To think life would be better without Christmas

Just pretend you enjoy it like the majority of us.

Someone on here said that the reason it's such a big deal is because we don't really have any other festivals to mark the seasons passing. I know there is Easter and Halloween but I thought it was an insightful comment.

You are quite right, OP. If Christmas was just what it should be (for those with faith), ie a religious celebration of the birth of Christ, then it would be fine.
But all the nonsense of excessive spending, parties, tacky decorations and sheer stress is just bonkers. Already there are loads of threads on here about family difficulties. The whole thing is best ignored.
My favourite ever Christmas Day was probably spent in Marrakesh, a Muslim country - Xmas totally not a thing & it was fab.

I've been on the breadline and I'm acutely aware of the loss of family members over the Christmas period, having lost a sibling and my husband. I can actively let my grief subsume me, or I can continue to live for my children.

Like others, my post was in relation to the OP who doesn't actively need to do or buy in to half of the things she listed, not the general population.

Completely agree with you

A midwinter festival of light would be fun, but it's become utterly depressing.

It was your first sentence. Christmas is NOT simply as hard or easy as you make it. For many people it is a time when they feel their lack of family acutely, or the death of a child, parent or partner. For people living on the breadline it is not as simple as just spreading the cost out. For someone with a terminally ill family member it is the last Christmas they will every spend together. For people who had difficult home lives growing up, Christmas can remain a time with uncomfortable associations. Some people have no control over how Christmas is going to make them feel, and people need to be sensitive to that.
This is also why it annoys me when people say 'what difference does it make to anyone else if I put all my decorations up in early November' or 'just ignore all the signs of Christmas if you don't like it'. Some people just live in a bubble.

Where do you live OP?

I only ask because where I am, there are a lot of free/very affordable Christmas things that go on. There's a chap that has a roadworthy sleigh and mechanical reindeer that lift up, like magic. He dresses as Santa and a couple of nights in December he tours around the streets blasting Christmas music and then stops in a designated place. Kids can have a cuddle and pic for free, or collect a small gift for a few quid. All the proceeds go to local charities and its honestly so lovely.

I caved and made a FB account when DD was a baby and follow local businesses, soft play, Families First page etc, amd just take a couple of minutes a day looking at what is available

We're doing breakfast with Santa, but it's only about 12 quid and adults are free if not eating. Same with Christmas railway, but we are 10 minutes from the seaside and this train runs anyway, so it's fairly inexpensive for the experience

I think maybe location is key and we do live in one of the most impoverished parts of England, so I'm guessing we pay a fraction of what you would for similar experiences down South

I do the Elf too, but honestly it was like 3 quid, it'll last bloody years, then get donated and it take maybe 5 mins to scroll Pinterest to get an idea and I only do ones that I already have the stuff to do

I will say though, I only have 1 child and know this magic will only last a few years, so maybe that colours my view

I don't generally have a strong opinion on xmas one way or the other. I'm an atheist, we're certainly not loaded, but mine is still young enough that Vinted presents are absolutely amazing to her, we're a long way off from expensive gadgets!

Ultimately I'll cringe when DH pulls the bloody Perry Como record out amd I know I'll have a few late nights organising stuff, but it doesn't overly stress me

And I will be working the Christmas night shift too, but drinking has never bothered me and DD will be going to bed as I go, so I'm not too fussed

But, please don't make yourself genuinely unhappy doing this stuff, because that will bleed down to your kids, they tend to be intuitive little things

In what way? How is my post any different to any of the others who have said the same thing?

Yanbu!
My dd hates Christmas because she saw my ex attacking me after he got drunk.
It's a horrible time of year for us and it starts in September.
Not everyone enjoys it 😐

But some people do have the Xmas you describe you’d love.. they choose not to be sucked into all of the extravagance.

You know you don't have to do all those things?

Very smug post, showing very little awareness of the difficulties some people face around Christmas time.

I don't think life would be better without Christmas, but it would definitely be better without the way Christmas seems to have evolved.
If it was just confined to December, with less focus on big expensive presents it would be so much better.
For some people Christmas can be a very lonely or sad time. It must be even harder when they're bombarded with it from September on, constantly reminded that they have no one to spend it with, or that a loved one is no longer there with them, or that they can't afford all the things their children's friends will get.
I also find a lot of the threads on here around Christmas time very depressing. No willingness to invite a lonely relative to share the day; a very begrudging attitude to spending the day with parents or grandparents; and a general closing the door to everyone except 'my own little unit' attitude.

