AIBU to ask to bring my baby to a wedding?

Zombie thread

I think asking was fine. Before I was a mum I wasn't aware that not all babies would take a bottle! If I'd wanted a no kid wedding, I would have never thought about some kid starving if their mum came without them...

Your oldest friend, who invited you to the night do only, 1 month before her wedding? You’re going out of your way to be there for her with the hen do, booking a room to feed your baby, and she cba to text you back to ask if the baby can come to the evening? Sounds like a s**t friend, OP. Weddings bring out the worst in people, I know from experience, I’d stay well clear of her IMO!

Can you not express a bit every day, or every few days leading up to the wedding and freeze the breast milk for the baby sitter?
I did that when my husband and I had a wedding to go to. If you don't have a baby sitter, don't go. Your kids weren't on the invite, simple as that. Sorry.

They have spoken. OP has updated.

But we don’t know as the bride won’t even reply! Why is op supposed to be psychic?

You don’t tell the bride you’re bringing your baby - it’s not your decision to make. You ask the bride and groom and accept gracefully if they tell you ‘sorry but we’re having a child/baby free wedding’.

I made the mistake of not taking my 3 month old breast fed baby to a wedding. There were a couple of babies there so it would have been ok. Tell your friend you will be bringing the baby.

@Treesinmygarden

how so?

You sound ridiculously immature.

I had the wedding I wanted and didn't fall out with any friends or family in the process, so why would I be jealous?

Yep, nailed it 😂

@MargotBamborough

of people being able to have the wedding that they want, to have the guts to go against tradition and others expectations, for enjoying the delights of a child free wedding!!

YABU. No children means no children. If she accepts 1 baby, she could end up with 5 or 6 babies ruining the vibe she obviously wants. You have the option to not attend if unhappy with the options.

Of what?

@Treesinmygarden
@MargotBamborough

you both sound jealous tbh

I have two kids and think childfree women are geniuses.
i definitely felt like a chump with my 5am wake up call today 😂

why would ypu not be happy Bout the hen do? I hD to do this with a couple of hen do I went to when my boy was young, it affected noone. The hen do is at a hotel she's just popping to the room once every couple of hours to feed, even if she didn't bring the baby she'd have to do that to go pump.

Agree with @greenhydrangea

thats a list of reasons PP had babies at their wedding which is great, but you can’t speak for anyone else.

we had a totally child free wedding for our own reasons. Doesn’t make us dicks. A few people did have to turn down the invite, which was a shame but they were understanding and we are still friends.

some people need to grow up and stop taking things so personally… someone else’s wedding day is not about you

It is absolutely not a reasoned response. It is her list of justifications for what she deemed reasonable for her wedding - nothing to do with the bride of this particular wedding's plans for her day.

It doesn't matter if in a random poster's opinion, breast-fed babies are "absolutely welcome" - for this wedding they are clearly not.

Thank you for such a reasoned response!!

I see absolutely nothing wrong with your request. You're essentially saying you would love to come but unfortunately, it would not be possible without the baby and your friend could have just replied with a no. The many points around "how" the message was framed is only a matter of perception in my opinion. We all have different ways and preferences about how we would prefer people frame written messages which everyone usually has their own interpretation/styles. We should be more flexible and open minded about messages which perhaps may not really have intended to come across how they seem and cut people some slack.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable.
In my opinion, ‘babes in arms’ that are breastfed are absolutely allowed at weddings where it’s ‘no children’.

From 6months onwards when majority of babies should be on solids, I think it’s reasonable to expect parents to leave baby with a trusted sitter at home or at the hotel.

Pre 6months, all they do is sleep and eat.

If someone is genuinely ‘banning you’
because you are a breastfeeding mother of a pre-6month old baby, they are not your friend and need to get over themselves.

I had a ‘child free wedding’ , only my nieces and nephews were there(6 of them) and any friends who had babies under 6 month old were invited to bring them and I provided a breast feeding/changing room for them as well.

Sending love, you’re amazing, your mate sounds like a d*ck.

I'm on page 29 of 34 pages and I'm losing the will to live trying to read all the comments so I've skipped the other pages to make this comment lol

Bride wants a child free day, I don't know how that makes her a bride zila. It wasn't nice of her not to reply but moan to another friend about it. Maybe she's had others ask the same question and it's got to her.

Bride is op's oldest friend, that doesn't mean best friend. Best friends would be invited to the full wedding not just the evening.

I personally do not agree with child free weddings especially if it's family kids and not everyone is entitled to bring kids even if it isn't child free. You invite your good neighbour to your wedding or work colleague, that doesn't mean the kids are invited. If you can't attend an event for whatever reason then you just don't go. A Bride is not responsible for your childminding situation.

Just to add, I don't know why Bampton.... is so obsessed with this wedding and Bride, seems like she wants the wedding to fail.

After over 33 years, a scarey amount of our guests and service providers are dead!