't say that though? She just didn't include their names on the invite - nowhere has she said its specifically a no children invite. All we actually know is that she hasn't included the OP's children on the invite.

I don't think it's unreasonable to check that the bride doesn't want your baby there, and that she realises that means you'll be unable to attend.

The vows can be done in a room with a couple of witnesses. All the other stuff is literally just a party. Of course all that is important for some people who want to share it (with or without kids present) and of course that’s stressful sometimes, but it is ultimately a party and not a necessary part of the process of getting married.

I had a great wedding, it was a lovely party, everyone had a great time and got dressed up but the only bit which actually mattered was the bit where we said our vows, signed the register and had two minutes together outside the church before everyone else joined us.

As you've just gotten the invite, and she's your oldest friend so I'm assuming you're close, she should have realised that your baby would need to be with his mother!!
Plus, it's not as if your baby just popped out of thin air, so she knew you'd probably have him with you!
You are NOT being unreasonable, and she could have spoken to you instead of other people!!

She said no children. That did put her in an awkward position. It was clear on the invitation the baby wasn't invited.,If she says yes to you then it will be difficult to say no to somebody else and might end up with hordes of screaming babies. Awful.

Just don't go to the hen do or the wedding. She's made her priorities clear. Anyone who expects a mother to leave an EBF baby is a fool.

How are they? For having their wedding day the way they want it?

Selfish, selfish women! Fall into line!

Because it's not invited..? It could go to the night do, if it was invited. Sleeping patterns are irrelevant.

@ChocolateCakeOverspill The important bit is the vows, the rest is just a party.

I mean, you're saying yourself it's not just a party? Part of it might be a party, but the whole day is important, hopefully only happens once in your life, there can be stressful family dynamics etc, so it's not 'just a party'

Brides are getting increasingly selfish and self absorbed. If she was truly your friend then she would never ever put you in such a terrible situation.