Is your 9 year old really annoying?

Not at all. At that age they sometimes pick up silly pronunciations, but it was easy for me to say "Why are you talking like that? Don't"
Never found her annoying though. It sounds like she's just being a normal 9 year old and the issue is with you.

I did not think that your message sounded remotely helpful, and it wasn't even aimed at me. I honestly thought it was pretty vicious.

My 9yo is annoying and has always been that way. His older sister wasn't annoying at all so I think it's just his personality. Although come to think of it his 9yo cousin is a PITA as well.

Yes my 9 year old is awful and I struggle being around him but he is constantly teasing and winding up his siblings and I find that extremely difficult

You sound nice Polly, so empathetic and non confrontational.

Not a single bit of that implies that it's just her and that she's a uniquely awful parent. And of course all of it was in response to her calling me rude for attempting to help her.

It's not normal for a parent to get the ick about their child, no. The truth is good. Does that imply she's the only parent on earth that has ever happened to? No, obviously not. What kind of person wouldn't rather be rude than refuse any advise trying to help them to overcome such 'ick' so that the innocent child in the middle of this will never sense how her mother actually feels about her? You and I clearly have different definitions of unpleasant.

Oh I have another one! "Are you going to get that diagnosed and get help so you can manage it or are you just going to keep getting annoyed at your child and hope she doesn't pick up on it?" I think that's pretty unpleasant too. Did you think it wasn't?

Mine is the same age OP and I feel the same sometimes! The back chat and the attitude … definitely feel like I have a teenager already 🥺

That's what I got from "you just wanted to bitch about your unfortunate daughter". Oh, and when you told another user that it's not normal for a parent to get the ick about their child. And when you said you'd rather be rude than be like the OP. None of that is acceptable stuff to say to another person. If you don't want people to think you're being unpleasant, don't be unpleasant.

If that doesn't satisfy you, wait as long as you like 🙂

Where did I say it was just her and she's a uniquely awful parent? Find it for me. I'll wait.

Surely the number of people sympathising with OP tells you that it's not just her and she's probably not some uniquely awful parent

Some of some people's kids are annoying some of the time, all of the time or never. Some parents are more easily annoyed than others. Some parents get annoyed but don't get 'the ick' from their children. That's not actually super common you know. And I'm pretty sure literally not a single person on this thread said their children could never annoy them. You just made that up for dramatic effect. But swear some more.

Ffs all the ‘no my children could never annoy me’ fuck off.

kids are annoying. Even more so if you have sensory issues. I hear you.
we love them, but they are still annoying.

Oh so you just wanted company to bitch about your unfortunate daughter but have no intention of doing anything to sort out the situation. Nice. I'd rather be 'rude' any day of the week.

I do believe it a phase, my now teen was hard work at that age (I just thought it was because I was a young mum aged 30 when she was 9/10 years old). Also niece and nephew was super annoying at 9, but I just put that down to being pregnant at that time. I just always gave them excuses at that age because they are just a child at that age. But like my niece would be asking if my baby (in my belly) liked blood… if she would like glass… I just found it super wrong. And the constant crying between them two was insane, hormones for them are kicking in I guess. Niece and nephew are 12/13 now and have stopped asking funky questions and are actually lovely with my youngest and will make great baby sitters! So just hang in there, this phase will pass!

I’ve felt like this op with my 6 year old ever since we got back from a 2 weeks holiday at the end of the 6 week holiday. I didn’t feel like this before . I’ve just had a bit too much of her I think and I need a break just not possible atm.
I can’t face going a shop with her at the moment as she’s on the want constantly and at home she so unbelievably messy, moody and such a know all.
it will pass tho!
pull that sickie.

You didn't answer a single other one of my questions.

But for the chewing, get ear plugs. Lots of them out there for kids with ASD. It's not her fault you may have undiagnosed autism and sensory issues.

Yanbu anybody is annoying when you spend to much time with them and all these things that start of minor like loud eating soon become very very irritating. Does she hang out in her bedroom or is she like your shadow. One of mine was like my shadow and I'm somebody who needs alone time, I had to create space between us to stay sane.

Oh yeah, for sure. That sounds hard. Everyone is annoying if you never have any time to relax in the quiet now and then.

Oh and mine does have ADHD I think although haven't had an official diagnosis yet. I might have been more understanding of the talking and the questions and the correcting and the utter utter laziness if I knew that then but it didn't become obvious until she hit puberty

Noisy eating: It's your job to teach her to chew with her lips closed.
Inability to use her own brain: What does that mean?
Constant talking: Does she have ADHD or something? Otherwise, you tell her that mommy needs quiet time now for however long. Set a timer if you need to. Send her off to do something else,
Laziness: What are the consequences for laziness? Again, could this be an ADHD thing?

Your suspicions about your own autism make it more likely than average that your DD has some kind of issue also.

What do you mean you're probably autistic? Are you going to get that diagnosed and get help so you can manage it or are you just going to keep getting annoyed at your child and hoping she doesn't pick up on it?

My eldest is and always has been my best friend in the world but at 10 she was SO fucking annoying. Certainly didnt struggle to be around her or get the ick but everything you describe was her at 10. Constantly correcting me as well about everything. She's 15 now and stresses me out for very different reasons