I love Christmas but YANBU, we have never gone nuts with the cost of presents at all (if a ‘bigger’ present is needed then that’s a birthday thing) but I am fed up of being broke particularly this year. The school has gone crazy on the fundraising and I’m sick of it.

Christmas is has hard or easy as you make it. We have around 20 people for dinner and friends and family dropping in on the day. We share the load so that no one person ends up doing it alone, and we all contribute to the cost.

I start buying presents and stocking fillers over the course of the year when things are on promotion or in the sales. The kids give me their Christmas lists in September - no list, you get cash - and I start buying their main presents then, one a month in September, October and November.

I start stocking the freezer in October , again spreading the cost.

On the day itself, we eat, drink, watch movies, drink, play games, drink and snooze!

I hate christmas. All the focus on families being together supposedly having a wonderful time which makes you feel forgotten and worthless if thats not what happens for you. Pressure to buy presents people can’t afford.
I never had a happy Christmas as a child after my mum died when I was 6 so I can’t actually remember one.
After that it was years of horror and abuse until I could get away as soon as I was old enough to leave.
As an adult christmas was ok in my first marriage, he had lovely friends and family so I loved being part of that.
Second marriage soon became a time of stress as a stepmum. Not a role I was ever comfortable with although I tried my very best.
Now always on my own, just me and my cat.

I don't hear my Jewish friends saying "I hate Chanukah", or my Muslim friends saying "bloody Eid, all that cooking so late" or Hindus with Diwali. Those who are devout Christian seem to have a good time too. My best friend who is a pagan has a chilled time too. I wonder if it's a Faith issue/lack of faith issue or is it an issue for those who want to worship the market economy?

Bit stupid to spend every penny you earn on presents, Santa's grotto, and new outfits.

I wear clothes I already have to parties. Kids get one big present from me, some others from family, and their stocking. Christmas shows are attended by me wherever possible, or if not due to work, another family member will go.

I'm with you OP. But my Dad did die on Christmas Day 2016 & my Mum died January 10th 2021 so that's partly why I have to dredge up enthusiasm for it for my family's sake. If the weather is nice I dont mind it as much cos then at least we can do nice long family walks etc. I hate the short days though & the way it starts getting dark at 3. My DS birthday is December 18th too so it's an expensive month for us.

As a Christian, Christmas is a wonderful time for us filled with family and celebration.
We have a full calendar throughout December and I love everything about it.
We have many wonderful family traditions that don't cost a penny (late night Christmas markets, carol singing, candlelit midnight mass, walks in the woods with mulled cider and mince pies...)
As a family we also make time (not just in December but throughout the year) for charitable causes which really makes it hit home how fortunate we are to have our health, a loving family and a roof over our heads.
It sounds like you have lost the magic. Try dialling it all down, spend less money on gifts and spend more time making memories.

ssd
Oh for christs sake, with all that's happening in the world

@ssd Seriously ? These comments are starting to become derailing. I agree in asking if you think we should shut down AIBU and chat and only be allowed to discuss the big issues.

YABU I love Christmas, and would be incredibly sad not to celebrate. I still find it magical. I wish I still had little children so I could go to nativity plays and school carol concerts!

I don't go OTT with any of it, never did elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes or any of that.

My Christmas highlights are the lights/ decorations and events like carol singing and school nativities. They have that deeper culrural and social meaning through the generations.

I don't want to be planning it any earlier than November, and these days that seems to rule a lot out as everything seems to book up long before Halloween. I like to be in the season that I'm in.

I pretty much buy for DH and my DCs now, plus DNs if I see them, although they're into the teenage years now so getting harder to buy nice surprises for. Buying for adults who can buy anything they want for themselves gets pretty daft.

I'm not a winter person and generally Christmas is a nice distraction through December. I then tend to have a fitness project to get me through January until it's light until 5pm, the snowdtops are out and past the worst of winter. The commercial side of Christmas leeching through autumn is an irritating thing in the background, and the commercial explosion on the 1st of November is draining. That's the side I'd happily edit out but can't.

YANBU to feel yours would, but mine certainly wouldn't. I'd find life very monotonous and drab without highlights like Christmas to shake things up.

Here's another one. So patronising. Not all of us post our innermost worries you know. Sometimes they might just be petty annoyances we want to get off our chests